I’m So High!

F/6.3, 1/2500, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.

“What’s wrong, dearest?” asked the confused husband.

“Oh darling,” sobbed the wife,

“I was cleaning little Jen’s room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?”

“Well,” replied the man, “I guess a spanking is out of the question?”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known wild Red-tailed Hawk was at least 30 years, 8 months old when it was found in Michigan in 2011, the same state where it had been banded in 1981. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/overview )

Be Bold, Be Brave Enough To Be Your True Self!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 1250.

Bald Eagles

What falls but never gets hurt?

The rain!

Interesting Fact: Bald Eagles occasionally hunt cooperatively, with one individual flushing prey towards another. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle )

Come At Me Bro!

F/9.0,  1/320, ISO 320.

Cooper’s Hawk

What did the tree say to spring?

What a re-leaf.

Interesting Fact: Dashing through vegetation to catch birds is a dangerous lifestyle. In a study of more than 300 Cooper’s Hawk skeletons, 23 percent showed old, healed-over fractures in the bones of the chest, especially of the furcula, or wishbone. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Coopers_Hawk )

I’m So Fly!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Northern Harrier

A camel meets an elephant.

The elephant asks jokingly: “Why do you have two breasts on your back?”

The camel replies: “With a face like yours, I’d just shut up.”

Interesting Fact: Northern Harriers are the most owl-like of hawks (though they’re not related to owls). They rely on hearing as well as vision to capture prey. The disk-shaped face looks and functions much like an owl’s, with stiff facial feathers helping to direct sound to the ears. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Harrier

Wazzaap!

F/6.3, 1/145, ISO640.

Turkey Vulture ( Juvenile )

Why are hairdressers never late for work?

Because they know all the short cuts!

Interesting Fact: Outside of the breeding season, Turkey Vultures form roosts of dozens to a hundred individuals. When Turkey Vultures court, pairs perform a “follow flight” display where one bird leads the other through twisting, turning, and flapping flights for a minute or so, repeated over periods as long as 3 hours. Migrating flocks can number in the thousands. At carcasses, several Turkey Vultures may gather but typically only one feeds at a time, chasing the others off and making them wait their turn. Despite their size, Turkey Vultures are often driven off by smaller Black Vultures, Crested Caracaras, Zone-tailed Hawks, and other species. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Turkey_Vulture/lifehistory )

I Am On A Seafood Diet. I See Food, And I Eat It.

F/ 6.3, 1/80, ISO 640.

Turkey Vulture

Two vultures are in a field, eating a dead clown.

One vulture says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”

Interesting Fact:  Turkey Vultures nest in rock crevices, caves, ledges, thickets, mammal burrows and hollow logs, fallen trees, abandoned hawk or heron nests, and abandoned buildings. These nest sites are typically much cooler (by 13°F or more) than surroundings, and isolated from human traffic or disturbance. While they often feed near humans, Turkey Vultures prefer to nest far away from civilization. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Turkey_Vulture/lifehistory )

Patience Is Not The Ability To Wait But How You Act While You’re Waiting

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 400.

Black Vulture

Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?

Because she will Let it go.

Interesting Fact: Black Vultures lack a voice box and so their vocal abilities are limited to making raspy hisses and grunts. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black_Vulture/lifehistory )

Don’t Make Me Walk When I Want To Fly!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 250.

Red-tailed Hawk

How do trees access the internet?

They log in.

Interesting Fact: Red-tailed Hawks occupy just about every type of open habitat on the continent. This includes desert, scrublands, grasslands, roadsides, fields and pastures, parks, broken woodland, and (in Mexico) tropical rainforest. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )

Flying High, High, I’m The Bird In The Sky!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 250.

Osprey

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?

Dam!

Interesting Fact: Ospreys are unusual among hawks in possessing a reversible outer toe that allows them to grasp with two toes in front and two behind. Barbed pads on the soles of the birds’ feet help them grip slippery fish. When flying with prey, an Osprey lines up its catch head first for less wind resistance.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Osprey/lifehistory )

I May Look Calm, But In My Head I’ve Killed You 3 Times.

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 200.

Osprey

What do lawyers wear to court?

Lawsuits!

Interesting Fact: The Osprey readily builds its nest on manmade structures, such as telephone poles, channel markers, duck blinds, and nest platforms designed especially for it. Such platforms have become an important tool in reestablishing Ospreys in areas where they had disappeared. In some areas nests are placed almost exclusively on artificial structures. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Osprey/lifehistory )