Hi I Exist!

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White-Tailed Deer

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?

Nobody.

Interesting Fact: The conversion of land adjacent to the Canadian Rockies into agriculture use and partial clear-cutting of coniferous trees (resulting in widespread deciduous vegetation) has been favorable to the white-tailed deer and has pushed its distribution to as far north as Yukon. Populations of deer around the Great Lakes have also expanded their range northwards, due to conversion of land to agricultural uses favoring more deciduous vegetation, and local caribou and moose populations. The westernmost population of the species, known as the Columbian white-tailed deer, once was widespread in the mixed forests along the Willamette and Cowlitz River valleys of western Oregon and southwestern Washington, but today its numbers have been considerably reduced, and it is classified as near-threatened. This population is separated from other white-tailed deer populations. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White-tailed_deer )

 

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Never Bend Your Head. Always Hold It High. Look The World Straight In The Eye.

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Curve-billed Thrasher

A wife says, “Hey! Look at that funny guy whose been drinking a lot.”

The husband responds, “Who is he?”

The wife answers, “Well, five years ago, he was my boyfriend and I denied him for marriage.”

The husband says, “Oh my God! He’s still celebrating his freedom!”

Interesting Fact: The Curve-billed Thrasher that lives in the Sonoran Desert of Arizona and northwestern Mexico looks different than the form that lives in the Chihuahuan Desert of Texas and central Mexico, and they may be separate species. The Texas and eastern bird has a lighter breast, more contrasting spots, pale wingbars, and white tail corners. The more western form has a grayer breast with less obvious spots, inconspicuous wingbars, and smaller, more grayish tail corners. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Curve-billed_Thrasher/lifehistory )

Zero FOX Given!

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Red Fox 

What kind of music do Mummies listen to?

Wrap.

Interesting Fact: Red foxes either establish stable home ranges within particular areas or are itinerant with no fixed abode. They use their urine to mark their territories. A male fox raises one hind leg and his urine is sprayed forward in front of him, whereas a female fox squats down so that the urine is sprayed in the ground between the hind legs. Urine is also used to mark empty cache sites, used to store found food, as reminders not to waste time investigating them. The use of up to 12 different urination postures allows them to precisely control the position of the scent mark. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_fox )

Don’t Act Like You’re Not Impressed

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Boston Terriers

What did the dog say to the hot dog bun?

“Are you pure bred?”

Interesting Fact: Judge weighed over 27.5 pounds (12.5 kg). The offspring interbred with one or more French Bulldogs, providing the foundation for the Boston Terrier. Bred down in size from fighting dogs of the Bull and Terrier types, the Boston Terrier originally weighed up to 44 pounds (20 kg) (Olde Boston Bulldogge).[2] The breed was first shown in Boston in 1870. By 1889 the breed had become sufficiently popular in Boston that fanciers formed the American Bull Terrier Club, the breed’s nickname, “roundheads”. Shortly after, at the suggestion of James Watson (a noted writer and authority), the club changed its name to the Boston Terrier Club and in 1893 it was admitted to membership in the American Kennel Club, thus making it the first US breed to be recognized.[8] It is one of a small number of breeds to have originated in the United States. The Boston Terrier was the first non-sporting dog bred in the US. ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boston_Terrier )

Be A Flamingo In A Flock Of Pigeons!

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American Flamingo

Why don’t basketball players go away for summer vacation?

They’re afraid they might get called for traveling

Interesting Fact: The American Flamingo is the most widespread species of the flamingo family. It is the state bird of Gujarat, India. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/940/overview/American_Flamingo.aspx )

So High!

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Hispaniolan Amazon Parrot

What did the cat say after eating two robins lying in the sun?

I just love baskin’ robins.

Interesting Fact: As with other amazons, it prefers forested areas where food is plentiful. This parrot lives in the wood forests in Haiti and the Dominican Republic. However over the recent years they have been captured out of their natural habitat illegally for pet trades or just to keep them as pets which are very popular in the Dominican Republic. Right now[when?] the population ranges from 10,000 to 19,000 in the wild and decreasing. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hispaniolan_amazon )

Everything In Your Life Is Reflection Of A Choice You Have Made, If You Want A Difrent Result, Make A Different Choice.

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Mute Swan

A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, “1 enemy ship on the horizont.”

The captain says, “Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die.”

So the watchman comes to him and asks, “Why did you want your red shirt?”

The captain says, “Because if i get injured they won’t see and keep on fighting.”

So the watchman comes to him again and says, “20 enemy ships on the horizont.”

The captain says, “Bring me my brown pants.”

Interesting Fact:  Mute Swans can adapt to degraded habitat and actually benefit from the spread of the invasive common reed Phragmites australis, which flourishes in disturbed sites. As the reeds spread into lakes and ponds, the swans can build nests farther offshore in the reed beds, where they’re safer from egg predators. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

It’s Better To Swallow Words Than To Have To Eat Them Later

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Tree Swallow

What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?

Flood lights!

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows have helped researchers make major advances in several branches of ecology, and they are among the best-studied bird species in North America. Still, we know little about their lives during migration and winter. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

Goodmooning!

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Garden Gnome

One time a man was driving on the road when he got stopped by a gnome with red clothes.

The gnome said” I’m a red gnome and I want a strawberry”. The man gave him a strawberry and went on his business.

Later he got stopped by a gnome with yellow clothes.

The gnome said:” I’m a yellow gnome and I want a banana”. The man, slightly annoyed, gave him a banana and continued to drive.

He then got stopped by a gnome with blue clothes.

The man, now pissed, said to him:” Let me guess, you’re a blue gnome and you want a blueberry”

The blue gnome then said:” sir, please step out of the car”

Interesting Fact: In ancient Rome, small stone statues depicting the Greco-Roman fertility god Priapus, also the protector of floors, were frequently placed in Roman gardens.[1][2][3] Gnomes as magical creatures were first described during the Renaissance period by Swiss alchemist Paracelsus as “diminutive figures two spans in height who did not like to mix with humans”.[4] During this period, stone “grotesques“, which were typically garishly painted, 1-metre-tall (3.3 ft) figurines, were commonly placed in the gardens of the wealthy.[5] Among the figures depicted were gobbi (Italian for hunchbacks). In particular, Jacques Callot produced 21 versions of gobbi, which he engraved and printed in 1616.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden_gnome#History )

If You Dare Come A Little Closer!

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Black-crowned Night-Heron

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

“You’re too young to smoke.”

 Interesting Fact: Some populations stay in one place year-round, while others disperse short distances of 5–60 miles. Others migrate farther, such as from Massachusetts to Florida and the Caribbean, or from Alberta to Mexico and Cuba. Migrants follow the coast or the Mississippi River flyway. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-crowned_Night-Heron/lifehistory )