Haters Will See You Walking On Water And Say It Is Because You Can’t Swim

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 250.

Great Egret

Worker calls in to his Boss:

Worker: I can’t come to work today. I’m sick

Boss: Oh yea! What’s wrong with you now?

Worker: I have anal glaucoma.

Boss: What the hell is that?

Worker: I just can’t see my ass working today.

Interesting Fact: Great Egrets fly slowly but powerfully: with just two wingbeats per second their cruising speed is around 25 miles an hour. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/great_egret/lifehistory )

I’m A Duck That Does Not Give A Quack!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 250.

Hooded Merganser ( Female )

2 Guys walking down the street.

One walks into a bar, the other ducks.

Interesting Fact:  The female chooses the nest site, and may start scouting for next year’s tree cavity at the end of each breeding season. Nest cavities can be in live or dead trees and are usually close to water. Cavities are typically 10–50 feet off the ground, up to about 90 feet. Hooded Mergansers nest readily in boxes, preferring those with wood shavings or nest material from previous uses. They prefer cavities with 3–5 inch openings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/overview )

I Always Try To Cheer Myself Up By Singing When I Get Sad. Most Of The Time It Turns Out That My Voice Is Worst Then My Problems.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Red-winged Blackbird

What is the color of the wind?

Blew.

Interesting Fact: Different populations and subspecies of Red-winged Blackbirds vary markedly in size and proportions. An experiment was conducted that moved nestlings between populations and found that the chicks grew up to resemble their foster parents. This study indicated that much of the difference seen between populations is the result of different environments rather than different genetic makeups. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-winged_Blackbird/lifehistory  )

 

 

 

Relax, We’re All Crazy It’s Not A Competition!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Song Sparrow

Where do polar bears vote?

The North Poll.

Interesting Fact: The Song Sparrow is found throughout most of North America, but the birds of different areas can look surprisingly different. Song Sparrows of the Desert Southwest are pale, while those in the Pacific Northwest are dark and heavily streaked. Song Sparrows of Alaska’s Aleutian Islands chain are even darker, and they’re huge: one-third longer than the eastern birds, and weighing twice as much.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Song_Sparrow/lifehistory )

 

A Simple Hello Could Lead To Million Things

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 250.

European Starling

What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can’t tuna fish.

Interesting Fact: Starlings turn from spotted and white to glossy and dark each year without shedding their feathers. The new feathers they grow in fall have bold white tips – that’s what gives them their spots. By spring, these tips have worn away, and the rest of the feather is dark and iridescent brown. It’s an unusual changing act that scientists term “wear molt.” ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/European_Starling/lifehistory )

I Think We Have A Problem!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Snowy Egret

When is a door sweet and tasty?

When its jammed!

Interesting Fact: The male starts working on a nest before finding a mate. Then the female takes over and ends up doing most of the nest building, with materials supplied by the male. The nest is a shallow oval of loosely woven twigs, small sticks, grasses, sedges, rushes, and Spanish moss, about 14–18 inches across and 8–13 inches high. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Snowy_Egret/lifehistory )

Just Sitting Here On The Corner Of Awesome And Bombdiggity.

F/8.0, 1/125, ISO 100.

Peregrine Falcon

Why did Mickey Mouse go to space?

To visit Pluto.

Interesting Fact: The Peregrine Falcon is one of the most widespread birds in the world. It is found on all continents except Antarctica, and on many oceanic islands. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Peregrine_Falcon/lifehistory )

I Think We’re Going To Need A Bigger Rock!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 200.

American Black Ducks ( Juveniles )

Why can’t you trust an atom?

Because they make up everything.

Interesting Fact:  Normally found in eastern North America, American Black Ducks occasionally show up on the West Coast, Europe, and even Asia. Some of these birds may be escaped pets, but others are known to be wild ducks: for instance, one female banded in New Brunswick, Canada, turned up later in France. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Black_Duck/lifehistory )

 

OH SH*T!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Tree Swallow

Why do ghosts ride in elevators?

It keeps their spirits up.

Interesting Fact: They bathe by flying low over the water and skimming their bodies against the surface, then rising quickly while shaking off droplets. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

My Life Feels Like A Test I Didn’t Study For.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Peregrine Falcon

What is the difference between inlaws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted! (or You can shoot outlaws!)

Interesting Fact: When hunting, Peregrines start by watching from a high perch or by flapping slowly or soaring at great height. Stoops begin 300–3,000 feet above their prey and end either by grabbing the prey or by striking it with the feet hard enough to stun or kill it. They then catch the bird and bite through the neck to kill it. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Peregrine_Falcon/lifehistory )