Motorboating Is My Thing!

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Mallard Female

Which day of the week do chickens hate most?

Fry-day!

Interesting Fact: The female forms a shallow depression or bowl on the ground in moist earth. She does not carry material to the nest but rather pulls vegetation she can reach toward her while sitting on nest. During egg-laying phase, she lines the nest with grasses, leaves, and twigs from nearby. She also pulls tall vegetation over to conceal herself and her nest. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

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You Like My Legs?

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Greater Yellowlegs

A bear walks into a bar. He says, “I’ll have a gin… … … … … … … and tonic.”

The bartender says, “Sure, but what about the big pause?”

The bear says, “I was born with them.”

Interesting Fact: A common, tall, long-legged shorebird of freshwater ponds and tidal marshes, the Greater Yellowlegs frequently announces its presence by its piercing alarm calls. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Greater_Yellowlegs/lifehistory )

Everything In Your Life Is Reflection Of A Choice You Have Made, If You Want A Difrent Result, Make A Different Choice.

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 320, Photoshop CS6.

Mute Swan

A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, “1 enemy ship on the horizont.”

The captain says, “Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die.”

So the watchman comes to him and asks, “Why did you want your red shirt?”

The captain says, “Because if i get injured they won’t see and keep on fighting.”

So the watchman comes to him again and says, “20 enemy ships on the horizont.”

The captain says, “Bring me my brown pants.”

Interesting Fact:  Mute Swans can adapt to degraded habitat and actually benefit from the spread of the invasive common reed Phragmites australis, which flourishes in disturbed sites. As the reeds spread into lakes and ponds, the swans can build nests farther offshore in the reed beds, where they’re safer from egg predators. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

Baby Time!

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Canada Goose Goslings

What did the blanket say to the bed?

Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!

Interesting Fact: Canada Geese eat grain from fields, graze on grass, and dabble in shallow water by tipping forward and extending their necks underwater. During much of the year they associate in large flocks, and many of these birds may be related to one another. They mate for life with very low “divorce rates,” and pairs remain together throughout the year. Geese mate “assortatively,” larger birds choosing larger mates and smaller ones choosing smaller mates; in a given pair, the male is usually larger than the female. Most Canada Geese do not breed until their fourth year; less than 10 percent breed as yearlings, and most pair bonds are unstable until birds are at least two or three years old. Extra-pair copulations have been documented. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/lifehistory )

Water Chicken!

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American Coot

“Babe is it in?”

“Yea.” “Does it hurt?”

“Uh huh.”

“Let me put it in slowly.”

“It still hurts.”

“Okay, let’s try another shoe size.”

Interesting Fact: A slow and meticulous forager, the American Coot plucks at plants while walking, swimming, dabbling with its head just underwater, or in full dives. In flight coots are clumsy and labored (though less so than Common Moorhens). To get airborne, coots typically have to beat their wings while running across the water for many yards. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Coot/lifehistory# )

Bellllyyyy Floooop!

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Bufflehead Duck

Why are hairdressers never late for work?

Because they know all the short cuts!

Interesting Fact: Bufflehead nest only in cavities, using holes dug by Northern Flickers and sometimes Pileated Woodpeckers (as well as artificial nest boxes). In the summer, females that are too young to breed, or whose nests have failed, fly around in noisy groups and scope out the available nest holes for the following breeding season. Just before laying, females make more secretive flights to prospective holes, either alone or with their mates. They usually choose cavities in poplar or aspen trees, except in California where they often use pine trees. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bufflehead/lifehistory )

Keep Calm And Quack On!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Merganser  

A motorist in a B.M.W. was driving through the countryside on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, having a lovely time, when he came to an area of the road that was covered with a rather large puddle of water from a previous rain storm. Worried that he was going to damage the car and its engine in the deep water, he spotted a nearby farmer and asked how deep the water was. “Arr”, said the local farmer “That water only be a few inches deep!” Relieved, the motorist edged his car into the water, expecting to come out the other side in no time. Instead, as he drove in, the water came right up the side of the car, and the engine sputtered to a halt. Sitting there in his soaking wet luxury car, the motorist yelled at the local angrily: “I thought you said this water was only a few inches deep!!!” “Well,” replied the local farmer “It only come up to the waist of them there ducks!”

Interesting Fact: It prefers salt water more than the other two species of merganser. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/115/overview/Red-breasted_Merganser.aspx )

Even Though You’re Fed Up. You Gotta Keep Your Head Up.

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Double-crested Cormorant 

What do you call someone without a nose or a body?

Nobodynose.

Interesting Fact: Both Double-crested Cormorant mates work on the nest, with the male bringing most of the material and the female doing the building. The nest is mostly made of finger-size sticks, with some seaweed and flotsam, and lined with grass. Nests are 1.5 to 3 feet in diameter and 4 to 17 inches high; ground nests tend to be wider than tree nests, but tree nests have deeper interiors. Breeding cormorants readily steal nesting materials from a nearby nest that’s not guarded. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Double-crested_Cormorant/lifehistory )

The Fog Always Lifts.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 800.

Canada Goose

What do clouds do when they become rich?

A. They make it rain!

Interesting Fact: Nest Placement on the ground, usually on a muskrat mound or other slightly elevated site, near water. They prefer a spot from which they can have a fairly unobstructed view in many directions. Female selects the site and does much of nest construction. She adds down feathers and some body feathers beginning after the second egg is laid. She does all the incubation while her mate guards her and the nest.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/lifehistory )

Leave A Little Sparkle Wherever You Go!

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Snowy Egret

What does a pig put on its paper cut?

Oinkment!

Interesting Fact: The Snowy Egret eats mostly aquatic animals, including fish, frogs, worms, crustaceans, and insects. It often uses its bright yellow feet to paddle in the water or probe in the mud, rounding up prey before striking with its bill. Snowy Egrets feed while standing, walking, running, or hopping, and they may vibrate their bills, sway their heads, or flick their wings as part of prey gathering. They even forage while hovering. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Snowy_Egret/lifehistory )