So Cold Outside I Just Farted Snowflakes!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 640.

Carolina Wren

Those, who go to sleep late, are called owls.
Those, who wake up early, are called larks.
And those, who go to  sleep late and wake up early, are called Angry Birds.

Interesting Fact: The Carolina Wren is sensitive to cold weather, with the northern populations decreasing markedly after severe winters. The gradually increasing winter temperatures over the last century may have been responsible for the northward range expansion seen in the mid-1900s. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Carolina_Wren/lifehistory )

Bald Move To Fly Today.

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Bald Eagle ( Juvenile )

Who won the race between two balls of string?

They we’re tied!

Interesting Facts: Bald Eagles are powerful fliers—soaring, gliding, and flapping over long distances. In one of several spectacular courtship displays, a male and female fly high into the sky, lock talons, and cartwheel downward together, breaking off at the last instant to avoid crashing to earth. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle/lifehistory )

Hey Everybody Come And See How Good I Look!

F/6.3, 1/100, ISO 500.

Wild Turkey 

What exam do young witches have to pass?

A spell-ing test!

Interesting Fact: Wild Turkeys get around mostly by walking, though they can also run and fly—when threatened, females tend to fly while males tend to run. At sundown turkeys fly into the lower limbs of trees and move upward from limb to limb to a high roost spot. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wild_Turkey/lifehistory )

I’m The King Of The World!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 400.

Mallard 

Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Everyone’s spreading it.

Interesting Fact: Mallards are an abundant city and suburban park duck and because of constant feedings by park visitors, they can become very tame and approachable. In more natural settings and where Mallards are heavily hunted, they can be very wary of approaching people. They commonly associate with and may hybridize with other dabbling ducks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

 

Touchdown!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 400.

Ring-billed Gull 

What should you do if you’re afraid of elevators?

Take steps to avoid them.

Interesting Fact: Ring-billed Gulls are strong, graceful flyers. They can race along at more than 40 miles per hour, and they’re adept at snatching food from the air. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-billed_Gull/lifehistory )

Get Ready, Set, Goooooooo!!!!!

F/7.1, 1/160, ISO 500.

Tufted Titmouse 

Why did the artist bring a pencil and paper to a duel?

He wanted to draw his weapon.

Interesting Fact: Tufted Titmice flit from branch to branch of the forest canopy looking for food, often in the company of other species including nuthatches, chickadees, kinglets, and woodpeckers. When they find large seeds, such as the sunflower seeds they take from bird feeders, titmice typically hold the seed with their feet and hammer it open with their beaks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tufted_Titmouse/lifehistory )

 

Cause I’m A Wanderer!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 400. 

White-breasted Nuthatch

What was the murderer’s last request to the priest as he sat in the electric chair?

Will you hold my hand?

Interesting Fact: White-breasted Nuthatches forage up, down, and sideways over tree trunks and around large branches. They often (though not always) start high in trees and move down them head first, pausing to crane their necks up and back, toward the horizontal, for a look around. They probe into bark crevices or chip away at wood to find food. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/White-breasted_Nuthatch/lifehistory )

 

Let’s Go!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 400.

Black-capped Chickadee

Two snakes are talking.

One of them turns to the other and asks, “Are we venomous?”

The other replays, “Yes, why?…”

“I just bit ma lip.”

Interesting Fact: Most birds that associate with chickadee flocks respond to chickadee alarm calls, even when their own species doesn’t have a similar alarm call. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-capped_Chickadee/lifehistory )

I Have A Funny Feeling It’s Going To Be One Of Those Days!

F/5.6, 1/125, ISO 250.

Black Vulture

A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster. As soon as he brings him home, the
young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmers hens. The farmer is impressed.
At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer is not just impressed anymore,he is worried. Next morning,not only is the rooster screwin…g the hens but he is screwing the turkeys,ducks even the cow.
Later farmer looks out into the barnyard and finds the rooster stretched out, limp as a rag, his eyes closed, dead and vultures circling overhead.
The farmer runs out, looks down at the young roosters limp body and says: “You deserved it, you horny bastard!”
And the young rooster opens one eye, points up at the vultures with his wing, and says, Shhhh!,they are about to land.”

Interesting Fact: One-on-one at a carcass, Black Vultures lose out to the slightly larger Turkey Vulture. But flocks of Black Vultures can quickly take over a carcass and drive the more solitary Turkey Vultures away. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black_Vulture/lifehistory )

If You Can’t Reach It You Don’t Need It!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 400.

Pileated Woodpecker

How are a husband and a cat similar when it comes to housework?

They both hide when they see the vacuum cleaner.

Interesting Fact: The feeding excavations of a Pileated Woodpecker are so extensive that they often attract other birds. Other woodpeckers, as well as House Wrens, may come and feed there. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Pileated_Woodpecker )