What Does The Fox Say?

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Red Fox

What do you call a fox with a carrot in each ear?

Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

Interesting Fact: Red foxes are solitary hunters who feed on rodents, rabbits, birds, and other small game—but their diet can be as flexible as their home habitat. Foxes will eat fruit and vegetables, fish, frogs, and even worms. If living among humans, foxes will opportunistically dine on garbage and pet food. ( http://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/r/red-fox/ )

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It’s Good To Be The King

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Belted Kingfisher

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

Interesting Fact: Belted Kingfishers excavate burrows in earthen banks, usually avoiding ones with vegetation (especially trees, whose roots get in the way of digging). They generally choose a bank near water, but may use a ditch, road cut, landfill, sand pit, or gravel pit far from water. A pair may select a nest site during courtship, usually high in the bank where floodwaters are unlikely to reach. The male probes the bank with his bill, flying back and forth to the female, who calls continuously from a nearby perch. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Belted_Kingfisher/lifehistory )

Chillin’ Like A Villain!

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Bold Eagle

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he neverlands.

Interesting Fact: Bald Eagles nest in trees except in regions where only cliff faces or ground sites are available. They tend to use tall, sturdy conifers that protrude above the forest canopy, providing easy flight access and good visibility. In southern parts of their range, Bald Eagles may nest in deciduous trees, mangroves, and cactus. It’s unknown whether the male or the female takes the lead in selecting a nest site. Nests are typically built near the trunk, high up in the tree but below the crown (unlike Osprey nests). ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle/lifehistory )

That Hawkward Moment!

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants.”

The pirate says, “Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts.”

Interesting Fact: ed-tailed Hawks typically put their nests in the crowns of tall trees where they have a commanding view of the landscape. They may also nest on a cliff ledge or on artificial structures such as window ledges and billboard platforms. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )

Don’t Stick Your Beak Where It Doesn’t Belong!

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Great Blue Heron

Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?

Because he was sitting on the deck!

Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons generally move away from the northern edge of their breeding range in winter, with some flying as far south as the Caribbean. Populations in the Pacific Northwest and south Florida are present year-round.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/maps-range )

 

 

Now That’s What I Call Spread Eagle!

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Bald Eagle ( Juvenile )

What does the eagle say to his friends before they go out hunting for food ?

“Let us prey.”

Interesting Fact: The largest Bald Eagle nest on record, in St. Petersburg, Florida, was 2.9 meters in diameter and 6.1 meters tall. Another famous nest—in Vermilion, Ohio—was shaped like a wine glass and weighed almost two metric tons. It was used for 34 years until the tree blew down. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle/lifehistory )

I’m Hungry Like The Wolf!

great-blue-heron-water

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Great Blue Heron

A minister is stopped by a state trooper for speeding. The trooper smells alcohol on his breath and sees an empty wine bottle on the floor.

The trooper asks, “Sir, have you been drinking?” And the minister says, “Just water.”

The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?” And the minister looks down at the bottle and says,

“Good Lord, He’s done it again!”

Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons in the northeastern U.S. and southern Canada have benefited from the recovery of beaver populations, which have created a patchwork of swamps and meadows well-suited to foraging and nesting. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )

Here’s Looking At You, Kid

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Red-tailed Hawk

Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

Interesting Fact: Birds are amazingly adapted for life in the air. The Red-tailed Hawk is one of the largest birds you’ll see in North America, yet even the biggest females weigh in at only about 3 pounds. A similar-sized small dog might weigh 10 times that. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )

I Am Not Proud Of What I Did

Happy Halloween!

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Peregrine Falcon

Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?

It raises their spirits.

Interesting Fact: Peregrine Falcons are very strong fliers and often reported to be the fastest bird in the world. Their average cruising flight speed is 24 to 33 mph, increasing to 67 mph when in pursuit of prey. When stooping, or dropping on prey with their wings closed, it’s been calculated that Peregrine Falcons can achieve speeds of 238 mph. One researcher studied trained Peregrine Falcons while skydiving and described their body position while diving at 150 mph and 200 mph. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Peregrine_Falcon/lifehistory )

You Give Me The Chills!

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Red-tailed Hawk

Two snakes are talking.

One of them turns to the other and asks, “Are we venomous?”

The other replays, “Yes,why?…”

“I just bit ma lip.”

Interesting Fact: Red-tailed Hawks typically put their nests in the crowns of tall trees where they have a commanding view of the landscape. They may also nest on a cliff ledge or on artificial structures such as window ledges and billboard platforms. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory