I’ve Been Patiently Waiting For A Someone To Fly By!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 400.

Cooper’s Hawk

What did the hamburger name his daughter?

Patty!

Interesting Fact: Cooper’s Hawks show the classic accipiter flight style: a few stiff wingbeats followed by short glides. But in pursuit of prey their flight becomes powerful, quick, and very agile, allowing the bird to thread its way through tree branches at top speed. Courting birds display by flying with slow wingbeats, then gliding with wings held in a V. Males make a bowing display to females after pairing and before beginning to build the nest. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Coopers_Hawk/lifehistory )

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Here’s Looking At You, Kid

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

Interesting Fact: Birds are amazingly adapted for life in the air. The Red-tailed Hawk is one of the largest birds you’ll see in North America, yet even the biggest females weigh in at only about 3 pounds. A similar-sized small dog might weigh 10 times that. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )

You Give Me The Chills!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 160.

Red-tailed Hawk

Two snakes are talking.

One of them turns to the other and asks, “Are we venomous?”

The other replays, “Yes,why?…”

“I just bit ma lip.”

Interesting Fact: Red-tailed Hawks typically put their nests in the crowns of tall trees where they have a commanding view of the landscape. They may also nest on a cliff ledge or on artificial structures such as window ledges and billboard platforms. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory

I’m So High!

F/6.3, 1/2500, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.

“What’s wrong, dearest?” asked the confused husband.

“Oh darling,” sobbed the wife,

“I was cleaning little Jen’s room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?”

“Well,” replied the man, “I guess a spanking is out of the question?”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known wild Red-tailed Hawk was at least 30 years, 8 months old when it was found in Michigan in 2011, the same state where it had been banded in 1981. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/overview )

Good Things Come To Those Who Bait.

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 125.

Osprey

In class:

Math Teacher: “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?”

Student: “A drinking problem.”

Interesting Fact: Osprey eggs do not hatch all at once. Rather, the first chick emerges up to five days before the last one. The older hatchling dominates its younger siblings, and can monopolize the food brought by the parents. If food is abundant, chicks share meals in relative harmony; in times of scarcity, younger ones may starve to death. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Osprey )

Come At Me Bro!

F/9.0,  1/320, ISO 320.

Cooper’s Hawk

What did the tree say to spring?

What a re-leaf.

Interesting Fact: Dashing through vegetation to catch birds is a dangerous lifestyle. In a study of more than 300 Cooper’s Hawk skeletons, 23 percent showed old, healed-over fractures in the bones of the chest, especially of the furcula, or wishbone. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Coopers_Hawk )

I’m So Fly!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Northern Harrier

A camel meets an elephant.

The elephant asks jokingly: “Why do you have two breasts on your back?”

The camel replies: “With a face like yours, I’d just shut up.”

Interesting Fact: Northern Harriers are the most owl-like of hawks (though they’re not related to owls). They rely on hearing as well as vision to capture prey. The disk-shaped face looks and functions much like an owl’s, with stiff facial feathers helping to direct sound to the ears. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Harrier ) 

It’s Been A Rough Week So Far… But On Positive Note, I Didn’t Need Any Bail Money And Didn’t Have To Hide Any Bodies!

F/6.3, 1/800, ISO 800.

Rough-legged Hawk

Daughter: “Mom, where do tampons go?”

Mom: “Where the babies come from, darling.”

Daughter “In the stork?”

Check out this really funny jokes: http://www.short-funny.com/#ixzz5540ew6c6

Interesting Fact: The Rough-legged Hawk’s cliffside nest, a bulky mass of sticks, sometimes contains caribou bones. Nesting pairs need a lot of space: usually only a single pair will nest on a quarter-mile-long cliff. However, the pair may nest within 100 feet of Gyrfalcons, Peregrine Falcons, or Common Ravens. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Rough-legged_Hawk/lifehistory  )

I Rule The SKY!

F/6.3, 1/640, ISO 100.

Red-tailed Hawk

Why did the witches’ team lose the baseball game?

Their bats flew away.

Interesting Fact: Red-tailed Hawks typically put their nests in the crowns of tall trees where they have a commanding view of the landscape. They may also nest on a cliff ledge or on artificial structures such as window ledges and billboard platforms. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )

Come Out Come Out Wherever You Are?!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 400.

Red-tailed Hawk

Which runs faster, hot or cold?

HOT. Everyone can catch cold.

Interesting Fact: Red-tailed Hawks are large, sharp-taloned birds that can be aggressive when defending nests or territories. They frequently chase off other hawks, eagles, and Great Horned Owls. Courting birds fly with legs hanging beneath them, or chase and swoop after each other, sometimes locking talons. Mated pairs typically stay together until one of the pair dies. ( https://throughopenlens.com/tag/red-tailed-hawk/ )