Different Osprey In The Sky!

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Bell Boeing V-22 Osprey

What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?

The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says “chew chew chew”.

Interesting Fact:  The Osprey is the world’s first production tiltrotor aircraft, with one three-bladed proprotor, turboprop engine, and transmission nacelle mounted on each wingtip.[98] It is classified as a powered lift aircraft by the Federal Aviation Administration.[99] For takeoff and landing, it typically operates as a helicopter with the nacelles vertical and rotors horizontal. Once airborne, the nacelles rotate forward 90° in as little as 12 seconds for horizontal flight, converting the V-22 to a more fuel-efficient, higher speed turboprop aircraft. STOL rolling-takeoff and landing capability is achieved by having the nacelles tilted forward up to 45°.[100][101] Other orientations are possible.[102] It has a ferry range of over 2,100 nmi. Its operational range is 1,100 nmi. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bell_Boeing_V-22_Osprey#U.S._Marine_Corps )

Fly By!

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Great Egret

Bobby went in to a pet shop.

Bobby: “Can I buy a goldfish?”

The Sales Guy: “Do you want an aquarium?”

Bobby: “I don’t care what star sign it is.”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known Great Egret was 22 years, 10 months old and was banded in Ohio. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret )

We Get Frequent Flyer Points

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Brown Pelicans

What did the bra say to the hat?

You go on a head, and I’ll give these two a lift.

Interesting Fact: During a dive, the Brown Pelican tucks its head and rotates its body to the left. This maneuver is probably to cushion the trachea and esophagus—which are found on the right side of the neck—from the impact. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Pelican )

I Belong In The Air

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Bald Eagle

Did you hear the joke about the roof?

Never mind, it’s over your head!

Interesting Fact: The Bald Eagle has been the national emblem of the United States since 1782 and a spiritual symbol for native people for far longer than that. These regal birds aren’t really bald, but their white-feathered heads gleam in contrast to their chocolate-brown body and wings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle )

Good Things Come To Those Who Bait.

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Osprey

In class:

Math Teacher: “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?”

Student: “A drinking problem.”

Interesting Fact: Osprey eggs do not hatch all at once. Rather, the first chick emerges up to five days before the last one. The older hatchling dominates its younger siblings, and can monopolize the food brought by the parents. If food is abundant, chicks share meals in relative harmony; in times of scarcity, younger ones may starve to death. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Osprey )

Flying Quack!

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Hooded Merganser ( Male ) 

A police officer stops a Bob’s car.

Police Officer: “Your driver’s license please.”

Bob: “I’m really sorry, I forgot.”

Officer: “At home?”

Bob: “No, to do it.”

Interesting Fact:They take flight by running across the water, flying with fast wingbeats and never gliding until they are about to land (by skidding to a stop on the water). ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/lifehistory )  

I’m So High!

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Red-tailed Hawk

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.

“What’s wrong, dearest?” asked the confused husband.

“Oh darling,” sobbed the wife,

“I was cleaning little Jen’s room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?”

“Well,” replied the man, “I guess a spanking is out of the question?”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known wild Red-tailed Hawk was at least 30 years, 8 months old when it was found in Michigan in 2011, the same state where it had been banded in 1981. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/overview )

Together We Fly!

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Mallard

As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field.

But hay, it’s in my jeans.

Interesting Fact: Mallards, like other ducks, shed all their flight feathers at the end of the breeding season and are flightless for 3–4 weeks. They are secretive during this vulnerable time, and their body feathers molt into a concealing “eclipse” plumage that can make them hard to identify. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard )

I Heard Of Skipping Rocks But I Never Seen A Skipping Ducks

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Common Merganser

Did you hear the watermelon joke?

It’s pitful.

Interesting Fact: Common Mergansers spend much of their time afloat, loafing, fishing, and often sleeping on open water. They may form flocks of up to 75 individuals. They often swim in small groups along the shoreline, dipping their heads underwater to search for prey and then diving with a slight leap. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )