I’m On A Seafood Diet. I See Food, I Eat It.

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 160.

Red-tailed Hawk

What did one elevator say to the other elevator?

I think I’m coming down with something!

Interesting Fact: Mammals make up the bulk of most Red-tailed Hawk meals. Frequent victims include voles, mice, wood rats, rabbits, snowshoe hares, jackrabbits, and ground squirrels. The hawks also eat birds, including pheasants, bobwhite, starlings, and blackbirds; as well as snakes and carrion. Individual prey items can weigh anywhere from less than an ounce to more than 5 pounds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory  )

I’m Super Fly!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 320.

Northern Harrier

What did one toilet roll say to the other toilet roll? 

“People keep on ripping me off!”

Interesting Fact: Male Northern Harriers can have as many as five mates at once, though most have only one or two. The male provides most of the food for his mates and their offspring, while the females incubate the eggs and brood the chicks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Harrier/overview )

 

You Give Me The Chills!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 160.

Red-tailed Hawk

Two snakes are talking.

One of them turns to the other and asks, “Are we venomous?”

The other replays, “Yes,why?…”

“I just bit ma lip.”

Interesting Fact: Red-tailed Hawks typically put their nests in the crowns of tall trees where they have a commanding view of the landscape. They may also nest on a cliff ledge or on artificial structures such as window ledges and billboard platforms. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory

That Hawkward Moment!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 400.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants.”

The pirate says, “Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts.”

Interesting Fact: ed-tailed Hawks typically put their nests in the crowns of tall trees where they have a commanding view of the landscape. They may also nest on a cliff ledge or on artificial structures such as window ledges and billboard platforms. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )

It’s Been A Rough Week So Far… But On Positive Note, I Didn’t Need Any Bail Money And Didn’t Have To Hide Any Bodies!

F/6.3, 1/800, ISO 800.

Rough-legged Hawk

Daughter: “Mom, where do tampons go?”

Mom: “Where the babies come from, darling.”

Daughter “In the stork?”

Check out this really funny jokes: http://www.short-funny.com/#ixzz5540ew6c6

Interesting Fact: The Rough-legged Hawk’s cliffside nest, a bulky mass of sticks, sometimes contains caribou bones. Nesting pairs need a lot of space: usually only a single pair will nest on a quarter-mile-long cliff. However, the pair may nest within 100 feet of Gyrfalcons, Peregrine Falcons, or Common Ravens. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Rough-legged_Hawk/lifehistory  )

Life Is Like A Camera Focus On What’s Important & You’ll Capture It Perfectly.

F/11.0, 1/125, ISO 125.

Cooper’s Hawk

Why was the snowman sad?

Cause he had a meltdown.

Interesting Fact: Cooper’s Hawks build nests in pines, oaks, Douglas-firs, beeches, spruces, and other tree species, often on flat ground rather than hillsides, and in dense woods. Nests are typically 25-50 feet high, often about two-thirds of the way up the tree in a crotch or on a horizontal branch. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Coopers_Hawk/lifehistory )

Here’s Looking At You, Kid

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

Interesting Fact: Birds are amazingly adapted for life in the air. The Red-tailed Hawk is one of the largest birds you’ll see in North America, yet even the biggest females weigh in at only about 3 pounds. A similar-sized small dog might weigh 10 times that. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )

I’ve Been Patiently Waiting For A Someone To Fly By!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 400.

Cooper’s Hawk

What did the hamburger name his daughter?

Patty!

Interesting Fact: Cooper’s Hawks show the classic accipiter flight style: a few stiff wingbeats followed by short glides. But in pursuit of prey their flight becomes powerful, quick, and very agile, allowing the bird to thread its way through tree branches at top speed. Courting birds display by flying with slow wingbeats, then gliding with wings held in a V. Males make a bowing display to females after pairing and before beginning to build the nest. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Coopers_Hawk/lifehistory )

Good Things Come To Those Who Bait.

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 125.

Osprey

In class:

Math Teacher: “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?”

Student: “A drinking problem.”

Interesting Fact: Osprey eggs do not hatch all at once. Rather, the first chick emerges up to five days before the last one. The older hatchling dominates its younger siblings, and can monopolize the food brought by the parents. If food is abundant, chicks share meals in relative harmony; in times of scarcity, younger ones may starve to death. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Osprey )

I’m So High!

F/6.3, 1/2500, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.

“What’s wrong, dearest?” asked the confused husband.

“Oh darling,” sobbed the wife,

“I was cleaning little Jen’s room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?”

“Well,” replied the man, “I guess a spanking is out of the question?”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known wild Red-tailed Hawk was at least 30 years, 8 months old when it was found in Michigan in 2011, the same state where it had been banded in 1981. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/overview )