Have You Seen This Turkey? Last Seen Escaping Through The Kitchen Window.

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Wild Turkey

Why did they let the turkey join the band?

Because he had the drumsticks

Interesting Fact: As Wild Turkey numbers dwindled through the early twentieth century, people began to look for ways to reintroduce this valuable game bird. Initially they tried releasing farm turkeys into the wild but those birds didn’t survive. In the 1940s, people began catching wild birds and transporting them to other areas. Such transplantations allowed Wild Turkeys to spread to all of the lower 48 states (plus Hawaii) and parts of southern Canada.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wild_Turkey/lifehistory )

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Head Banging Is My Stress Reduction!

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Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker

Why did the police arrest the turkey?

They suspected it of fowl play!

Interesting Fact: Yellow-bellied Sapsuckers have been found drilling sapwells in more than 1,000 species of trees and woody plants, though they have a strong preference for birches and maples. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Yellow-bellied_Sapsucker )

Hey Everybody Come And See How Good I Look!

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Wild Turkey 

What exam do young witches have to pass?

A spell-ing test!

Interesting Fact: Wild Turkeys get around mostly by walking, though they can also run and fly—when threatened, females tend to fly while males tend to run. At sundown turkeys fly into the lower limbs of trees and move upward from limb to limb to a high roost spot. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wild_Turkey/lifehistory )

Whatchoo Wanna Do Tonight?!

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Turkey Vulture

Why do birds fly south in the fall?

Because it’s too far to walk.

Interesting Fact: The Turkey Vulture’s distinctive slow, teetering flight style probably helps the bird soar at low altitudes, where it is best able to use its nose to find carrion. At other times they may soar high on thermals and form mixed flocks or kettles. On the ground they move with ungainly hops and are less agile than Black Vultures. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Turkey_Vulture/lifehistory )

Freeze!

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Dark-eyed Junco

How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?

You wake up wet!

Interesting Fact: Male juncos are very territorial in summer, chasing off intruders in rapid flights accompanied by excited call notes. When males court females, they fan or flick open their wings and tail, hop up and down, and pick up pieces of nest material or moss; females seem to prefer males that show more white in the tail. During winter, Dark-eyed Juncos form fairly large flocks, and where wintering ranges overlap you may find several subspecies in a single flock. Juncos also forage with other sparrows and bluebirds. Junco flocks typically have a hierarchy or pecking order, and earlier arrivals tend to rank higher in the group than later arrivals. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Dark-eyed_Junco/lifehistory )

Simon Sez Stand On One Leg!

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Heermann’s Gull

How do you communicate with a fish?

Drop him a line!

Interesting Fact: The Heermann’s Gull is the only North American gull that breeds south of the United States and comes north to spend the nonbreeding season. After breeding is over in July, the gull quickly comes north all the way to southern Canada. It heads back southward by December, and most breeders are at the breeding islands by March. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Heermanns_Gull/lifehistory )

Don’t Forget To Duck!

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Hooded Merganser

What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me.

Interesting Fact: On the bird family tree, Hooded Mergansers (genus Lophodytes) lie between goldeneyes (Bucephala) and the other North American mergansers (Mergus). They share many courtship behaviors and calls with both of those groups. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/lifehistory )

Well I’m going down, down, down, down, down, down.

mallard-landing

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Mallard  

A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.

The bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve food.”

Interesting Fact:  The Mallard is the ancestor of nearly all domestic duck breeds (everything except the Muscovy Duck). Domestic ducks can be common in city ponds and can be confusing to identify—they may lack the white neck ring, show white on the chest, be all dark, or show oddly shaped crests on the head. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

OWL Get You!

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Short Eared Owl

When does a Owl go “mooooo”?

When it is learning a new language!

Interesting Fact: As suggested by their wide global distribution, Short-eared Owls can travel long distances over vast expanses of ocean. Witnesses have reported seeing these owls descending on ships hundreds of miles from land.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/short-eared_owl/lifehistory )

Be Someone’s Sunshine Today!

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Bayonne Sunset

What is the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?

Pumpkin Pi

Interesting Fact: The Sun accounts for 99.86% of the mass in the solar system. It has a mass of around 330,000 times that of Earth. It is three quarters hydrogen and most of its remaining mass is helium.https://theplanets.org/the-sun/ )