Sometimes I Get Road Rage From Standing In Lines.

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Semipalmated Sandpipers

Why do ghosts ride in elevators?

It keeps their spirits up.

Interesting Fact: Semipalmated Sandpiper: Breeds in lower Arctic regions from western Alaska to Labrador. Migrates through central North America to the Atlantic coast to reach its wintering grounds, which extend from the extreme southern U.S. to the Caribbean Islands and South America. Preferred habitats include shorelines and mudflats. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/427/overview/Semipalmated_Sandpiper.aspx )

 

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Oh I’m Sorry. Did I Just Roll My Eyes Out loud?!

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Dragonfly

What does a baby computer call its dad?

Data

Interesting Fact: Dragonflies are powerful and agile fliers, capable of migrating across oceans, moving in any direction, and changing direction suddenly. In flight, the adult dragonfly can propel itself in six directions: upward, downward, forward, back, to left and to right.[47] They have four different styles of flight:[48] A number of flying modes are used that include counter-stroking, with forewings beating 180° out of phase with the hindwings, is used for hovering and slow flight. This style is efficient and generates a large amount of lift; phased-stroking, with the hindwings beating 90° ahead of the forewings, is used for fast flight. This style creates more thrust, but less lift than counter-stroking; synchronised-stroking, with forewings and hindwings beating together, is used when changing direction rapidly, as it maximises thrust; and gliding, with the wings held out, is used in three situations: free gliding, for a few seconds in between bursts of powered flight; gliding in the updraft at the crest of a hill, effectively hovering by falling at the same speed as the updraft; and in certain dragonflies such as darters, when “in cop” with a male, the female sometimes simply glides while the male pulls the pair along by beating his wings. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragonfly#Flight )

I May Look Like I’m Having Deep Thoughts, But Really I Need To Fart.

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Semipalmated Sandpiper

Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?

Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.

Interesting Fact:  Semipalmated Sandpipers from eastern populations probably undertake nonstop transoceanic flights of 3,000 – 4,000 km (1,900 – 2,500 mi) from New England and southern Canada to South America, powered by extensive fat reserves. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Semipalmated_Sandpiper/lifehistory )

 

Gone Fishing!

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Osprey

What did the fish say when he posted bail?

“I’m off the hook!”

Interesting Fact:  The Osprey is the only hawk on the continent that eats almost exclusively live fish. In North America, more than 80 species of live fresh- and saltwater fish account for 99 percent of the Osprey’s diet. Captured fish usually measure about 6–13 inches in length and weigh one-third to two-thirds of a pound. The largest catch on record weighed about 2.5 pounds.  (  https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Osprey/lifehistory )

Let The Sea Set You Free.

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Common Terns

Why was the math textbook so sad?

He had a lot of problems!

Interesting Fact: The Common Tern is sometimes called the sea swallow. A group of common terns are collectively known as a “committee” of terns. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/mwg/_/0/identify.whatbird.com/obj/465/overview/Common_Tern.aspx )

 

This Is Really Hard To Swallow

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Barn Swallow

Why did the computer break up with the internet?

There was no “Connection”.

Interesting Fact: Long-distance migrant. Barn Swallows fly from North American breeding grounds to wintering areas in Central and South America. Southbound fall migration may begin by late June in Florida or early July in Massachusetts. They return as early as late January in southern California to mid-May at Alaskan breeding sites. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/lifehistory )

Fish Out Of The Water!

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Common Terns

How do birds fly?

They just wing it!

Interesting Fact: Common Terns nest in colonies on the ground in areas with loose sand, gravel, shell, or cobble pebbles typically less than 350 feet from the water. They tend to choose areas with scattered, low-growing vegetation to provide cover for chicks.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Tern/lifehistory )

Even Though You’re Fed Up. You Gotta Keep Your Head Up.

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Double-crested Cormorant 

What do you call someone without a nose or a body?

Nobodynose.

Interesting Fact: Both Double-crested Cormorant mates work on the nest, with the male bringing most of the material and the female doing the building. The nest is mostly made of finger-size sticks, with some seaweed and flotsam, and lined with grass. Nests are 1.5 to 3 feet in diameter and 4 to 17 inches high; ground nests tend to be wider than tree nests, but tree nests have deeper interiors. Breeding cormorants readily steal nesting materials from a nearby nest that’s not guarded. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Double-crested_Cormorant/lifehistory )

Why You All Up In My Business!

osprey

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Osprey

What does the man in the moon do when his hair gets too long?

Eclipse it!

Interesting Fact: Ospreys hunt by diving to the water’s surface from some 30 to 100 feet (9 to 30 meters) up. They have gripping pads on their feet to help them pluck fish from the water with their curved claws and carry them for great distances. In flight, ospreys will orient the fish headfirst to ease wind resistance. ( https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/birds/o/osprey/ )

All Bridges Can Be Crossed, So Don’t Give Up!

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Verrazano-Narrows Bridge

Why was the big cat disqualified from the race?

Because it was a cheetah.

Interesting Fact: A bridge across the Narrows had been proposed as early as 1927, when structural engineer David B. Steinman brought up the possibility of such a crossing.[3] At the time, Staten Island was isolated from the rest of New York City, and its only direct connection to the other four boroughs was via the Staten Island Ferry to South Ferry in Manhattan, or 39th and 69th Streets in Brooklyn.[4] In 1928, when the chambers of commerce in Brooklyn, Queens, Long Island, and Staten Island announced that the Interboro Bridge Company had proposed the future construction of the “Liberty Bridge” to United States Department of War. The bridge’s towers would be 800 feet (240 m) high and it would cost $60 million in 1928 dollars.[5] In November 1929, engineers released plans for the 4,500-foot (1,400 m) Liberty Bridge spanning the Narrows,[6] with 800-foot-tall towers.[7] It was hoped that the new construction would spur development on Staten Island, along with the Outerbridge Crossing and the Bayonne Bridge, which were under construction at the time. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Verrazano-Narrows_Bridge#History