I Love Escorting People… I Put An Ad Out For An Escort Service And Got A LOT Of Responses. Mostly Creeps. Made A Few Friends.


F/10.0, 1/1600, ISO 800.

Common Merganser

A police officer was escorting a prisoner to jail when his hat blew off.

“Shall I run and get it for you?” asked the prisoner obligingly.

“Do you think I am a fool” said the officer.

“You stand here and I’ll get it.”

Interesting Fact: The oldest Common Merganser on record was a female, and at least 13 years, 5 months old. She was banded in Oklahoma in 1938 and found in Wisconsin in 1950. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )


When you are with the right person, every day is Valentine’s Day!

Happy Valentines Day

F/5.6, 1/1600, ISO 400.

Mute Swan

What’s the best part about Valentines Day?

The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.

Interesting Fact:  The Mute Swan is reported to mate for life. However, changing of mates does occur infrequently, and swans will remate if their partner dies. If a male loses his mate and pairs with a young female, she joins him on his territory. If he mates with an older female, they go to hers. If a female loses her mate, she remates quickly and usually chooses a younger male.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

I Dont Give A DUCK!

F/5.6, 1/1600, ISO 400.

Common Merganser ( Female )

Tom and Bob are talking:

Tom: “I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army.”

Bob: “And…”

Tom: “I had to pay $1000 to cover the loss. I’m starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship. ”

Interesting Fact: Often when one bird dives in a large group, the others follow the leader and disappear. They can stay under for up to 2 minutes, but they normally dive for less than 30 seconds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )

Snow Way You’ve Got To Be Flaking Me!

F/5.6, 1/1600, ISO 400.

Mute Swan

Why was the snowman sad?

Cause he had a meltdown.

Interesting Fact: Male Mute Swans select the nest site and may start several nests before the female accepts the location. Nest sites are safe from flooding yet offer easy access to water, with ample nesting materials and food nearby–often on a small peninsula, along a heavily vegetated shoreline, or on a small to medium-sized island.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )




Come Swim With Me!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 250.

Horned Grebe

What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?


Interesting Fact:  Like most grebes, the small chicks of the Horned Grebe frequently ride on the backs of their swimming parents. The young ride between the wings on the parent’s back, and may even go underwater with them during dives. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Horned_Grebe/lifehistory )

Just Smile And Wave!

F/5.6, 1/320, ISO 100.

California Sea Lion 

Why do sea lions go to Tupperware parties?

To find a tight seal!

Interesting Fact: When diving deep, California sea lions slow their heart rates to allow them to remain underwater for nearly ten minutes before surfacing to breathe. This ability gives them an edge in the pursuit of the fish, squid, and shellfish that make up their primary diet. ( http://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/c/california-sea-lion/ )

We Are Not Short, We Are Just More Down To Earth Than Other Birds.

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 320.

Least Sandpiper

A termite walks into a bar and says, “Where is the bar tender?”

Interesting Fact: The Least Sandpiper is the smallest shorebird in the world, weighing in at about 1 ounce and measuring 5-6 inches long. Males are slightly smaller than females. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Least_Sandpiper/lifehistory )

I Think We’re Going To Need A Bigger Rock!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 200.

American Black Ducks ( Juveniles )

Why can’t you trust an atom?

Because they make up everything.

Interesting Fact:  Normally found in eastern North America, American Black Ducks occasionally show up on the West Coast, Europe, and even Asia. Some of these birds may be escaped pets, but others are known to be wild ducks: for instance, one female banded in New Brunswick, Canada, turned up later in France. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Black_Duck/lifehistory )


Don’t Just Stand There, Summer Is Here!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 200.

Greater Yellowlegs

What did the pig say on a hot summer day?

I’m bacon!

Interesting Fact:  Greater Yellowlegs eats small aquatic and terrestrial invertebrates, small fish, frogs, and occasionally seeds and berries. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Greater_Yellowlegs/lifehistory )


Little Duckies Need Some Snackies

F/5.6, 1/160, ISO 100.

Mallard Female with Ducklings

Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A taxi driver.

Interesting Fact:  The female forms a shallow depression or bowl on the ground in moist earth. She does not carry material to the nest but rather pulls vegetation she can reach toward her while sitting on nest. During egg-laying phase, she lines the nest with grasses, leaves, and twigs from nearby. She also pulls tall vegetation over to conceal herself and her nest. After incubation begins, she plucks down feathers from her breast to line the nest and cover her eggs. The finished nest is about a foot across, with a bowl for the eggs that is 1–6 inches deep and 6–9 inches across. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )