It’s Been A Rough Week So Far… But On Positive Note, I Didn’t Need Any Bail Money And Didn’t Have To Hide Any Bodies!

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Rough-legged Hawk

Daughter: “Mom, where do tampons go?”

Mom: “Where the babies come from, darling.”

Daughter “In the stork?”

Check out this really funny jokes: http://www.short-funny.com/#ixzz5540ew6c6

Interesting Fact: The Rough-legged Hawk’s cliffside nest, a bulky mass of sticks, sometimes contains caribou bones. Nesting pairs need a lot of space: usually only a single pair will nest on a quarter-mile-long cliff. However, the pair may nest within 100 feet of Gyrfalcons, Peregrine Falcons, or Common Ravens. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Rough-legged_Hawk/lifehistory  )

If You Want To Go Running With Me, You’d Better Be Prepared To Walk A Lot.

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Opossums

A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.

Boy: Why do you look so fat?

Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me.

Boy: Is it a good baby?

Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby.

Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

Interesting Fact:  These animals are most famous for “playing possum.” When threatened by dogs, foxes, or bobcats, opossums sometimes flop onto their sides and lie on the ground with their eyes closed or staring fixedly into space. They extend their tongues and generally appear to be dead. This ploy may put a predator off its guard and allow the opossum an opportunity to make its escape. ( https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/group/opossums/ )

If Money Is Made Out Of Paper, Doesn’t That mean money Grows on Trees?

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Brown Creeper

What do you do when two snails have a fight?

Leave them to slug it out!

Interesting Fact: Sometimes creepers build nests in unusual places, such as behind window shutters, in or under roofs, inside fenceposts, or inside concrete blocks. One brought up a family in a specially constructed box made of pieces of Douglas-fir bark. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Creeper/lifehistory )

Got An Itch That I Can’t Reach!

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Mallard

What do you call a duck that steals?

A robber ducky.

Interesting Fact: Mallards nest on the ground on dry land that is close to water; nests are generally concealed under overhanging grass or other vegetation. Occasionally, Mallards nest in agricultural fields, especially alfalfa but also winter wheat, barley, flax, and oats. Both urban and wild populations readily nest in artificial nesting structures. Pairs search for nest sites together, typically on evening flights circling low over the habitat. Occasionally nests are placed on floating mats of vegetation or woven into plant stems that rise out of the water. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

Duck You!

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Harlequin Duck Female

At what time does a duck wake up?

At the quack of dawn.

Interesting Fact:  More than half of eastern North American population of Harlequin Ducks winters in coastal Maine, particularly outer reaches of Penobscot and Jericho bays. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Harlequin_Duck/lifehistory )

Are You Loon-ely Tonight?

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Common Loon ( Nonbreeding adult )

What do Snowmen call their offspring?

Chill-dren.

Interesting Fact: Loons are water birds, only going ashore to mate and incubate eggs. Their legs are placed far back on their bodies, allowing efficient swimming but only awkward movement on land. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Loon/lifehistory )

Muddy Quack!

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Northern Pintail Duck

What day do fish hate?

Fry-day!

Interesting Fact: The Northern Pintail is among the earliest nesting ducks in North America, beginning shortly after ice-out in many northern areas. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Pintail/lifehistory )

Don’t Look Back With Regret, Look Foward With Hope.

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Black-capped Chickadee

What do you call a gorilla wearing ear-muffs?

Anything you like! He can’t hear you!

Interesting Fact: There is a dominance hierarchy within flocks. Some birds are “winter floaters” that don’t belong to a single flock—these individuals may have a different rank within each flock they spend time in. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-capped_Chickadee/lifehistory ) 

It’s The New Year, Get Your Ducks In A Row!

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Ring-necked Ducks

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?

Time to get a new fence!

Interesting Fact: They tend to remain in pairs during the breeding season but group into flocks of several to several thousand during migration and winter. Like many other ducks, the Ring-necked Duck uses many kinds of displays to ward off rivals and to seek mates; almost any group of ducks offers an opportunity to watch these displays at work. When warning away another bird, Ring-necked Ducks lower their bill to meet their chest or push against each other, breast to breast, while swimming. This can intensify to bites and blows with the wings, particularly during the breeding season. When courting, males often throw their head sharply backward, touching the back; swim rapidly while nodding the head; or act as if they are preening their wing. As pairs begin to form, the two birds may perform exaggerated neck stretches or dip their bills in the water as if drinking. Pairs tend to form in spring and stay together at least until incubation begins. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-necked_Duck/lifehistory )

There Have Been Many Times In 2017, When I Have Annoyed You, Distubed You, Irritated You, And Bugged The Hell Out Of You….Today I Just Wanna Tell You I Plan To Continue In 2018!

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Curve-billed Thrasher

How does one snowman greet another snowman?….

Ice to meet you

Interesting Fact: Forages on ground, pokes and probes in plant litter, and digs holes in the soil with its long, down-curved bill. (  https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Curve-billed_Thrasher/lifehistory )