Duck You!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 800.

Harlequin Duck Female

At what time does a duck wake up?

At the quack of dawn.

Interesting Fact:  More than half of eastern North American population of Harlequin Ducks winters in coastal Maine, particularly outer reaches of Penobscot and Jericho bays. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Harlequin_Duck/lifehistory )

I’m Not Trying To Impress You Or Anything, But I Can Swim Without Floaties.

western-grebe-1

F/7.1, 1/800, ISO 200.

Western Grebe

A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years.
One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wet suit.
Man: “Hi! Am I ever happy to see you.”!
Girl: “Hi! It seems like you’ve been here along time. How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”
Man: “It’s been ten years!”
With this information the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet suit and gives the man cigarette.
Man: “Oh thank you so much!”
Girl: “So tell me how long its been since you had a drink?”
Man: “It’s been ten years” The girl unzips a little longer zipper on her wet suit and comes out with a flask of whiskey and gives the man a drink.
Man: “Oh. Thank you so much. You are like a miracle”!
Finally the girl starts to unzip the front of her wet suit and asks the man leadingly, “So tell me then, have you been bored?”
The man looked at her and said excitedly: “Oh, my God, don’t tell me you’ve got a surfboard in there too?”

 

Interesting Fact: Western Grebes breed on freshwater lakes and marshes with extensive open water bordered by emergent vegetation. During winter they move to saltwater or brackish bays, estuaries, or sheltered sea coasts and are less frequently found on freshwater lakes or rivers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Western_Grebe/lifehistory )

Catching Some Rays And Then Making Some Waves!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 100.

California Sea Lion

What do you call a seal in the desert?

Lost.

Interesting Fact:  The California sea lion is a sleek animal, faster than any other sea lion or seal. These eared seals top out at speeds of some 25 miles (40 kilometers) an hour. ( http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/california-sea-lion/ )

Watch It! I Am Swimming HERE!

F/ 6.3, 1/160, ISO 200.

Black Scoter 

What did the nose say to the finger?

Stop picking on me.

Interesting Fact:  Birds occasionally do a “wing-flap” display while swimming, flapping their wings with the body held up and punctuating this with a downward thrust of head, as if its neck were momentarily broken. ( https://identify.whatbird.com/obj/298/overview/Black_Scoter.aspx )

Be Someone’s Sunshine Today!

F/8.0, 1/1000, ISO200

Bayonne Sunset

What is the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?

Pumpkin Pi

Interesting Fact: The Sun accounts for 99.86% of the mass in the solar system. It has a mass of around 330,000 times that of Earth. It is three quarters hydrogen and most of its remaining mass is helium.https://theplanets.org/the-sun/ )

Flap Your Wings Like You Mean It.

F/13.0, 1/500, ISO 400.

Bufflehead Duck ( Male )

What do you call a belt with a clock on it?

A waist of time.

Interesting Fact: To dive, Bufflehead compress their plumage to squeeze out air, then give a slight forward leap and plunge powerfully downward. They hold their wings tightly against their bodies underwater and use only their feet to propel themselves. ( Bufflehead Life History, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

50 Shades Of Red In My Eyes

F/ 6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.

Canvasback 

What type of book has only characters and no story?

A telephone book.

Interesting Fact: A large diving duck, the Canvasback breeds in prairie potholes and winters on ocean bays. Its sloping profile distinguishes it from other ducks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canvasback/id )

Psst… You Can’t See Me

atlantic-ghost-crabs

F/8.0, 1/500, ISO 100.

Atlantic Ghost Crab (Sand Crab)

Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco?

He pulled a muscle

Interesting Fact: The strong hairy legs of this animal make it run very fast and achieve speeds of about 10 miles per hour. This makes this crab the fastest among all crustaceans. ( http://www.animalspot.net/ghost-crab-sand-crab.html )

A Good Joke Always Quacks Me Up!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 320.

Bufflehead Duck ( Female )

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.

Interesting Fact: They hold their wings tightly against their bodies underwater and use only their feet to propel themselves. At the end of a dive, they may bob to the surface like a cork. Throughout the day they alternate between bouts of feeding, swimming alertly, preening, and sleeping. ( Bufflehead Life History, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )