Haters Will See You Walking On Water And Say It Is Because You Can’t Swim

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 250.

Great Egret

Worker calls in to his Boss:

Worker: I can’t come to work today. I’m sick

Boss: Oh yea! What’s wrong with you now?

Worker: I have anal glaucoma.

Boss: What the hell is that?

Worker: I just can’t see my ass working today.

Interesting Fact: Great Egrets fly slowly but powerfully: with just two wingbeats per second their cruising speed is around 25 miles an hour. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/great_egret/lifehistory )

I Solemnly Swear I Am Up To No Good!

F/9.0, 1/125, ISO 320.

Black-crowned Night-Heron

Guest at a restaurant: “I refuse to eat this roast beef. Please call the manager! “

Waiter: “That’s no use. He won’t eat it either.”

Interesting Fact: Black-crowned Night Heron nest in groups that often include other species, including herons, egrets, and ibises. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-crowned_Night-Heron )

You See Me Rollin!

F/7.1, 1/200. ISO 125.

Great Egret

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school?

Bison.

Interesting Fact: The Great Egret walks with its neck extended and its wings held close to its body. In flight, it is graceful and buoyant, with its neck tucked back against its shoulders and its legs trailing behind. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret/lifehistory )

You Can Stop Driving Me Crazy,I Can Walk From Here!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 200.

Snowy Egret

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”

And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.”

Interesting Fact: During the breeding season, adult Snowy Egrets develop long, wispy feathers on their backs, necks, and heads. In 1886 these plumes were valued at $32 per ounce, which was twice the price of gold at the time. Plume-hunting for the fashion industry killed many Snowy Egrets and other birds until reforms were passed in the early twentieth century. The recovery of shorebird populations through the work of concerned citizens was an early triumph and helped give birth to the conservation movement. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Snowy_Egret )

Fish Tremble When They Hear My Name!

F/8.0, 1/200, ISO 160.

Green Heron

When do zombies go to sleep?

When they are dead tired.

Interesting Fact:  Green Herons eat mainly small fish such as minnows, sunfish, catfish, pickerel, carp, perch, gobies, shad, silverside, eels, and goldfish. They also feeds on insects, spiders, crustaceans, snails, amphibians, reptiles, and rodents. They hunt by standing still at the water’s edge, in vegetation, or by walking slowly in shallow water. When a fish approaches, the heron lunges and darts its head, grasping (or sometimes spearing) the fish with its heavy bill. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )

Shh… I’m Hiding From Negative People.

F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 160.

Green Heron

Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy!

Interesting Fact: Occasionally Green Herons hunt in deeper water by plunging on prey from above. They hunt at all times of the day and night in the shallows of swamps, creeks, marshes, ditches, ponds, and mangroves. They usually forage among thick vegetation in water that is less than 4 inches deep, avoiding the deeper and more open areas frequented by longer-legged herons. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )

Catch Me If You Can!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 200.

Great Egret

What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.

Interesting Fact: Though it mainly hunts while wading, the Great Egret occasionally swims to capture prey or hovers (somewhat laboriously) over the water and dips for fish. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret

Just Act Weird It Keeps The Creeps Away!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 200.

Snowy Egret

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

Interesting Fact: Adult Snowy Egrets have greenish-yellow feet for most of the year, but at the height of the breeding season their feet take on a much richer, orange-yellow hue. The bare skin on their face also changes color, from yellow to reddish. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Snowy_Egret )

Hee That Loves The Tree, Loves The Branch.

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 1000.

Green Heron

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An Investigator

Interesting Fact: Like many herons, the Green Heron tends to wander outside of its breeding range after the nesting season is over. Most of the wanderers stay nearby as they search for good feeding habitat, but some travel long distances. Individuals have turned up as far away as England and France. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )

Today’s Forecast Calling For A 90% Chance Of Swamp-Ass.

F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 800.

Great Egret

Why did the lady quit her job at the orange juice factory?

She couldn’t concentrate.

Interesting Fact: Males choose the display areas, where nests are later constructed. The nest itself is up to 100 feet off the ground, often over water, usually in or near the top of a shrub or tree such as a redwood, tamarisk, live oak, eastern redcedar, yaupon holly, wax myrtle, mangrove, Australian pine, buttonwood, Brazilian pepper, black willow, or privet. Great Egrets occasionally nest on the ground or on artificial platforms. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret/lifehistory )