Headbanger!

F/6.3, 1/100, ISO 320.

Pileated Woodpecker

Two men visit a prostitute.

The first man goes into the bedroom. He comes out ten minutes later and says, “Heck. My wife is better than that.”

The second man goes in. He comes out ten minutes later and says, “You know? Your wife IS better.”

Interesting Fact: The Pileated Woodpecker prefers large trees for nesting. In young forests, it will use any large trees remaining from before the forest was cut. Because these trees are larger than the rest of the forest, they present a lightning hazard to the nesting birds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Pileated_Woodpecker  )

I Might Be Too Punk Rock For You.

F/ 7.1, 1/200, ISO 1600.

Pileated Woodpecker 

When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you’re a mouse.

Interesting Fact: When hammering into this soft wood, Pileated Woodpeckers use their long necks to pull far back from the tree, then make powerful strikes with their heavy bills, pulling with their feet to increase the strength of the blow. The sound is often audible as a heavy thunk, and large chips of wood collect on the ground below. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Pileated_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

This Tree Taste Really Weird To Me?!

F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 320.

Pileated Woodpecker

Why did the belt go to jail?

Because it held up a pair of pants!

Interesting Fact: The Pileated Woodpecker digs characteristically rectangular holes in trees to find ants. These excavations can be so broad and deep that they can cause small trees to break in half. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Pileated_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

Peck Like There Is No Tomorrow!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 400.

Pileated Woodpecker 

Why do mummies make great spies?

They’re good at keeping things under wraps.

Interesting Fact: Pileated Woodpeckers forage in large, dead wood—standing dead trees, stumps, or logs lying on the forest floor. They make impressive rectangular excavations that can be a foot or more long and go deep inside the wood. These holes pursue the tunnels of carpenter ants, the woodpecker’s primary food. The birds also use their long, barbed tongues to extract woodboring beetle larvae (which can be more than an inch long) or termites lying deep in the wood. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Pileated_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

You Are Full Of It!

F/6.3, 1/250, ISO 1600.

Ring-Necked Pheasant

How do snowmen get around?

They ride an icicle!

Interesting Fact: Male Ring-necked Pheasants may harass other ground-nesting birds, such as the Gray Partridge and the Greater Prairie-Chicken. Female pheasants sometimes lay their own eggs in these birds’ nests. This may explain why some male pheasants have been seen chasing away male prairie-chickens and courting females—the pheasants may have been raised in prairie-chicken nests and imprinted on the wrong species. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-necked_Pheasant# )

So Cold Outside I Just Farted Snowflakes!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 640.

Carolina Wren

Those, who go to sleep late, are called owls.
Those, who wake up early, are called larks.
And those, who go to  sleep late and wake up early, are called Angry Birds.

Interesting Fact: The Carolina Wren is sensitive to cold weather, with the northern populations decreasing markedly after severe winters. The gradually increasing winter temperatures over the last century may have been responsible for the northward range expansion seen in the mid-1900s. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Carolina_Wren/lifehistory )

If You Can’t Reach It You Don’t Need It!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 400.

Pileated Woodpecker

How are a husband and a cat similar when it comes to housework?

They both hide when they see the vacuum cleaner.

Interesting Fact: The feeding excavations of a Pileated Woodpecker are so extensive that they often attract other birds. Other woodpeckers, as well as House Wrens, may come and feed there. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Pileated_Woodpecker )

 

Keep Looking Up That’s The Secret Of Life

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Pileated Woodpecker

What did one eyeball say to the other eyeball?

Between you and me something smells.

Interesting Fact: A Pileated Woodpecker pair stays together on its territory all year round. It will defend the territory in all seasons, but will tolerate new arrivals during the winter. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Pileated_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

I Am As Low As Your Lowrider!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Carolina Wren 

How do you drown a Hipster?

In the mainstream.

Interesting Fact: They are known to build multiple nests to confuse predators. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/677/overview/Carolina_Wren.aspx )

 

Today I Will Be Happier Than A Bird With A French Fry!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 250.

Carolina Wren

What did one plate say to the other?

Dinners on me.

Interesting Fact: Carolina Wrens nest in open cavities 3–6 feet off the ground, in trees, overhangs and stumps. The first nest is sometimes built on vegetation-shaded ground. Near homes, they’re versatile nesters, making use of discarded flowerpots, mailboxes, propane-tank covers, and a variety of other items. Their nests have even been found in old coat pockets and boots. Males often build multiple nests before the pair makes a final selection. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Carolina_Wren/lifehistory )