Well I’m going down, down, down, down, down, down.

mallard-landing

F/6.0, 1/500, ISO 360.

Mallard  

A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.

The bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve food.”

Interesting Fact:  The Mallard is the ancestor of nearly all domestic duck breeds (everything except the Muscovy Duck). Domestic ducks can be common in city ponds and can be confusing to identify—they may lack the white neck ring, show white on the chest, be all dark, or show oddly shaped crests on the head. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

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OWL Get You!

F/6.3, 1/250, ISO 1600.

Short Eared Owl

When does a Owl go “mooooo”?

When it is learning a new language!

Interesting Fact: As suggested by their wide global distribution, Short-eared Owls can travel long distances over vast expanses of ocean. Witnesses have reported seeing these owls descending on ships hundreds of miles from land.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/short-eared_owl/lifehistory )

You Give Me The Chills!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 160.

Red-tailed Hawk

Two snakes are talking.

One of them turns to the other and asks, “Are we venomous?”

The other replays, “Yes,why?…”

“I just bit ma lip.”

Interesting Fact: Red-tailed Hawks typically put their nests in the crowns of tall trees where they have a commanding view of the landscape. They may also nest on a cliff ledge or on artificial structures such as window ledges and billboard platforms. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory

You Can Stop Driving Me Crazy,I Can Walk From Here!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 200.

Snowy Egret

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”

And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.”

Interesting Fact: During the breeding season, adult Snowy Egrets develop long, wispy feathers on their backs, necks, and heads. In 1886 these plumes were valued at $32 per ounce, which was twice the price of gold at the time. Plume-hunting for the fashion industry killed many Snowy Egrets and other birds until reforms were passed in the early twentieth century. The recovery of shorebird populations through the work of concerned citizens was an early triumph and helped give birth to the conservation movement. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Snowy_Egret )

Just Act Weird It Keeps The Creeps Away!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 200.

Snowy Egret

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

Interesting Fact: Adult Snowy Egrets have greenish-yellow feet for most of the year, but at the height of the breeding season their feet take on a much richer, orange-yellow hue. The bare skin on their face also changes color, from yellow to reddish. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Snowy_Egret )

When Fears Are Grounded Dreams Take Flight

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 320.

Ruby-throated Hummingbird

Where do you learn how to make ice cream?

Sundae School

Interesting Fact: The Ruby-throated Hummingbird beats its wings about 53 times a second. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruby-throated_Hummingbird  )

We Get Frequent Flyer Points

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 200.

Brown Pelicans

What did the bra say to the hat?

You go on a head, and I’ll give these two a lift.

Interesting Fact: During a dive, the Brown Pelican tucks its head and rotates its body to the left. This maneuver is probably to cushion the trachea and esophagus—which are found on the right side of the neck—from the impact. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Pelican )

Different Osprey In The Sky!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 250.

Bell Boeing V-22 Osprey

What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?

The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says “chew chew chew”.

Interesting Fact:  The Osprey is the world’s first production tiltrotor aircraft, with one three-bladed proprotor, turboprop engine, and transmission nacelle mounted on each wingtip.[98] It is classified as a powered lift aircraft by the Federal Aviation Administration.[99] For takeoff and landing, it typically operates as a helicopter with the nacelles vertical and rotors horizontal. Once airborne, the nacelles rotate forward 90° in as little as 12 seconds for horizontal flight, converting the V-22 to a more fuel-efficient, higher speed turboprop aircraft. STOL rolling-takeoff and landing capability is achieved by having the nacelles tilted forward up to 45°.[100][101] Other orientations are possible.[102] It has a ferry range of over 2,100 nmi. Its operational range is 1,100 nmi.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bell_Boeing_V-22_Osprey#U.S._Marine_Corps )

Fly By!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 200.

Great Egret

Bobby went in to a pet shop.

Bobby: “Can I buy a goldfish?”

The Sales Guy: “Do you want an aquarium?”

Bobby: “I don’t care what star sign it is.”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known Great Egret was 22 years, 10 months old and was banded in Ohio. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret )

I’m So High!

F/6.3, 1/2500, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.

“What’s wrong, dearest?” asked the confused husband.

“Oh darling,” sobbed the wife,

“I was cleaning little Jen’s room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?”

“Well,” replied the man, “I guess a spanking is out of the question?”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known wild Red-tailed Hawk was at least 30 years, 8 months old when it was found in Michigan in 2011, the same state where it had been banded in 1981. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/overview )