Stay Golden Ponyboy!

F/6.3, 1/180, ISO 320.

American Goldfinch

Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A taxi driver.

Interesting Fact: Goldfinches move south in winter following a pattern that seems to coincide with regions where the minimum January temperature is no colder than 0 degrees Fahrenheit on average. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Goldfinch )

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The Key To Eating Healthy Is To Avoid Any Food That Has TV Commercial.

F/6.0, 1/125, ISO 640.

Golden Eagle

What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?

Swimming trunks.

Interesting Fact: Although capable of killing large prey such as cranes, wild ungulates, and domestic livestock, the Golden Eagle subsists primarily on rabbits, hares, ground squirrels, and prairie dogs. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Golden_Eagle/overview )

Sometimes I pretend To Be Normal. But It Gets Boaring. So I Go Back To Being Me.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 400.

 Yellow-Rumped Warbler

I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.

They told me I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.

Interesting Fact: When males court females, they fluff their feathers, raise their wings and the feathers of the crown, and hop from perch to perch, chipping. They may also make display flights in which they glide back and forth or fly slowly with exaggerated wingbeats. The Yellow-rumped Warbler’s flight is agile and swift, and the birds often call as they change direction. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Yellow-rumped_Warbler/lifehistory#behavior )

Flap Your Wings Like Bird!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 1000.

Golden-crowned Kinglet

Two fish are in a tank.

One turns to the other and says, “Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?”

Interesting Fact: Although it used to nest almost exclusively in boreal spruce-fir forests, the Golden-crowned Kinglet has been expanding its breeding range southward into conifer stands of the Midwest and Appalachians. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Golden-crowned_Kinglet/lifehistory )

I Belong In The Air

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 1250

Bald Eagle

Did you hear the joke about the roof?

Never mind, it’s over your head!

Interesting Fact: The Bald Eagle has been the national emblem of the United States since 1782 and a spiritual symbol for native people for far longer than that. These regal birds aren’t really bald, but their white-feathered heads gleam in contrast to their chocolate-brown body and wings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle )

You Are My Sunshine

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Palm Warbler

Why didn’t the sailors play cards?

Because the captain was on the deck.

Interesting Fact: Canada’s boreal forests stretch for miles and miles. The great boreal forest, often called “North America’s bird nursery,” is the summer home to billions of migratory birds and an estimated 98% of all Palm Warblers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Palm_Warbler )

Eat My Bubbles!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Merganser  

Tom and Bobby are talking:

Bobby: “Holy crap, I just fell off a 50 ft ladder.”

Tom: “Oh my God, are you okay?”

Bobby: “Yeah it’s a good thing I fell off the first step.”

Interesting Fact: Its breedinghabitat is freshwater lakes and rivers across northern North America, Greenland, Europe, and Asia. It nests in sheltered locations on the ground near water. It is migratory and many northern breeders winter in coastalwaters further south. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-breasted_merganser#Behaviour )

It Takes Nothing To Join The Crowd. It Takes Everything To Stand Alone.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Killdeer

What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.

Interesting Fact: Gravel rooftops attract Killdeer for nesting, but can be dangerous places to raise a brood. Chicks may be unable to leave a roof because of high parapets and screened drain openings. Adults eventually lure chicks off the roof, which can be dangerous – although one set of chicks survived a leap from a seven-story building. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Killdeer )

Good Things Come To Those Who Bait.

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 125.

Osprey

In class:

Math Teacher: “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?”

Student: “A drinking problem.”

Interesting Fact: Osprey eggs do not hatch all at once. Rather, the first chick emerges up to five days before the last one. The older hatchling dominates its younger siblings, and can monopolize the food brought by the parents. If food is abundant, chicks share meals in relative harmony; in times of scarcity, younger ones may starve to death. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Osprey )

Haters Will See You Walking On Water And Say It Is Because You Can’t Swim

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 250.

Great Egret

Worker calls in to his Boss:

Worker: I can’t come to work today. I’m sick

Boss: Oh yea! What’s wrong with you now?

Worker: I have anal glaucoma.

Boss: What the hell is that?

Worker: I just can’t see my ass working today.

Interesting Fact: Great Egrets fly slowly but powerfully: with just two wingbeats per second their cruising speed is around 25 miles an hour. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/great_egret/lifehistory )