I Like To Hang Out With People Who Makes Me Forget To Look At My Phone.

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Sandhill Crane

Why was the Police officer standing on poop?

He was On-Duty.

Interesting Fact: Although each female usually lays two eggs, only one nestling typically survives to fledge. Mated pairs and their juvenile offspring stay together all through the winter, until the 9- to 10-month-old juveniles finally separate from their parents the following spring. During migration and winter the family units group together with other families and nonbreeders, forming loose roosting and feeding flocks—in some places numbering in the tens of thousands. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Sandhill_Crane/lifehistory )

 

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Patience, Young Grasshopper.

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Grasshopper

Why don’t some doctors like being on hold?

They don’t have a lot of patients.

Interesting Fact: A large grasshopper, such as a locust, can jump about a metre (twenty body lengths) without using its wings; the acceleration peaks at about 20 g.[26] Grasshoppers jump by extending their large back legs and pushing against the substrate (the ground, a twig, a blade of grass or whatever else they are standing on); the reaction force propels them into the air.[27] They jump for several reasons; to escape from a predator, to launch themselves into flight, or simply to move from place to place. For the escape jump in particular there is strong selective pressure to maximize take-off velocity, since this determines the range. This means that the legs must thrust against the ground with both high force and a high velocity of movement. A fundamental property of muscle is that it cannot contract with high force and high velocity at the same time. Grasshoppers overcome this by using a catapult mechanism to amplify the mechanical power produced by their muscles. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grasshopper )

 

 

Follow The Bunny He Has The Chocolate!

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Desert Cottontail Rabbit

How do you make a bandstand?

Take away their chairs!

Interesting Fact: Habitat loss due to land clearing and cattle grazing may severely affect the population of the desert cottontail.[12] Human-induced fires are also a potential threat for desert cottontail populations.[12] Another factor is its competition with the black-tailed jackrabbit (Lepus californicus), because both have the same diet, and share the same habitat.[24] When a season has been particularly dry, there is less plant life to go around. The cottontail does not fear the jackrabbit, in fact the jackrabbit is very skittish and will retreat from a confrontation in most instances. However, the black-tailed jackrabbit is much bigger, and consumes much more food at eating times. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desert_cottontail

Never Bend Your Head. Always Hold It High. Look The World Straight In The Eye.

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Curve-billed Thrasher

A wife says, “Hey! Look at that funny guy whose been drinking a lot.”

The husband responds, “Who is he?”

The wife answers, “Well, five years ago, he was my boyfriend and I denied him for marriage.”

The husband says, “Oh my God! He’s still celebrating his freedom!”

Interesting Fact: The Curve-billed Thrasher that lives in the Sonoran Desert of Arizona and northwestern Mexico looks different than the form that lives in the Chihuahuan Desert of Texas and central Mexico, and they may be separate species. The Texas and eastern bird has a lighter breast, more contrasting spots, pale wingbars, and white tail corners. The more western form has a grayer breast with less obvious spots, inconspicuous wingbars, and smaller, more grayish tail corners. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Curve-billed_Thrasher/lifehistory )

TAIL Me What You Think?

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Great-tailed Grackle

Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?

Because he thought his wife was a flake

Interesting Fact: In winter, enormous flocks of both male and female Great-tailed Grackles gather in “roost trees.” These winter roosts can contain thousands of individuals, with flocks of up to half a million occurring in sugarcane fields in Texas’s Rio Grande Valley. (  https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great-tailed_Grackle/overview  )

Easter Is The Only Time Of The Year When It’s Perfectly Safe To Put All Your Eggs In One Basket.

Happy Easter Everyone! 

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Desert Cottontail Rabbit

What did the Easter Egg say to the boiling water?

It’s going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!

Interesting Fact:  Many desert animals prey on cottontails, including birds of prey, mustelids, the coyote, the bobcat, the lynx, wolves, mountain lions, snakes, weasels, humans, and even squirrels, should a cottontail be injured or docile from illness.[22] Alien species, such as cats and dogs, are also known predators, and also pose a threat.[12] Southwestern Native Americans hunted them for meat but also used their fur and hides. It is also considered a game species, due to which it is hunted for sport.[12] The desert cottontail’s normal behavior upon spotting a potential predator is to freeze in place in an attempt to avoid being detected. If it determines that it is in danger, it will flee the area by hopping away in a zigzag pattern.[23] Cottontails can reach speeds of over 30 km/h (19 mph). When defending itself against small predators or other desert cottontails, it will nudge with its nose, or slap with its front paws, usually preceded by a hop straight upwards as high as two feet when threatened or taken by surprise. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desert_cottontail )

Don’t Be A Creep!

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Brown Creeper

Past, present and future walk into a bar.

It was tense!

Interesting Fact: The Brown Creeper spends most of its time spiraling up tree trunks in search of insects. It holds its short legs on either side of its body, with the long, curved claws hooking into the bark, and braces itself with its long, stiff tail. Both feet hop at the same time, making the bird’s head duck after each hop. Because of its specialized anatomy, the Brown Creeper rarely climbs downward: once high in a tree, it flies down to begin a new ascent at the base of a nearby tree. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Creeper/lifehistory )

Work, Really? Agian? Didn’t I Just Do That Yesturday?!

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Sandhill Crane

What do Snowmen call their offspring?

Chill-dren.

Interesting Fact: Sandhill Cranes mate for life, choosing their partners based on dancing displays. Displaying birds stretch their wings, pump their heads, bow, and leap into the air.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Sandhill_Crane/lifehistory )

Beep, Beep!

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Greater Roadrunner

Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

Interesting Fact: Roadrunners have evolved a range of adaptations to deal with the extremes of desert living. Like seabirds, they secrete a solution of highly concentrated salt through a gland just in front of each eye, which uses less water than excreting it via their kidneys and urinary tract. Moisture-rich prey including mammals and reptiles supply them otherwise-scarce water in their diet. Both chicks and adults flutter the unfeathered area beneath the chin (gular fluttering) to dissipate heat. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Greater_Roadrunner/overview

But I’m A Creep!

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Brown Creeper

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.

Interesting Fact: Brown Creepers burn an estimated 4–10 calories (technically, kilocalories) per day, a tiny fraction of a human’s daily intake of about 2,000 kilocalories. By eating a single spider, a creeper gains enough energy to climb nearly 200 feet vertically. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Creeper )