Do Ants Carry Ten Times Their Own Weight In Emotional Baggage?

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Ant

Why was the baby ant confused?

Because all his uncles were ants.

Interesting Fact: Ants communicate with each other using pheromones, sounds, and touch.[71] The use of pheromones as chemical signals is more developed in ants, such as the red harvester ant, than in other hymenopteran groups. Like other insects, ants perceive smells with their long, thin, and mobile antennae. The paired antennae provide information about the direction and intensity of scents. Since most ants live on the ground, they use the soil surface to leave pheromone trails that may be followed by other ants. In species that forage in groups, a forager that finds food marks a trail on the way back to the colony; this trail is followed by other ants, these ants then reinforce the trail when they head back with food to the colony. When the food source is exhausted, no new trails are marked by returning ants and the scent slowly dissipates. This behaviour helps ants deal with changes in their environment. For instance, when an established path to a food source is blocked by an obstacle, the foragers leave the path to explore new routes. If an ant is successful, it leaves a new trail marking the shortest route on its return. Successful trails are followed by more ants, reinforcing better routes and gradually identifying the best path. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ant#Behaviour_and_ecology )

 

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Something Is Flickering!

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Northern Flicker

What did the math book say to its therapist?

I’ve got a lot of problems.

Interesting Fact: Northern Flickers usually excavate nest holes in dead or diseased tree trunks or large branches. In northern North America look for nests in trembling aspens, which are susceptible to a heartrot that makes for easy excavation. Unlike many woodpeckers, flickers often reuse cavities that they or another species excavated in a previous year. Nests are generally placed 6-15 feet off the ground, but on rare occasions can be over 100 feet high. Northern Flickers have been known to nest in old burrows of Belted Kingfishers or Bank Swallows. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Flicker/lifehistory )

You Had Me AT Meow!

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Gray Catbird

Why can’t a bicycle stand up on its own? 

Because it’s two tired.

Interesting Fact: Catbirds usually build nests on horizontal branches hidden at the center of dense shrubs, small trees, or in vines, including dogwood, hawthorn, cherry, rose, elderberry, grape, honeysuckle, and blackberry. Nests are typically around 4 feet off the ground, but may be on the ground or as high as 60 feet. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Gray_Catbird/lifehistory )

Chip And Dale!

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Eastern chipmunks

What did the lawyer name his daughter?

Sue.

Interesting Fact: It can climb trees well, but constructs underground nests with extensive tunnel systems, often with several entrances. To hide the construction of its burrow, the eastern chipmunk carries soil to a different location in its cheek pouches. It also lines the burrow with leaves, rocks, sticks, and other material, making it even harder to see. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eastern_chipmunk )

 

Oh Stop, You Making Me Blush!

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House Finch

What did one hat say to another? 

You stay here, I’ll go on a head.

Interesting Fact: House Finches nest in a variety of deciduous and coniferous trees as well as on cactus and rock ledges. They also nest in or on buildings, using sites like vents, ledges, street lamps, ivy, and hanging planters. Occasionally House Finches use the abandoned nests of other birds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/House_Finch/lifehistory )

I’m On A Seafood Diet. I See Food, I Eat It.

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Red-tailed Hawk

What did one elevator say to the other elevator?

I think I’m coming down with something!

Interesting Fact: Mammals make up the bulk of most Red-tailed Hawk meals. Frequent victims include voles, mice, wood rats, rabbits, snowshoe hares, jackrabbits, and ground squirrels. The hawks also eat birds, including pheasants, bobwhite, starlings, and blackbirds; as well as snakes and carrion. Individual prey items can weigh anywhere from less than an ounce to more than 5 pounds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory  )

You Taste Like Sunshine!

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American Goldfinch ( Breeding Female )

What did the banana say to the doctor?

“I’m not peeling well.”

Interesting Fact: Male and female move around together to choose a suitable nest site. The female builds the nest, usually in a shrub or sapling in a fairly open setting rather than in forest interior. The nest is often built high in a shrub, where two or three vertical branches join; usually shaded by clusters of leaves or needles from above, but often open and visible from below. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Goldfinch/lifehistory )

Goodmooning!

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Garden Gnome

One time a man was driving on the road when he got stopped by a gnome with red clothes.

The gnome said” I’m a red gnome and I want a strawberry”. The man gave him a strawberry and went on his business.

Later he got stopped by a gnome with yellow clothes.

The gnome said:” I’m a yellow gnome and I want a banana”. The man, slightly annoyed, gave him a banana and continued to drive.

He then got stopped by a gnome with blue clothes.

The man, now pissed, said to him:” Let me guess, you’re a blue gnome and you want a blueberry”

The blue gnome then said:” sir, please step out of the car”

Interesting Fact: In ancient Rome, small stone statues depicting the Greco-Roman fertility god Priapus, also the protector of floors, were frequently placed in Roman gardens.[1][2][3] Gnomes as magical creatures were first described during the Renaissance period by Swiss alchemist Paracelsus as “diminutive figures two spans in height who did not like to mix with humans”.[4] During this period, stone “grotesques“, which were typically garishly painted, 1-metre-tall (3.3 ft) figurines, were commonly placed in the gardens of the wealthy.[5] Among the figures depicted were gobbi (Italian for hunchbacks). In particular, Jacques Callot produced 21 versions of gobbi, which he engraved and printed in 1616.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden_gnome#History )

I Was Redhead Before It Was Cool!

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Northern Cardinal ( Male ) 

Why did Captain Kirk go in to the ladies room? 

Because he wanted to go where no man had gone before.

Interesting Fact:  The Cardinal nest typically takes 3 to 9 days to build; the finished product is 2-3 inches tall, 4 inches across, with an inner diameter of about 3 inches. Cardinals usually don’t use their nests more than once. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/lifehistory )

Wild Bunch!

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Wild Turkeys

Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

Interesting Fact: The female scratches a shallow depression in the soil, about 1 inch deep, 8–11 inches wide, and 9–13 inches long. Wild Turkeys use only the dead leaves or other plant materials already present at the nest site. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wild_Turkey/lifehistory )