The Key To Eating Healthy Is To Avoid Any Food That Has TV Commercial.

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Golden Eagle

What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?

Swimming trunks.

Interesting Fact: Although capable of killing large prey such as cranes, wild ungulates, and domestic livestock, the Golden Eagle subsists primarily on rabbits, hares, ground squirrels, and prairie dogs. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Golden_Eagle/overview )

Simon Says, Pause!

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Great Blue Heron 

What do you call when Batman skips out on church?

Christian Bale.

Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons have specialized feathers on their chest that continually grow and fray. The herons comb this “powder down” with a fringed claw on their middle toes, using the down like a washcloth to remove fish slime and other oils from their feathers as they preen. Applying the powder to their underparts protects their feathers against the slime and oils of swamps. ( Great Blue Heron Overview, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

 

 

 

I Don’t Give A Fox!

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Red Fox

What did one shark say to the other after eating a clown fish?

“Not only does it look funny, but it tastes funny too.”

Interesting Fact: Red foxes live around the world in many diverse habitats including forests, grasslands, mountains, and deserts. They also adapt well to human environments such as farms, suburban areas, and even large communities. The red fox’s resourcefulness has earned it a legendary reputation for intelligence and cunning. ( https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/r/red-fox/ )

I Belong In The Air

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Bald Eagle

Did you hear the joke about the roof?

Never mind, it’s over your head!

Interesting Fact: The Bald Eagle has been the national emblem of the United States since 1782 and a spiritual symbol for native people for far longer than that. These regal birds aren’t really bald, but their white-feathered heads gleam in contrast to their chocolate-brown body and wings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle )

I’m So High!

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Red-tailed Hawk

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.

“What’s wrong, dearest?” asked the confused husband.

“Oh darling,” sobbed the wife,

“I was cleaning little Jen’s room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?”

“Well,” replied the man, “I guess a spanking is out of the question?”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known wild Red-tailed Hawk was at least 30 years, 8 months old when it was found in Michigan in 2011, the same state where it had been banded in 1981. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/overview )

Be Bold, Be Brave Enough To Be Your True Self!

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Bald Eagles

What falls but never gets hurt?

The rain!

Interesting Fact: Bald Eagles occasionally hunt cooperatively, with one individual flushing prey towards another. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle )

HELLO From The Other Side!

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American Kestrel

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

“I love you with all my art!”

Interesting Fact: It can be tough being one of the smallest birds of prey. Despite their fierce lifestyle, American Kestrels end up as prey for larger birds such as Northern Goshawks, Red-tailed Hawks, Barn Owls, American Crows, and Sharp-shinned and Cooper’s Hawks, as well as rat snakes, corn snakes, and even fire ants. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Kestrel )

Chill The Fox Out!

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Red Fox

Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory?

He couldn’t concentrate!

Interesting Fact: In winter, foxes meet to mate. The vixen (female) typically gives birth to a litter of 2 to 12 pups. At birth, red foxes are actually brown or gray. A new red coat usually grows in by the end of the first month, but some red foxes are golden, reddish-brown, silver, or even black. Both parents care for their young through the summer before they are able to strike out on their own in the fall. ( https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/r/red-fox/ )

Fox News!

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Red Fox

What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?

Spare ribs!

Interesting Fact: Like a cat’s, the fox’s thick tail aids its balance, but it has other uses as well. A fox uses its tail (or “brush”) as a warm cover in cold weather and as a signal flag to communicate with other foxes. ( http://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/r/red-fox/ )

Don’t Make Me Walk When I Want To Fly!

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Red-tailed Hawk

How do trees access the internet?

They log in.

Interesting Fact: Red-tailed Hawks occupy just about every type of open habitat on the continent. This includes desert, scrublands, grasslands, roadsides, fields and pastures, parks, broken woodland, and (in Mexico) tropical rainforest. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )