Sleeping Beauty.

F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 200.

Common Snapping Turtle

What do you get when you mix an elephant with a rhino?

Elephino!!!

Joke complementary of: robinwrites

F/5.6, 1/125, ISO 200.

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 400.

Interesting Fact: Snapping turtles ambush their prey from the bottom of the water. Fish mistake their tongue for warms and viola dinner is served. yum

Hey, these are my nuts!

F/5.6, 1/160, ISO 800.

Eastern Chipmunk

Why did the skeleton burp?

Because it didn’t have the guts to fart.

Interesting Fact: A chipmunk’s cheeks can expand to three times the size of its head and they have pouches in their cheeks where they hold their food until they get back to store it in their burrows ( http://www.pets4homes.co.uk/pet-advice/fun-interesting-facts-about-chipmunks.html )

 

 

DON’T PANIC!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 360.

Canada Goose 

A man goes to his doctor because he’s been feeling very ill for days. The doctor gives him several sets of pills.

The doctor instructs; “Take the green pill with two big glasses of water when you get up. An hour later, take the white pill with another glass of water. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Mid afternoon, take the orange pill with plenty of water, and repeat that at dinner. Then, just before going to bed, take the red pill with several big glasses of water.”

The man is alarmed at huge volume of medicine he has been given to take, and nervously asks, “What’s the diagnosis? What’s wrong with me?”

The doctor says, “You’re dehydrated.”

Interesting Fact: The “giant” Canada Goose, Branta canadensis maxima, bred from central Manitoba to Kentucky but was nearly driven extinct in the early 1900s. Programs to reestablish the subspecies to its original range were in many places so successful that the geese have become a nuisance in many urban and suburban areas.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/lifehistory )

When I Was Born I Was So Surprised I Didn’t Talk For A Year And Half

F/5.6, 1/800, ISO 250.

White-throated Sparrow

What do you call a fake noodle?

An Impasta

Interesting Fact:  White-throated Sparrows eat mainly the seeds of grasses and weeds, including ragweed and buckwheat, as well as fruits of sumac, grape, cranberry, mountain ash, rose, blueberry, blackberry, and dogwood. In summer they eat large numbers of insects that they catch on the forest floor or, occasionally on quick flights out from low vegetation. These include dragonflies, wasps, stinkbugs, beetles, flies, and caterpillars, as well as spiders, millipedes, centipedes, and snails. Parents feed their nestlings almost exclusively animal matter. During winter, White-throated Sparrows readily visit bird feeders for millet and black oil sunflower seeds. In spring they eat the tender buds, blossoms, and young seeds of oak, apple, maple, beech, and elm. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/White-throated_Sparrow/lifehistory )

 

 

Do Whatever Floats Your Boat… As Long As It Doesn’t Sink Mine.

F/5.6, 1/200, ISO 100.

California Sea Lion

A man walks into a bar where the only other occupant is a seal.
he orders a beer and hears the seal say “I like your tie.” confused the man ignores the seal.
But every few minutes the seal calls out another complement.
When the bartender comes the man asks “what’s with the mammal?”
to that the bartender replies “oh that is our seal of approval”

Interesting Fact: California sea lions may hunt continuously for up to 30 hours, with each dive lasting three to five minutes. ( http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/california-sea-lion/ )

Of Course I See My Shadow With All The Camera Flashes

Six More Weeks Of Winter

groundhog-woodchuck

F/5.6, 1/160, ISO 125.

Groundhog (Woodchuck)

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I’ll bet you don’t know what day this is?”

“Of course I do,” he answered as if he was offended, and left for
the office.

The doorbell rang at 10 a. m., and when the wife opened the door, she was handed a box of a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1: 00 p. m., a foil-wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite chocolates was delivered.

Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn’t wait for her husband to come home.

“First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!” she exclaimed.

“I’ve never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!”

Interesting Fact: Groundhog burrows are known to have been responsible for uncovering a historic village in central Ohio – now a famous archeological site. ( http://www.havahart.com/groundhog-facts )

I’m So Tired All The Time… I’ve Got Too Many Feeders On My Plate.

annas-hummingbird

F/5.6, 1/80, ISO 200.

Anna’s Hummingbird

Why did the computer break up with the internet?

There was no “Connection”.

Interesting Fact:  The dive display of the Anna’s Hummingbird lasts about 12 seconds, and the male may fly to a height of 40 m (131 feet) during the display. He starts by hovering two to four meters (6-13 feet) in front of the display object (hummingbird or person), and then climbs in a wavering fashion straight up. He plummets in a near-vertical dive from the top of the climb and ends with an explosive squeak within half a meter of the display object. He then makes a circular arc back to the point where he began. On sunny days the dives are oriented so that the sun is reflected from the iridescent throat and crown directly at the object of the dive. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Annas_Hummingbird/lifehistory )

What Would You Like For Christmas?

F/5.6, 1/100, ISO 320.

Happy Christmas Eve Everyone

Santa Claus

What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?

A rebel without a Claus!

Interesting Fact: Santa Claus is generally depicted as a portly, jolly, white-bearded man—sometimes with spectacles—wearing a red coat with white fur collar and cuffs, white-fur-cuffed red trousers, red hat with white fur, and black leather belt and boots and carrying a bag full of gifts for children. This image became popular in the United States and Canada in the 19th century due to the significant influence of the 1823 poem “A Visit from St. Nicholas” and of caricaturist and political cartoonist Thomas Nast.[2][3][4] This image has been maintained and reinforced through song, radio, television, children’s books, films, and advertising.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus )

 

I Had Food Last Night And I Forgot The Rest!

F/6.3, 1/800, ISO 160.

Greylag goose

Why did the nurse go to art school?

To learn how to draw blood!

Interesting Fact: Greylag geese tend to pair bond in long-term monogamous relationships.[20] Most such pairs are probably life-long partnerships, though 5 to 8% of the pairs divorce and re-mate.[20] Birds in heterosexual pairs may engage in promiscuous behavior, despite the opposition of their mates. ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greylag_goose# )

 

 

 

I Forgot My Swimsuit!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 200.

Horned Grebe

What do you get when you’re on you hands and knees?

You get very dirty.

Interesting Fact: A sleeping or resting Horned Grebe puts its neck on its back with its head off to one side and facing forward. It keeps one foot tucked up under a wing and uses the other one to maneuver in the water. Having one foot up under a wing makes it float with one “high” side and one “low” side. (