Duck You Sucker

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 200.

Wood Duck

A really big drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”

“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.

“Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”

Interesting Fact: Wood Ducks seem to fare best when open water alternates with 50–75% vegetative cover that the ducks can hide and forage in. This cover can consist of downed trees, shrubs such as alder, willow, and buttonbush, as well as emergent herbaceous plants such as arrowhead and smartweeds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory )

Flap Your Wings Like You Mean It.

F/13.0, 1/500, ISO 400.

Bufflehead Duck ( Male )

What do you call a belt with a clock on it?

A waist of time.

Interesting Fact: To dive, Bufflehead compress their plumage to squeeze out air, then give a slight forward leap and plunge powerfully downward. They hold their wings tightly against their bodies underwater and use only their feet to propel themselves. ( Bufflehead Life History, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

Do You Feel Ducky, Punk!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 400.

Hooded Merganser Male

Where do you take a sick boat?

To the dock.

Interesting Fact: Unlike dabbling ducks, Hooded Mergansers swim low in the water. Their legs are far back on their bodies, which helps in diving but makes them awkward on land. They take flight by running across the water, flying with fast wingbeats and never gliding until they are about to land (by skidding to a stop on the water). ( Hooded Merganser Life History, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

 

 

50 Shades Of Red In My Eyes

F/ 6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.

Canvasback 

What type of book has only characters and no story?

A telephone book.

Interesting Fact: A large diving duck, the Canvasback breeds in prairie potholes and winters on ocean bays. Its sloping profile distinguishes it from other ducks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canvasback/id )

Double Trouble!

Mute Swan

F/ 5.6, 1/1250, ISO 400.

Mute Swan 

What did the nose say to the finger?

Stop picking on me. 

Interesting Fact: The Mute Swan is reported to mate for life. However, changing of mates does occur infrequently, and swans will remate if their partner dies. If a male loses his mate and pairs with a young female, she joins him on his territory. If he mates with an older female, they go to hers. If a female loses her mate, she remates quickly and usually chooses a younger male.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

I Know You Are Jealous Of My Beak

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 320.

Northern Shoveler ( Female ) 

How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?

You wake up wet!

Interesting Fact: Northern shovelers feed by dabbling for plant food, often by swinging its bill from side to side and using the bill to strain food from the water. They use their highly specialized bill (from which their name is derived) to forage for aquatic invertebrates – a carnivorous diet. Their wide-flat bill is equipped with well-developed lamellae – small, comb-like structures on the edge of the bill that act like sieves, allowing the birds to skim crustaceans and plankton from the water’s surface. This adaptation, more specialized in shovelers, gives them an advantage over other puddle ducks, with which they do not have to compete for food resources during most of the year. Thus, mud-bottomed marshes rich in invertebrate life are their habitat of choices. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northern_shoveler#Behavior )

Dive Dive Dive!!!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 340.

Common Loon ( Nonbreeding adult )

Have you read the book about anti-gravity?

It’s impossible to put down!

Interesting Fact: The Common Loon is flightless for a few weeks after molting all of its wing feathers at the same time in midwinter. ( Common Loon Overview, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

Eat Like No One Is Watching You!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Merganser  

Why do bananas use sunscreen?

Because they peel.

Interesting Fact: The red-breasted merganser (Mergus serrator) is a diving duck, one of the sawbills. The genus name is a Latin word used by Pliny and other Roman authors to refer to an unspecified waterbird, and serrator is a sawyer from Latin serra, “saw”.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-breasted_merganser#Behaviour )

Go Green Or I’ll Scream!

F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 320.

American Wigeon

Why is it hard to play cards in the jungle?

There are too many cheetahs!

Interesting Fact: The American Wigeon was formerly known as “Baldpate” because the white stripe resembled a bald man’s head.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Wigeon/lifehistory )

Better Days Are Coming. They Are Called: Saturday And Sunday!

F/9.0, 1/250, ISO 200.

Common Eider ( Male ) 

How are hockey players like goldfish?

You tap on the glass to get their attention.

Interesting Facts: Common Eiders appear to be monogamous, though males will display to females other than their primary partner. Pairs sometimes reunite in consecutive seasons. During periods of calm weather in autumn, males begin to display, both singly and in groups, tossing their heads, stretching their necks, and flapping their wings while keeping up a soft cooing. Pairs often copulate during fall and winter, well outside of the nesting season. ( Common Eider Life History, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )