Who Dyd Your Hair!

F/8.0, 1/1000, ISO 400.

Red-Bellied Woodpecker

Teacher: “Bobby what do you want to be when you grow up?”

Bobby: “A doctor.”

Teacher: “And why’s that?”

Bobby: “Because it’s the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill.”

Interesting Fact:  These birds often stick to main branches and trunks of trees, where they hitch in classic woodpecker fashion, leaning away from the trunk and onto their stiff tail feathers as they search for food hiding in bark crevices. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-bellied_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

Dont Mess With Me, I Can Peck You Up!

F/9.0, 1/1250, ISO 400.

Downy Woodpecker

Teacher: Bob please point to America on the map.

Bob: This is it.

Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?

Class: Bob did.

Interesting Fact: Woodpeckers don’t sing songs, but they drum loudly against pieces of wood or metal to achieve the same effect. People sometimes think this drumming is part of the birds’ feeding habits, but it isn’t. In fact, feeding birds make surprisingly little noise even when they’re digging vigorously into wood. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/downy_woodpecker/lifehistory )

When you are with the right person, every day is Valentine’s Day!

Happy Valentines Day

F/5.6, 1/1600, ISO 400.

Mute Swan

What’s the best part about Valentines Day?

The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.

Interesting Fact:  The Mute Swan is reported to mate for life. However, changing of mates does occur infrequently, and swans will remate if their partner dies. If a male loses his mate and pairs with a young female, she joins him on his territory. If he mates with an older female, they go to hers. If a female loses her mate, she remates quickly and usually chooses a younger male.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

Rain Makes Everything Wet

F/6.3, 1/125, ISO 320.

Red-breasted Merganser

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up.

One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised.

She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?”

He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

Interesting Fact: The fastest duck ever recorded was a red-breasted merganser that attained a top airspeed of 100 mph while being pursued by an airplane. This eclipsed the previous speed record held by a canvasback clocked at 72 mph. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-breasted_merganser )

I Wanna Go Fast!

F/6.3, 1/60, ISO 400.

White-throated Sparrow

Two state officials are talking  “I don’t know what people have against us, We haven’t done anything.”

Interesting Fact:  Males are typically dominant over females, but whether an individual is white-striped or tan-striped seems to have no bearing on status. When pairing up, white-striped forms tend to choose tan-striped individuals, and vice versa. Pairs stay together for the summer, but birds often choose new partners the next year.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/White-throated_Sparrow/lifehistory )

Keep Looking Up Thats The Secret Of Life!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 400.

Red-Bellied Woodpecker

Dentist: This will hurt a little.

Patient: OK.

Dentist: I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.

Interesting Fact:  These birds often stick to main branches and trunks of trees, where they hitch in classic woodpecker fashion, leaning away from the trunk and onto their stiff tail feathers as they search for food hiding in bark crevices. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-bellied_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

Peek A Boo!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Green Heron

Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!

Interesting Fact: Green Herons usually hunt by wading in shallow water, but occasionally they dive for deep-water prey and need to swim back to shore—probably with help from the webs between their middle and outer toes. One juvenile heron was seen swimming gracefully for more than 60 feet, sitting upright “like a little swan,” according to one observer. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )

Fly Eagles Fly!!!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320, CS6.

Bald Eagles ( Juveniles )

Why did the football coach shake the vending machine?

I don’t know?

Because he needed a quarter back.

Interesting Fact: Sometimes even the national bird has to cut loose. Bald Eagles have been known to play with plastic bottles and other objects pressed into service as toys. One observer witnessed six Bald Eagles passing sticks to each other in midair. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle/lifehistory ) 

I Patrol The Sky And I Am Super High!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Peregrine Falcon

A Jen caught her husband Bob on the weight scale, sucking in his stomach.

Jen: “That won’t help you, Bob, you know?”

Bob: “Oh it helps a lot,” says the man, “it’s the only way I can see the numbers!”

Interesting Fact: People have trained falcons for hunting for over a thousand years, and the Peregrine Falcon was always one of the most prized birds. Efforts to breed the Peregrine in captivity and reestablish populations depleted during the DDT years were greatly assisted by the existence of methods of handling captive falcons developed by falconers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Peregrine_Falcon/lifehistory )

I Swim Because I Am Too SEXY For A Sport That Requires Clothes

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 250.

Horned Grebe

Little Red Riding Hood walks all alone through the deep dark wood. Suddenly she hears rustling in a thick bush. Cautiously she moves the branches aside and finds herself facing the big bad wolf.

Little Red Riding Hood: “Oh, Big Bad Wolf, why do you have such huge red eyes?”

Big Bad Wolf: “Go away! I’m crapping!”

Interesting Fact: Dives underwater for food, in open water and among aquatic vegetation. Picks insects off water surface. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Horned_Grebe/lifehistory )