Sleeping Beauty.

F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 200.

Common Snapping Turtle

What do you get when you mix an elephant with a rhino?

Elephino!!!

Joke complementary of: robinwrites

 

 

F/5.6, 1/125, ISO 200.

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 400.

Interesting Fact: Snapping turtles ambush their prey from the bottom of the water. Fish mistake their tongue for warms and viola dinner is served. yum

Hey, these are my nuts!

F/5.6, 1/160, ISO 800.

Eastern Chipmunk

Why did the skeleton burp?

Because it didn’t have the guts to fart.

Interesting Fact: A chipmunk’s cheeks can expand to three times the size of its head and they have pouches in their cheeks where they hold their food until they get back to store it in their burrows ( http://www.pets4homes.co.uk/pet-advice/fun-interesting-facts-about-chipmunks.html )

 

 

Find A Balance In Life

F/6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.

American Coot

Why did the picture go to jail?

Because it was framed.

Interesting Fact: American Coots in the winter can be found in rafts of mixed waterfowl and in groups numbering up to several thousand individuals.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Coot/lifehistory )

 

 

DON’T PANIC!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 360.

Canada Goose 

A man goes to his doctor because he’s been feeling very ill for days. The doctor gives him several sets of pills.

The doctor instructs; “Take the green pill with two big glasses of water when you get up. An hour later, take the white pill with another glass of water. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Mid afternoon, take the orange pill with plenty of water, and repeat that at dinner. Then, just before going to bed, take the red pill with several big glasses of water.”

The man is alarmed at huge volume of medicine he has been given to take, and nervously asks, “What’s the diagnosis? What’s wrong with me?”

The doctor says, “You’re dehydrated.”

Interesting Fact: The “giant” Canada Goose, Branta canadensis maxima, bred from central Manitoba to Kentucky but was nearly driven extinct in the early 1900s. Programs to reestablish the subspecies to its original range were in many places so successful that the geese have become a nuisance in many urban and suburban areas.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/lifehistory )

Peck Me If You Can!

F/9.0, 1/1250, ISO 800.

Red-Bellied Woodpecker

Why did the owl, owl?

Because the woodpecker would peck ‘er!

Interesting Fact: A Red-bellied Woodpecker can stick out its tongue nearly 2 inches past the end of its beak. The tip is barbed and the bird’s spit is sticky, making it easier to snatch prey from deep crevices. Males have longer, wider-tipped tongues than females, possibly allowing a breeding pair to forage in slightly different places on their territory and maximize their use of available food. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-bellied_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

 

Double Check!

F/5.6, 1/1600, ISO 400.

Mute Swan

What did the digital clock say to his mother?

Look ma, no hands!

Interesting Fact: All of the Mute Swans in North America descended from swans imported from Europe from the mid 1800s through early 1900s to adorn large estates, city parks, and zoos. Escapees established breeding populations and are now established in the Northeast, Midatlantic, Great Lakes, and Pacific Northwest of the U.S. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan )

Be Your Self Everyone Else Is Already Taken!

F/6.3, 1/400, ISO 1600.

Hooded Merganser ( Male )

Did you hear that all the toilets at the police station were stolen?

Yeah… the cops got nothing to go on.

Interesting Fact: Hooded Merganser ducklings leave their nest cavity within 24 hours of hatching. First, their mother checks the area around the nest and calls to the nestlings from ground level. From inside the nest, the little fluffballs scramble up to the entrance hole and then flutter to the ground, which may be 50 feet or more below them. In some cases they have to walk half a mile or more with their mother to the nearest body of water. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser )

I Am Coming For You!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 400.

Ruddy Duck ( Juvenile ) 

Why are elephants such poor dancers?

Because they have two left feet.

Interesting Fact: Ruddy Ducks get harassed by Horned Grebes, Pied-billed Grebes, and American Coots during the breeding season. The grebes sometimes attack Ruddy Ducks from below the water, a behavior known as “submarining.” ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruddy_Duck )

Admit It. You’re Waiting For Something You Know Won’t Happen.

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 800.

Merlin

What do you get if you cross LSD with birth control?

A trip without the kids!

Interesting Fact: The name “Merlin” comes from esmerillon, the old French name for the species. Merlins used to be called “pigeon hawks” because in flight they look somewhat pigeon-like. Their species name, columbarius, is also a reference to pigeons.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Merlin )

 

 

Go Ahead… Make My Day!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 250.

Hooded Merganser ( Female )

What insect runs away from everything?

A flea!

Interesting Fact: Once a female begins incubating eggs her mate abandons her, and it’s not known if they reunite the following season. Incubating females may use a broken-wing display to protect eggs or nestlings from raccoons, mink, black rat snakes, black bears, pine martens, European Starlings, Northern Flickers, Red-headed Woodpeckers, and Red-bellied Woodpeckers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/lifehistory )