That Hawkward Moment!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 400.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants.”

The pirate says, “Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts.”

Interesting Fact: ed-tailed Hawks typically put their nests in the crowns of tall trees where they have a commanding view of the landscape. They may also nest on a cliff ledge or on artificial structures such as window ledges and billboard platforms. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )

You Wanna Fly You Got To Give Up The Shit That Weighs You Down.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 640.

Double-crested Cormorant 

How does NASA organize a party?

They planet

Interesting Fact: The male chooses the nest site and then attracts a female. Nests can be on the ground, on rocks or reefs with no vegetation, or atop trees, which may be alive when a cormorant colony first forms but typically die after a few years from the guano build-up. Nests are built in the center of a colony first, then expand outward. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Double-crested_Cormorant/lifehistory )

My New Year’s resolution Is To Stop Hanging Out With People Who Ask Me About My New Years’s Resolutions.

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 320.

Sandhill Crane

What’s the problem with jogging on New Years Eve?

The ice falls out of your drinks!

Interesting Fact: Sandhill Cranes are known for their dancing skills. Courting cranes stretch their wings, pump their heads, bow, and leap into the air in a graceful and energetic dance. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Sandhill_Crane/lifehistory )

Don’t Look Back With Regret, Look Foward With Hope.

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 160.

Black-capped Chickadee

What do you call a gorilla wearing ear-muffs?

Anything you like! He can’t hear you!

Interesting Fact: There is a dominance hierarchy within flocks. Some birds are “winter floaters” that don’t belong to a single flock—these individuals may have a different rank within each flock they spend time in. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-capped_Chickadee/lifehistory

I Can Freeze Time! What’s Your Superpower?

F/5.6, 1/800, ISO 320.

Anna’s Hummingbird ( Female )

Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor.

What did one say to the other?

Dill with it.

Interesting Fact: Hummingbirds have tiny legs and can neither hop nor walk, though they can sort of scoot sideways while perched.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Annas_Hummingbird )

You Just Been Mooned, Now Go Moon Someone Else!

F/6.3, 1/250, ISO 200, CS6.

Lockheed Martin C-130J Super Hercules

Why wasn’t the moon hungry?

Because it was full!

Interesting Fact: The moon rotates at 10 miles per hour compared to the earth’s rotation of 1000 miles per hour. ( http://www.moonconnection.com/moon_facts.phtml )

 

Fly Eagles Fly!!!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320, CS6.

Bald Eagles ( Juveniles )

Why did the football coach shake the vending machine?

I don’t know?

Because he needed a quarter back.

Interesting Fact: Sometimes even the national bird has to cut loose. Bald Eagles have been known to play with plastic bottles and other objects pressed into service as toys. One observer witnessed six Bald Eagles passing sticks to each other in midair. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle/lifehistory

Hold It Until We Find A Clean Car!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 200. 

Brown Pelican

How do you make holy water?

Boil the hell out of it!

Interesting Fact: Though they have an awkward gait on land, Brown Pelicans are strong swimmers and masterful fliers. They fly to and from their fishing grounds in V-formations or lines just above the water’s surface. They and the closely related Peruvian Pelican are the only pelican species to perform spectacular head-first dives (typically ending in a huge splash visible from far away) to trap fish.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Pelican/lifehistory )

Here’s Looking At You, Kid

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

Interesting Fact: Birds are amazingly adapted for life in the air. The Red-tailed Hawk is one of the largest birds you’ll see in North America, yet even the biggest females weigh in at only about 3 pounds. A similar-sized small dog might weigh 10 times that. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )

Your Wings Already Exist All You Have To Do Is Fly

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Great Egret 

Why did the reporter rush into the ice cream shop?

He was looking for a scoop.

Interesting Fact: Not all young that hatch survive the nestling period. Aggression among nestlings is common and large chicks frequently kill their smaller siblings. This behavior, known as siblicide, is not uncommon among birds such as hawks, owls, and herons, and is often a result of poor breeding conditions in a given year. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret/lifehistory )