My Eyes Always Come Out Red In Photos

F/ 6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.

Canvasback

“Doctor, doctor, my wife thinks she’s a duck.”

“You better bring her in to see me straight away.”

“I can’t do that – she’s already flown south for the winter.”  

Interesting Fact: The species name of the Canvasback, Aythya valisineria, comes from Vallisneria americana, or wild celery, whose winter buds and rhizomes are its preferred food during the nonbreeding period.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canvasback/lifehistory )

I Am In To Head Banging, What Music Do you Like?

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F/6.3, 1/1000, ISO 800.

Downy Woodpecker

There are three guys in a helicopter and they each get to choose what they want to throw out.

The first guys chooses an apple. So he takes an apple and throws it out.

The second guy chooses a brick. So he takes a brick and throws it out.

The third guy chooses a grenade. So he pulls the pin and throws it out.

They land a while later and are walking along when they find a man rubbing his head.

They ask, “What happened to you?”

He answers, “An apple hit me on the head.”

They’re walking along again and find a man lying unconscious on the ground.

They ask the cop, “What happened to him?”

He answers, “A brick hit him on the head.”

They’re walking again, when they find a man laughing hysterically.

They ask, “What happened to you?”

He answers, “I farted and the house blew up behind me!”

Interesting Fact: In winter Downy Woodpeckers are frequent members of mixed species flocks. Advantages of flocking include having to spend less time watching out for predators and better luck finding food from having other birds around. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Downy_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

GERONIMO!

F/ 6.3, 1/1000, ISO 640.

Great Blue Heron

A magician was performing on cruise ship and each night while performing his pet parrot keeps saying:

“its up his sleeve”

” its in his pocket”.

“its in his shoe”.

“in his pants”.

Etc. and the magician was loosing his patience. one night while performing his tricks the ships boilers blew and the ship sank, the lucky magician was able to grab onto a ships table and float on the sea for a few days. the parrot in the mean time seemed non plussed and was looking quizzically at the magician for a few days whilst drifting. On the 4th day the parrots looks at his master and says:

“I give up… what did you do with the ship?”

Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons have specialized feathers on their chest that continually grow and fray. The herons comb this “powder down” with a fringed claw on their middle toes, using the down like a washcloth to remove fish slime and other oils from their feathers as they preen. Applying the powder to their underparts protects their feathers against the slime and oils of swamps. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )

Simon Sez Stand On One Leg!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 400.

Heermann’s Gull

How do you communicate with a fish?

Drop him a line!

Interesting Fact: The Heermann’s Gull is the only North American gull that breeds south of the United States and comes north to spend the nonbreeding season. After breeding is over in July, the gull quickly comes north all the way to southern Canada. It heads back southward by December, and most breeders are at the breeding islands by March. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Heermanns_Gull/lifehistory )

I Want To Swim Away!

Red-Necked Grebe

F/5.6, 1/200, ISO 100.

Red-Necked Grebe

One day, two thieves stole a bunch of money from a house. First thief: Let us count the money we have stolen. Second thief: Leave, why we will count and waste our time. We can see in the newspaper, tomorrow.

Interesting Fact: The Red-necked Grebe migrates over land strictly at night. It sometimes migrates over water or along coasts by day, in large flocks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-necked_Grebe/lifehistory )

If I’m Going To Get Wet, I May As Well Swim.

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F/5.6, 1/200, ISO 500.

Horned Grebe

Why won’t they allow elephants in public swimming pools?

Because they might let down their trunks.

Interesting Fact: The Horned Grebe regularly eats some of its own feathers, enough that its stomach usually contains a matted plug of them. This plug may function as a filter or may hold fish bones in the stomach until they can be digested. The parents even feed feathers to their chicks to get the plug started early. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Horned_Grebe/lifehistory )

I Swim Because I Am Too SEXY For A Sport That Requires Clothes

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 250.

Horned Grebe

Little Red Riding Hood walks all alone through the deep dark wood. Suddenly she hears rustling in a thick bush. Cautiously she moves the branches aside and finds herself facing the big bad wolf.

Little Red Riding Hood: “Oh, Big Bad Wolf, why do you have such huge red eyes?”

Big Bad Wolf: “Go away! I’m crapping!”

Interesting Fact: Dives underwater for food, in open water and among aquatic vegetation. Picks insects off water surface. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Horned_Grebe/lifehistory )

Walk Like You Talk!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 250.

Black-bellied Plover ( Juvenile )

I went to a seafood disco last week… and pulled a mussel.

Interesting Fact: Wary and quick to give alarm calls, the Black-bellied Plover functions worldwide as a sentinel for mixed groups of shorebirds. These qualities allowed it to resist market hunters, and it remained common when populations of other species of similar size were devastated. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-bellied_Plover/overview )

I’m Gonna Tell You Again STOP HUMMING!

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F/6.3, 1/125, ISO 100.

Rufous Hummingbird

What do you do with a sick boat?

Take it to the doc.

Interesting Fact: The Rufous Hummingbird has an excellent memory for location, no doubt helping it find flowers from day to day, or even year to year. Some birds have been seen returning from migration and investigating where a feeder had been the previous year, even though it had since been moved. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Rufous_Hummingbird/lifehistory )

Hey There Ace!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 220.

Brant Goose

What did the big flower say to the little one?

You’re really growing, bud!

Interesting Fact: The oldest recorded Brant was a female, and was over 27 years, 6 months old. It had been banded in Alaska and was found in Washington. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brant )