I Have A Funny Feeling It’s Going To Be One Of Those Days!

F/5.6, 1/125, ISO 250.

Black Vulture

A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster. As soon as he brings him home, the
young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmers hens. The farmer is impressed.
At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer is not just impressed anymore,he is worried. Next morning,not only is the rooster screwin…g the hens but he is screwing the turkeys,ducks even the cow.
Later farmer looks out into the barnyard and finds the rooster stretched out, limp as a rag, his eyes closed, dead and vultures circling overhead.
The farmer runs out, looks down at the young roosters limp body and says: “You deserved it, you horny bastard!”
And the young rooster opens one eye, points up at the vultures with his wing, and says, Shhhh!,they are about to land.”

Interesting Fact: One-on-one at a carcass, Black Vultures lose out to the slightly larger Turkey Vulture. But flocks of Black Vultures can quickly take over a carcass and drive the more solitary Turkey Vultures away. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black_Vulture/lifehistory )

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Come Out Come Out Wherever You Are?!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 400.

Red-tailed Hawk

Which runs faster, hot or cold?

HOT. Everyone can catch cold.

Interesting Fact: Red-tailed Hawks are large, sharp-taloned birds that can be aggressive when defending nests or territories. They frequently chase off other hawks, eagles, and Great Horned Owls. Courting birds fly with legs hanging beneath them, or chase and swoop after each other, sometimes locking talons. Mated pairs typically stay together until one of the pair dies. ( https://throughopenlens.com/tag/red-tailed-hawk/ )

Lifeguards Are On Duty, Try Not To Die!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 200.

Turkey Vultures

What did the hot dog say after the race?

I’m a winer!

Interesting Fact: Turkey Vultures eat carrion, which they find largely by their excellent sense of smell. Mostly they eat mammals but are not above snacking on reptiles, other birds, amphibians, fish, and even invertebrates. They prefer freshly dead animals, but often have to wait for their meal to soften in order to pierce the skin. They are deft foragers, targeting the softest bits first and are even known to leave aside the scent glands of dead skunks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Turkey_Vulture/lifehistory )

To Be Honest I’m Just Winging It!

F/6.3, 1/2000, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

What does a teddy bear say when you offer it a sandwich?

“No thanks, I’m stuffed”

Interesting Fact: Red-tailed Hawks mated pairs typically stay together until one of the pair dies. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )

I Rule The SKY!

F/6.3, 1/640, ISO 100.

Red-tailed Hawk

Why did the witches’ team lose the baseball game?

Their bats flew away.

Interesting Fact: Red-tailed Hawks typically put their nests in the crowns of tall trees where they have a commanding view of the landscape. They may also nest on a cliff ledge or on artificial structures such as window ledges and billboard platforms. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )

Gone Fishing!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 125.

Osprey

What did the fish say when he posted bail?

“I’m off the hook!”

Interesting Fact:  The Osprey is the only hawk on the continent that eats almost exclusively live fish. In North America, more than 80 species of live fresh- and saltwater fish account for 99 percent of the Osprey’s diet. Captured fish usually measure about 6–13 inches in length and weigh one-third to two-thirds of a pound. The largest catch on record weighed about 2.5 pounds.  (  https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Osprey/lifehistory )

I’m Super Fly!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 320.

Northern Harrier

What did one toilet roll say to the other toilet roll? 

“People keep on ripping me off!”

Interesting Fact: Male Northern Harriers can have as many as five mates at once, though most have only one or two. The male provides most of the food for his mates and their offspring, while the females incubate the eggs and brood the chicks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Harrier/overview )

 

Chillin’ Like A Villain!

F/8.0, 1/250. ISO 1000.

Bold Eagle

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he neverlands.

Interesting Fact: Bald Eagles nest in trees except in regions where only cliff faces or ground sites are available. They tend to use tall, sturdy conifers that protrude above the forest canopy, providing easy flight access and good visibility. In southern parts of their range, Bald Eagles may nest in deciduous trees, mangroves, and cactus. It’s unknown whether the male or the female takes the lead in selecting a nest site. Nests are typically built near the trunk, high up in the tree but below the crown (unlike Osprey nests). ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle/lifehistory )

Why You All Up In My Business!

osprey

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO200.

Osprey

What does the man in the moon do when his hair gets too long?

Eclipse it!

Interesting Fact: Ospreys hunt by diving to the water’s surface from some 30 to 100 feet (9 to 30 meters) up. They have gripping pads on their feet to help them pluck fish from the water with their curved claws and carry them for great distances. In flight, ospreys will orient the fish headfirst to ease wind resistance. ( https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/birds/o/osprey/ )

That Hawkward Moment!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 400.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants.”

The pirate says, “Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts.”

Interesting Fact: ed-tailed Hawks typically put their nests in the crowns of tall trees where they have a commanding view of the landscape. They may also nest on a cliff ledge or on artificial structures such as window ledges and billboard platforms. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )