Sometimes I Get Road Rage From Standing In Lines.

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Semipalmated Sandpipers

Why do ghosts ride in elevators?

It keeps their spirits up.

Interesting Fact: Semipalmated Sandpiper: Breeds in lower Arctic regions from western Alaska to Labrador. Migrates through central North America to the Atlantic coast to reach its wintering grounds, which extend from the extreme southern U.S. to the Caribbean Islands and South America. Preferred habitats include shorelines and mudflats. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/427/overview/Semipalmated_Sandpiper.aspx )

 

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I May Look Like I’m Having Deep Thoughts, But Really I Need To Fart.

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Semipalmated Sandpiper

Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?

Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.

Interesting Fact:  Semipalmated Sandpipers from eastern populations probably undertake nonstop transoceanic flights of 3,000 – 4,000 km (1,900 – 2,500 mi) from New England and southern Canada to South America, powered by extensive fat reserves. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Semipalmated_Sandpiper/lifehistory )

 

Let The Sea Set You Free.

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Common Terns

Why was the math textbook so sad?

He had a lot of problems!

Interesting Fact: The Common Tern is sometimes called the sea swallow. A group of common terns are collectively known as a “committee” of terns. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/mwg/_/0/identify.whatbird.com/obj/465/overview/Common_Tern.aspx )

 

This Is Really Hard To Swallow

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Barn Swallow

Why did the computer break up with the internet?

There was no “Connection”.

Interesting Fact: Long-distance migrant. Barn Swallows fly from North American breeding grounds to wintering areas in Central and South America. Southbound fall migration may begin by late June in Florida or early July in Massachusetts. They return as early as late January in southern California to mid-May at Alaskan breeding sites. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/lifehistory )

Even Though You’re Fed Up. You Gotta Keep Your Head Up.

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Double-crested Cormorant 

What do you call someone without a nose or a body?

Nobodynose.

Interesting Fact: Both Double-crested Cormorant mates work on the nest, with the male bringing most of the material and the female doing the building. The nest is mostly made of finger-size sticks, with some seaweed and flotsam, and lined with grass. Nests are 1.5 to 3 feet in diameter and 4 to 17 inches high; ground nests tend to be wider than tree nests, but tree nests have deeper interiors. Breeding cormorants readily steal nesting materials from a nearby nest that’s not guarded. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Double-crested_Cormorant/lifehistory )

He Tried To Imagine The Sound Of The Color Red

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Scarlet Tanager

What happened when the two antennas got married?

Well, the ceremony was kinda boring, but the reception was great!

Interesting Fact: The female Scarlet Tanager sings a song similar to the male’s, but softer, shorter, and less harsh. She sings in answer to the male’s song and while she is gathering nesting material. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Scarlet_Tanager/overview )

PhotoBomb!

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Black Scoter 

Why did the belt go to jail?

Because it held up a pair of pants!

Interesting Fact:  The Black Scoter is among the most vocal of waterfowl. Groups of Black Scoters often can be located by the constant mellow, plaintive whistling sound of the males.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black_Scoter )

Oh For Fox Sake!

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Red Fox

A chicken and an egg are having sex.

The chicken rolls off the egg and says, “I guess that answers that question.”

Interesting Fact: Foxes also signal each other by making scent posts—urinating on trees or rocks to announce their presence. ( https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/r/red-fox/ )

Quack Like You Mean It!

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Black Scoter

This guy went to school and he asked
“May I use the bathroom?”
The teacher replied, ” no not unless you say your abc’s.”
The guy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”
The teacher asked “Where’s the p?
He replied, ” running down my leg!”

Interesting Fact:  The Black Scoter occasionally does a “Wing-flap” display while swimming, flapping its wings with its body held up out of the water. Unlike other scoters, it almost always punctuates a Wing-flap with a characteristic downward thrust of head, as if its neck were momentarily broken. Surf and White-winged scoters keep their heads and bills pointing more or less above the horizontal throughout a Wing-flap.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black_Scoter/lifehistory )

They Were Born To Fly And Touch The Sky

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Semipalmated Sandpipers

What is a bunny’s favorite music?

Hip-hop.

Interesting Fact: The Semipalmated Sandpiper gets its common name from the short webs between its toes (“palmated” means webbed). The Western Sandpiper is the only other small sandpiper with similarly webbed toes. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Semipalmated_Sandpiper/lifehistory )