Take A Chill Pill!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Tree Swallow

What do you get when cross a donkey and an onion?

A piece of ass that’ll bring a tear to your eye!

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows line their nests with feathers, and they seem to display or even play with these feathers during the early nesting season. A bird flies above the nest with a feather held in its bill; sometimes this leads to chases, and sometimes the bird drops the feather, causing an aerial free-for-all to see which bird retrieves it. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

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Eat My Bubbles!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Merganser  

Tom and Bobby are talking:

Bobby: “Holy crap, I just fell off a 50 ft ladder.”

Tom: “Oh my God, are you okay?”

Bobby: “Yeah it’s a good thing I fell off the first step.”

Interesting Fact: Its breedinghabitat is freshwater lakes and rivers across northern North America, Greenland, Europe, and Asia. It nests in sheltered locations on the ground near water. It is migratory and many northern breeders winter in coastalwaters further south. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-breasted_merganser#Behaviour )

It Takes Nothing To Join The Crowd. It Takes Everything To Stand Alone.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Killdeer

What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.

Interesting Fact: Gravel rooftops attract Killdeer for nesting, but can be dangerous places to raise a brood. Chicks may be unable to leave a roof because of high parapets and screened drain openings. Adults eventually lure chicks off the roof, which can be dangerous – although one set of chicks survived a leap from a seven-story building. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Killdeer )

The Truth Is Hard To Swallow When You’re Choking On Your Pride!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 250.

Tree Swallows

What do you call a guy who never farts in public?

A private tutor.

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows have helped researchers make major advances in several branches of ecology, and they are among the best-studied bird species in North America. Still, we know little about their lives during migration and winter. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

Hey There Ace!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 220.

Brant Goose

What did the big flower say to the little one?

You’re really growing, bud!

Interesting Fact: The oldest recorded Brant was a female, and was over 27 years, 6 months old. It had been banded in Alaska and was found in Washington. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brant )

Eat Like No One Is Watching You!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Merganser  

Why do bananas use sunscreen?

Because they peel.

Interesting Fact: The red-breasted merganser (Mergus serrator) is a diving duck, one of the sawbills. The genus name is a Latin word used by Pliny and other Roman authors to refer to an unspecified waterbird, and serrator is a sawyer from Latin serra, “saw”.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-breasted_merganser#Behaviour )

I Will, I Will, Quack You!

F/6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.

Canvasback ( Female ) 

Guy in a restaurant calls a waiter over

Guy: “Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup.”

Waiter: “And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?!”

Interesting Fact: The breeding habitat of the canvasback is in North Americaprairie potholes. The bulky nest is built from vegetation in a marsh and lined with down. Loss of nesting habitat has caused populations to decline. The canvasback usually takes a new mate each year, pairing in late winter on ocean bays.[5] It prefers to nest over water on permanent prairie marshes surrounded by emergent vegetation, such as cattails and bulrushes, which provide protective cover. Other important breeding areas are the subarctic river deltas in Saskatchewan and the interior of Alaska. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canvasback )

I Swim Because I Am Too SEXY For A Sport That Requires Clothes

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 250.

Horned Grebe

Little Red Riding Hood walks all alone through the deep dark wood. Suddenly she hears rustling in a thick bush. Cautiously she moves the branches aside and finds herself facing the big bad wolf.

Little Red Riding Hood: “Oh, Big Bad Wolf, why do you have such huge red eyes?”

Big Bad Wolf: “Go away! I’m crapping!”

Interesting Fact: Dives underwater for food, in open water and among aquatic vegetation. Picks insects off water surface. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Horned_Grebe/lifehistory )

Quack Head!

F/6.3, 1/1000, ISO 400.

Bufflehead

Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize.

Interesting Fact: The oldest Bufflehead on record was at least 18 years and 8 months old. It was caught and re-released by a bird bander in New York in 1975. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bufflehead/lifehistory )

.

You Need A Bodyguard To Go Out

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Brant Goose

What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

Interesting Fact: It used to be a strictly coastal bird in winter, seldom leaving tidal estuaries, where it feeds on eel-grass (Zostera marina) and the seaweed, sea lettuce (Ulva). On the east coast of North America, the inclusion of sea lettuce is a recent change to their diet, brought about by a blight on eelgrass in 1931. This resulted in the near-extirpation of the brant. The few that survived changed their diet to include sea lettuce until the eelgrass eventually began to return. Brants have maintained this diet ever since as a survival strategy.[6] In recent decades, it has started using agricultural land a short distance inland, feeding extensively on grass and winter-sown cereals. This may be behavior learned by following other species of geese. Food resource pressure may also be important in forcing this change, as the world population has risen over 10-fold to 400,000-500,000 by the mid-1980s, possibly reaching the carrying capacity of the estuaries. In the breeding season, it uses low-lying wet coastal tundra for both breeding and feeding. The nest is bowl-shaped, lined with grass and down, in an elevated location, often in a small pond. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brant_(goose) )