Here’s Looking At You, Kid

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

Interesting Fact: Birds are amazingly adapted for life in the air. The Red-tailed Hawk is one of the largest birds you’ll see in North America, yet even the biggest females weigh in at only about 3 pounds. A similar-sized small dog might weigh 10 times that. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )

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Whatchoo Wanna Do Tonight?!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 280

Turkey Vulture

Why do birds fly south in the fall?

Because it’s too far to walk.

Interesting Fact: The Turkey Vulture’s distinctive slow, teetering flight style probably helps the bird soar at low altitudes, where it is best able to use its nose to find carrion. At other times they may soar high on thermals and form mixed flocks or kettles. On the ground they move with ungainly hops and are less agile than Black Vultures. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Turkey_Vulture/lifehistory )

You Give Me The Chills!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 160.

Red-tailed Hawk

Two snakes are talking.

One of them turns to the other and asks, “Are we venomous?”

The other replays, “Yes,why?…”

“I just bit ma lip.”

Interesting Fact: Red-tailed Hawks typically put their nests in the crowns of tall trees where they have a commanding view of the landscape. They may also nest on a cliff ledge or on artificial structures such as window ledges and billboard platforms. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory

Wazzaap!

F/6.3, 1/145, ISO640.

Turkey Vulture ( Juvenile )

Why are hairdressers never late for work?

Because they know all the short cuts!

Interesting Fact: Outside of the breeding season, Turkey Vultures form roosts of dozens to a hundred individuals. When Turkey Vultures court, pairs perform a “follow flight” display where one bird leads the other through twisting, turning, and flapping flights for a minute or so, repeated over periods as long as 3 hours. Migrating flocks can number in the thousands. At carcasses, several Turkey Vultures may gather but typically only one feeds at a time, chasing the others off and making them wait their turn. Despite their size, Turkey Vultures are often driven off by smaller Black Vultures, Crested Caracaras, Zone-tailed Hawks, and other species. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Turkey_Vulture/lifehistory )

I Am On A Seafood Diet. I See Food, And I Eat It.

F/ 6.3, 1/80, ISO 640.

Turkey Vulture

Two vultures are in a field, eating a dead clown.

One vulture says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”

Interesting Fact:  Turkey Vultures nest in rock crevices, caves, ledges, thickets, mammal burrows and hollow logs, fallen trees, abandoned hawk or heron nests, and abandoned buildings. These nest sites are typically much cooler (by 13°F or more) than surroundings, and isolated from human traffic or disturbance. While they often feed near humans, Turkey Vultures prefer to nest far away from civilization. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Turkey_Vulture/lifehistory )

I’m So High!

F/6.3, 1/2500, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.

“What’s wrong, dearest?” asked the confused husband.

“Oh darling,” sobbed the wife,

“I was cleaning little Jen’s room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?”

“Well,” replied the man, “I guess a spanking is out of the question?”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known wild Red-tailed Hawk was at least 30 years, 8 months old when it was found in Michigan in 2011, the same state where it had been banded in 1981. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/overview )

The Key To Eating Healthy Is To Avoid Any Food That Has TV Commercial.

F/6.0, 1/125, ISO 640.

Golden Eagle

What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?

Swimming trunks.

Interesting Fact: Although capable of killing large prey such as cranes, wild ungulates, and domestic livestock, the Golden Eagle subsists primarily on rabbits, hares, ground squirrels, and prairie dogs. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Golden_Eagle/overview )

I Belong In The Air

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 1250

Bald Eagle

Did you hear the joke about the roof?

Never mind, it’s over your head!

Interesting Fact: The Bald Eagle has been the national emblem of the United States since 1782 and a spiritual symbol for native people for far longer than that. These regal birds aren’t really bald, but their white-feathered heads gleam in contrast to their chocolate-brown body and wings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle )

Good Things Come To Those Who Bait.

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 125.

Osprey

In class:

Math Teacher: “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?”

Student: “A drinking problem.”

Interesting Fact: Osprey eggs do not hatch all at once. Rather, the first chick emerges up to five days before the last one. The older hatchling dominates its younger siblings, and can monopolize the food brought by the parents. If food is abundant, chicks share meals in relative harmony; in times of scarcity, younger ones may starve to death. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Osprey )

Be Bold, Be Brave Enough To Be Your True Self!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 1250.

Bald Eagles

What falls but never gets hurt?

The rain!

Interesting Fact: Bald Eagles occasionally hunt cooperatively, with one individual flushing prey towards another. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle )