school teacher joke

Who Dyed Your Hair!

March 15, 2022 — 18 Comments

F/8.0, 1/1000, ISO 400.

Red-Bellied Woodpecker

Teacher: “Bobby what do you want to be when you grow up?”

Bobby: “A doctor.”

Teacher: “And why’s that?”

Bobby: “Because it’s the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill.”

Interesting Fact:  These birds often stick to main branches and trunks of trees, where they hitch in classic woodpecker fashion, leaning away from the trunk and onto their stiff tail feathers as they search for food hiding in bark crevices. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-bellied_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

Dont Mess With Me, I Can Peck You Up!

March 13, 2022 — 14 Comments

F/9.0, 1/1250, ISO 400.

Downy Woodpecker

Teacher: Bob please point to America on the map.

Bob: This is it.

Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?

Class: Bob did.

Interesting Fact: Woodpeckers don’t sing songs, but they drum loudly against pieces of wood or metal to achieve the same effect. People sometimes think this drumming is part of the birds’ feeding habits, but it isn’t. In fact, feeding birds make surprisingly little noise even when they’re digging vigorously into wood. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/downy_woodpecker/lifehistory )

Different Osprey In The Sky!

May 31, 2021 — 4 Comments

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 250.

Bell Boeing V-22 Osprey

What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?

The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says “chew chew chew”.

Interesting Fact:  The Osprey is the world’s first production tiltrotor aircraft, with one three-bladed proprotor, turboprop engine, and transmission nacelle mounted on each wingtip.[98] It is classified as a powered lift aircraft by the Federal Aviation Administration.[99] For takeoff and landing, it typically operates as a helicopter with the nacelles vertical and rotors horizontal. Once airborne, the nacelles rotate forward 90° in as little as 12 seconds for horizontal flight, converting the V-22 to a more fuel-efficient, higher speed turboprop aircraft. STOL rolling-takeoff and landing capability is achieved by having the nacelles tilted forward up to 45°.[100][101] Other orientations are possible.[102] It has a ferry range of over 2,100 nmi. Its operational range is 1,100 nmi. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bell_Boeing_V-22_Osprey#U.S._Marine_Corps )

Yes, How Can I Help You?

May 30, 2020 — 8 Comments

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Ruby-crowned Kinglet

What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?

The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says “chew chew chew”.

Interesting Fact: Ruby-crowned Kinglets seem nervous as they flit through the foliage, flicking their wings nearly constantly. Keeping an eye out for this habit can be a useful aid to identifying kinglets. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruby-crowned_Kinglet/lifehistory )

My Life Is So Much More Interesting Inside My Head

April 11, 2018 — 22 Comments

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 400.

Ruby-crowned Kinglet

Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.

Much to their relief she smiled and said, “Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper.”

Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said: “First Question: Which tire was flat?”

Interesting Fact: Ruby-crowned Kinglets breed across far northern North America as well as the western mountains. Most migrate to the southern and southwestern United States and Mexico for the winter—but some mountain populations in the West simply move to lower elevations during the cold months. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruby-crowned_Kinglet/maps-range )