What Does The Fox Say?

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Red Fox

What do you call a fox with a carrot in each ear?

Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

Interesting Fact: Red foxes are solitary hunters who feed on rodents, rabbits, birds, and other small game—but their diet can be as flexible as their home habitat. Foxes will eat fruit and vegetables, fish, frogs, and even worms. If living among humans, foxes will opportunistically dine on garbage and pet food. ( http://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/r/red-fox/ )

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This Is My Good Side

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Northern Flicker

Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?

Because all the fans have left.

Interesting Fact: The Northern Flicker is one of the few North American woodpeckers that is strongly migratory. Flickers in the northern parts of their range move south for the winter, although a few individuals often stay rather far north. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Flicker/lifehistory )

 

 

Something Is Flickering!

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Northern Flicker

What did the math book say to its therapist?

I’ve got a lot of problems.

Interesting Fact: Northern Flickers usually excavate nest holes in dead or diseased tree trunks or large branches. In northern North America look for nests in trembling aspens, which are susceptible to a heartrot that makes for easy excavation. Unlike many woodpeckers, flickers often reuse cavities that they or another species excavated in a previous year. Nests are generally placed 6-15 feet off the ground, but on rare occasions can be over 100 feet high. Northern Flickers have been known to nest in old burrows of Belted Kingfishers or Bank Swallows. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Flicker/lifehistory )

Chip And Dale!

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Eastern chipmunks

What did the lawyer name his daughter?

Sue.

Interesting Fact: It can climb trees well, but constructs underground nests with extensive tunnel systems, often with several entrances. To hide the construction of its burrow, the eastern chipmunk carries soil to a different location in its cheek pouches. It also lines the burrow with leaves, rocks, sticks, and other material, making it even harder to see. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eastern_chipmunk )

 

Goodmooning!

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Garden Gnome

One time a man was driving on the road when he got stopped by a gnome with red clothes.

The gnome said” I’m a red gnome and I want a strawberry”. The man gave him a strawberry and went on his business.

Later he got stopped by a gnome with yellow clothes.

The gnome said:” I’m a yellow gnome and I want a banana”. The man, slightly annoyed, gave him a banana and continued to drive.

He then got stopped by a gnome with blue clothes.

The man, now pissed, said to him:” Let me guess, you’re a blue gnome and you want a blueberry”

The blue gnome then said:” sir, please step out of the car”

Interesting Fact: In ancient Rome, small stone statues depicting the Greco-Roman fertility god Priapus, also the protector of floors, were frequently placed in Roman gardens.[1][2][3] Gnomes as magical creatures were first described during the Renaissance period by Swiss alchemist Paracelsus as “diminutive figures two spans in height who did not like to mix with humans”.[4] During this period, stone “grotesques“, which were typically garishly painted, 1-metre-tall (3.3 ft) figurines, were commonly placed in the gardens of the wealthy.[5] Among the figures depicted were gobbi (Italian for hunchbacks). In particular, Jacques Callot produced 21 versions of gobbi, which he engraved and printed in 1616.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden_gnome#History )

Please Keep Off The Grass!

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Northern Flicker

What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.

Interesting Fact: The red-shafted and yellow-shafted forms of the Northern Flicker formerly were considered different species. The two forms hybridize extensively in a wide zone from Alaska to the panhandle of Texas. A hybrid often has some traits from each of the two forms and some traits that are intermediate between them. The Red-shafted Flicker also hybridizes with the Gilded Flicker, but less frequently. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Flicker )

I Don’t Give A Fox!

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Red Fox

What did one shark say to the other after eating a clown fish?

“Not only does it look funny, but it tastes funny too.”

Interesting Fact: Red foxes live around the world in many diverse habitats including forests, grasslands, mountains, and deserts. They also adapt well to human environments such as farms, suburban areas, and even large communities. The red fox’s resourcefulness has earned it a legendary reputation for intelligence and cunning. ( https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/r/red-fox/ )

Life Is Too Short To Have Boring Hair!

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Polish chicken

What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?

An eggroll!

Interesting Fact: 

The Polish or Poland is a European breed of crested chickens known for its remarkable crest of feathers. The oldest accounts of these birds come from The Netherlands; their exact origins are unknown, however.[1] In addition to combs, they are adorned with large crests that nearly cover the entirety of the head. This crest limits their vision, and as a result can affect their temperament. Thus, though normally tame, they may be timid and easily frightened.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polish_chicken

When Your Past Calls Don’t Answer. It Has Noting New To Say.

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Northern Flicker

What do you call a bear with no socks on?

Bare-foot.

Interesting Fact: Northern Flickers generally nest in holes in trees like other woodpeckers. Occasionally, they’ve been found nesting in old, earthen burrows vacated by Belted Kingfishers or Bank Swallows. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Flicker )

Chill The Fox Out!

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Red Fox

Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory?

He couldn’t concentrate!

Interesting Fact: In winter, foxes meet to mate. The vixen (female) typically gives birth to a litter of 2 to 12 pups. At birth, red foxes are actually brown or gray. A new red coat usually grows in by the end of the first month, but some red foxes are golden, reddish-brown, silver, or even black. Both parents care for their young through the summer before they are able to strike out on their own in the fall. ( https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/r/red-fox/ )