school joke

My Life Is So Much More Interesting Inside My Head

March 27, 2023 — 22 Comments

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 400.

Ruby-crowned Kinglet

Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.

Much to their relief she smiled and said, “Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper.”

Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said: “First Question: Which tire was flat?”

Interesting Fact: Ruby-crowned Kinglets breed across far northern North America as well as the western mountains. Most migrate to the southern and southwestern United States and Mexico for the winter—but some mountain populations in the West simply move to lower elevations during the cold months. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruby-crowned_Kinglet/maps-range )

Your Worries Will Float Away

March 2, 2023 — 3 Comments

gadwall

F/6.3,1/250, ISO 400.

Gadwall

Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean?

They’re both below C level!

Interesting Fact: Gadwall have increased in numbers since the 1980s, partly because of conservation of wetlands and adjacent uplands in their breeding habitat through the Conservation Reserve Program and the North American Waterfowl Management Plan. Their habit of nesting on islands within marshes gives them some protection from predators. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Gadwall/lifehistory )

If You Talking About My Neck, I’m Not Responsible For What Happens Next…

February 6, 2023 — 4 Comments

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 160.

Great Egret 

Why are pirates so mean?

I don’t know, they just arrrrrrrrr!

Interesting Fact: Males choose the display areas, where nests are later constructed. The nest itself is up to 100 feet off the ground, often over water, usually in or near the top of a shrub or tree such as a redwood, tamarisk, live oak, eastern redcedar, yaupon holly, wax myrtle, mangrove, Australian pine, buttonwood, Brazilian pepper, black willow, or privet. Great Egrets occasionally nest on the ground or on artificial platforms. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret/lifehistory )

Don’t You Flap Your Wings At Me!

March 21, 2022 — 11 Comments

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Hooded Merganser

In School

Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Bob, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Bob: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”

Interesting Fact:  The Hooded Merganser is the second-smallest of the six living species of mergansers (only the Smew of Eurasia is smaller) and is the only one restricted to North America. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/lifehistory )

Dont Mess With Me, I Can Peck You Up!

March 13, 2022 — 14 Comments

F/9.0, 1/1250, ISO 400.

Downy Woodpecker

Teacher: Bob please point to America on the map.

Bob: This is it.

Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?

Class: Bob did.

Interesting Fact: Woodpeckers don’t sing songs, but they drum loudly against pieces of wood or metal to achieve the same effect. People sometimes think this drumming is part of the birds’ feeding habits, but it isn’t. In fact, feeding birds make surprisingly little noise even when they’re digging vigorously into wood. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/downy_woodpecker/lifehistory )

Rain Makes Everything Wet

March 9, 2022 — 19 Comments

F/6.3, 1/125, ISO 320.

Red-breasted Merganser

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up.

One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised.

She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?”

He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

Interesting Fact: The fastest duck ever recorded was a red-breasted merganser that attained a top airspeed of 100 mph while being pursued by an airplane. This eclipsed the previous speed record held by a canvasback clocked at 72 mph. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-breasted_merganser )

Wait, What Did You Said?

February 12, 2022 — 24 Comments

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 250.

Blue Jay

Why is your foot more special than your other body parts?

Because they have their own soul.

Interesting Fact: Blue Jays are found in all kinds of forests but especially near oak trees; they’re more abundant near forest edges than in deep forest. They’re common in urban and suburban areas, especially where oaks or bird feeders are found. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Blue_Jay/lifehistory )

I Never Get Tired Of The Blue Sky!

October 5, 2021 — 14 Comments

F/13.0, 1/500, ISO 250.

Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta

What is a balloon’s least favorite school activity?

A pop quiz.

Interesting Fact: The Balloon Fiesta began in 1972 as the highlight of a 50th birthday celebration for 770 KOB Radio. Radio station manager Dick McKee asked Sid Cutter, owner of Cutter Flying Service and the first person to own a hot air balloon in New Mexico, if KOB could use his new hot-air balloon as part of the festivities. The two began discussing ballooning, along with conversation and help from Oscar Kratz, and McKee asked what the largest gathering of hot air balloons to date had been. 19 balloons in England, Cutter replied. Kratz asked “Can we get 19 here?” Cutter agreed to try. He got commitments from 21 pilots, but bad weather kept some of them from arriving in time. The first fiesta ended up as a gathering of 13 balloons on April 8, 1972, sponsored by KOB. The first event was located in the parking lot of the Coronado Center Shopping Mall with 20,000 spectators and with balloonists from Arizona, California, Iowa, Michigan, Minnesota, Nevada and Texas taking part. McKee, Cutter, and Kratz are the three men who had originally started the balloon races.[2] The first fiesta incorporated a “Roadrunner-Coyote Balloon Race” (a “hare-and-hounds” race elsewhere in the world) with 1 balloon being the “Roadrunner” and the others being “Coyote” balloons (the “Roadrunner” balloon was actually emblazoned with likenesses of both Warner Bros. characters). The winner of the race – the “Coyote” that landed closest to the Roadrunner – was Don Piccard of the noted aerostation dynasty, flying a balloon of his company’s design and construction (his wife also placed in the race). This race has continued as part of the Balloon Fiesta today.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albuquerque_International_Balloon_Fiesta#History )

Should I Get A Tatoo Of A Human on My Back?

September 27, 2021 — 10 Comments

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 250.

Butterfly

What do Butterfly learn at school?

Mothmatics !

Interesting Fact:  Butterflies are often polymorphic, and many species make use of camouflage, mimicry and aposematism to evade their predators. Some, like the monarch and the painted lady, migrate over long distances. Many butterflies are attacked by parasites or parasitoids, including wasps, protozoans, flies, and other invertebrates, or are preyed upon by other organisms. Some species are pests because in their larval stages they can damage domestic crops or trees; other species are agents of pollination of some plants. Larvae of a few butterflies (e.g., harvesters) eat harmful insects, and a few are predators of ants, while others live as mutualists in association with ants. Culturally, butterflies are a popular motif in the visual and literary arts. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly )

Good Things Come To Those Who Bait.

March 4, 2021 — 15 Comments

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 125.

Osprey

In class:

Math Teacher: “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?”

Student: “A drinking problem.”

Interesting Fact: Osprey eggs do not hatch all at once. Rather, the first chick emerges up to five days before the last one. The older hatchling dominates its younger siblings, and can monopolize the food brought by the parents. If food is abundant, chicks share meals in relative harmony; in times of scarcity, younger ones may starve to death. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Osprey )