Take A Chill Pill!

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Tree Swallow

What do you get when cross a donkey and an onion?

A piece of ass that’ll bring a tear to your eye!

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows line their nests with feathers, and they seem to display or even play with these feathers during the early nesting season. A bird flies above the nest with a feather held in its bill; sometimes this leads to chases, and sometimes the bird drops the feather, causing an aerial free-for-all to see which bird retrieves it. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

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The Truth Is Hard To Swallow When You’re Choking On Your Pride!

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Tree Swallows

What do you call a guy who never farts in public?

A private tutor.

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows have helped researchers make major advances in several branches of ecology, and they are among the best-studied bird species in North America. Still, we know little about their lives during migration and winter. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

Don’t You Think We Should Go Wireless?!

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Barn Swallow

Husband and Wife are having a conversation.

Wife: How many women have u slept with?

Husband: Only you darling, I was awake with the other women.

Interesting Fact: The Barn Swallow is the most abundant and widely distributed swallow species in the world. It breeds throughout the Northern Hemisphere and winters in much of the Southern Hemisphere. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/lifehistory )

 

 

Life Always Offers You A Second Chance. It’s Called Tomorrow.

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Tree Swallow

What did one wall say to the other wall?

Meet you at the corner!

Interesting Fact:  Tree Swallows are highly social, forming large migratory and wintering flocks; and pairs often nest close together, particularly where nest boxes are numerous. Agile fliers, Tree Swallows tend to glide more than any other swallow species. They bathe by flying low over the water and skimming their bodies against the surface, then rising quickly while shaking off droplets. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

It’s Better To Swallow Words Than To Have To Eat Them Later

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Tree Swallow

What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?

Flood lights!

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows have helped researchers make major advances in several branches of ecology, and they are among the best-studied bird species in North America. Still, we know little about their lives during migration and winter. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

This Is Really Hard To Swallow

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Barn Swallow

Why did the computer break up with the internet?

There was no “Connection”.

Interesting Fact: Long-distance migrant. Barn Swallows fly from North American breeding grounds to wintering areas in Central and South America. Southbound fall migration may begin by late June in Florida or early July in Massachusetts. They return as early as late January in southern California to mid-May at Alaskan breeding sites. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/lifehistory )

Do Not Swallow!

Barn Swallow

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Barn Swallow

What did the blanket say to the bed?

Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!

Interesting Fact: According to legend, the Barn Swallow got its forked tail because it stole fire from the gods to bring to people. An angry deity hurled a firebrand at the swallow, singeing away its middle tail feathers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/lifehistory )

No. Stop Don’t SWALLOW That!

Tree Swallow

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Tree Swallow

What do you call a chicken in the 1960’s?

A funky chicken.

Interesting Fact: Migrating and wintering Tree Swallows can form enormous flocks numbering in the hundreds of thousands. They gather about an hour before sunset and form a dense cloud above a roost site (such as a cattail marsh or grove of small trees), swirling around like a living tornado. With each pass, more birds drop down until they are all settled on the roost. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

Kissing Burns 6.4 Calories A Minute Wanna Work Out!

Barn Swallow 1

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 Barn Swallow

Day 198 / 365

If the bird of wisdom is an owl, and the bird of peace is the dove, what is the bird of TRUE love?

Interesting Fact: Barn Swallow parents sometimes get help from other birds to feed their young. These “helpers at the nest” are usually older siblings from previous clutches, but unrelated juveniles may help as well.  ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/lifehistory )

Feed Me Seymour! Feed Me!

Tree Swallow

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Tree Swallow

Day 165 / 365

What did the little bird say to the big bird?

Peck on someone your own size!

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows winter farther north than any other American swallows and return to their nesting grounds long before other swallows come back. They can eat plant foods as well as their normal insect prey, which helps them survive the cold snaps and wintry weather of early spring. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/tree_swallow/lifehistory )