Everything In Your Life Is Reflection Of A Choice You Have Made, If You Want A Difrent Result, Make A Different Choice.

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Mute Swan

A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, “1 enemy ship on the horizont.”

The captain says, “Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die.”

So the watchman comes to him and asks, “Why did you want your red shirt?”

The captain says, “Because if i get injured they won’t see and keep on fighting.”

So the watchman comes to him again and says, “20 enemy ships on the horizont.”

The captain says, “Bring me my brown pants.”

Interesting Fact:  Mute Swans can adapt to degraded habitat and actually benefit from the spread of the invasive common reed Phragmites australis, which flourishes in disturbed sites. As the reeds spread into lakes and ponds, the swans can build nests farther offshore in the reed beds, where they’re safer from egg predators. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

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A Top Of The Tree To You

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Great Blue Heron

A neutron walks into a bar and says,

“I’d like a beer. How much will that be?”

The bartender responds,

“For you? No charge!”

Interesting Fact:  Great Blue Herons congregate at fish hatcheries, creating potential problems for the fish farmers. A study found that herons ate mostly diseased fish that would have died shortly anyway. Sick fish spent more time near the surface of the water where they were more vulnerable to the herons.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )

I Had A Very Unhappy Egghood…

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Brown-headed Cowbird

What did the traffic light say to the car?

Don’t look, I’m changing.

Interesting Fact: Cowbird eggs hatch faster than other species eggs, giving cowbird nestlings a head start in getting food from the parents. Young cowbirds also develop at a faster pace than their nest mates, and they sometimes toss out eggs and young nestlings or smother them in the bottom of the nest. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown-headed_Cowbird/lifehistory )

 

 

 

It’s Better To Swallow Words Than To Have To Eat Them Later

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Tree Swallow

What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?

Flood lights!

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows have helped researchers make major advances in several branches of ecology, and they are among the best-studied bird species in North America. Still, we know little about their lives during migration and winter. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

Do Not Cross Me I Have My Fancy Pants On Today!

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Snowy Egret

What did the triangle say to the circle?

You are pointless!

Interesting Fact: Male Snowy Egrets fight for breeding territories, choose nest sites, and perform noisy courtship displays to attract mates. A ring of other egrets often gathers around a displaying male as he pumps his body up and down, points his bill skyward, and calls. He also performs aerial displays, including one that ends with him dropping toward the ground while tumbling around and around. After pairing up, Snowy Egrets continue defending the immediate area around the nest, raising their crests and giving rasping calls. Some of their nest predators include raccoons, Great Horned Owls, Barred Owls, American Crows, Fish Crows, American alligators, and gray rat snakes. Highly social all year long, Snowy Egrets forage with gulls, terns, ibises, and other herons, and they nest in colonies alongside many other species, including Great Egrets, night-herons, Glossy Ibises, Little Blue Herons, Tricolored Herons, Cattle Egrets, and Roseate Spoonbills. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Snowy_Egret/lifehistory )

Do Ants Carry Ten Times Their Own Weight In Emotional Baggage?

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Ant

Why was the baby ant confused?

Because all his uncles were ants.

Interesting Fact: Ants communicate with each other using pheromones, sounds, and touch.[71] The use of pheromones as chemical signals is more developed in ants, such as the red harvester ant, than in other hymenopteran groups. Like other insects, ants perceive smells with their long, thin, and mobile antennae. The paired antennae provide information about the direction and intensity of scents. Since most ants live on the ground, they use the soil surface to leave pheromone trails that may be followed by other ants. In species that forage in groups, a forager that finds food marks a trail on the way back to the colony; this trail is followed by other ants, these ants then reinforce the trail when they head back with food to the colony. When the food source is exhausted, no new trails are marked by returning ants and the scent slowly dissipates. This behaviour helps ants deal with changes in their environment. For instance, when an established path to a food source is blocked by an obstacle, the foragers leave the path to explore new routes. If an ant is successful, it leaves a new trail marking the shortest route on its return. Successful trails are followed by more ants, reinforcing better routes and gradually identifying the best path. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ant#Behaviour_and_ecology )

 

It’s Electrifyin

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Monk Parakeets

What do you get when you cross a parrot and a centipede?

A walkie-talkie.

Interesting Fact: Monk Parakeets in North America live in urban and suburban environments, especially around city parks. They are one of the few parrot species able to survive temperate-zone winters. In their native range in South America, Monk Parakeets live in dry savannas with scattered woods up to about 6,000 feet elevation.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Monk_Parakeet/lifehistory )

It’s My Honey, And I Want It Now!

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Bumble Bee

What do you call a bee born in May?

A maybe!

Interesting Fact: Unlike the honeybee, bumblebees will not die after stinging. They can sting as much as they want. Luckily, they are not aggressive and they will sting only in self defense. ( http://www.softschools.com/facts/animals/bumblebee_facts/582/ )

Something Is Flickering!

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Northern Flicker

What did the math book say to its therapist?

I’ve got a lot of problems.

Interesting Fact: Northern Flickers usually excavate nest holes in dead or diseased tree trunks or large branches. In northern North America look for nests in trembling aspens, which are susceptible to a heartrot that makes for easy excavation. Unlike many woodpeckers, flickers often reuse cavities that they or another species excavated in a previous year. Nests are generally placed 6-15 feet off the ground, but on rare occasions can be over 100 feet high. Northern Flickers have been known to nest in old burrows of Belted Kingfishers or Bank Swallows. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Flicker/lifehistory )

You Had Me AT Meow!

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Gray Catbird

Why can’t a bicycle stand up on its own? 

Because it’s two tired.

Interesting Fact: Catbirds usually build nests on horizontal branches hidden at the center of dense shrubs, small trees, or in vines, including dogwood, hawthorn, cherry, rose, elderberry, grape, honeysuckle, and blackberry. Nests are typically around 4 feet off the ground, but may be on the ground or as high as 60 feet. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Gray_Catbird/lifehistory )