Flap Your Wings Like You Mean It.

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Bufflehead Duck ( Male )

What do you call a belt with a clock on it?

A waist of time.

Interesting Fact: To dive, Bufflehead compress their plumage to squeeze out air, then give a slight forward leap and plunge powerfully downward. They hold their wings tightly against their bodies underwater and use only their feet to propel themselves. ( Bufflehead Life History, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

Today I Will Be Happier Than A Bird With A French Fry!

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Carolina Wren

What did one plate say to the other?

Dinners on me.

Interesting Fact: Carolina Wrens nest in open cavities 3–6 feet off the ground, in trees, overhangs and stumps. The first nest is sometimes built on vegetation-shaded ground. Near homes, they’re versatile nesters, making use of discarded flowerpots, mailboxes, propane-tank covers, and a variety of other items. Their nests have even been found in old coat pockets and boots. Males often build multiple nests before the pair makes a final selection. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Carolina_Wren/lifehistory )

You Make Me Blush!

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House Finch

Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?

Because they dropped out of school!

Interesting Fact:  House Finches were introduced to Oahu from San Francisco sometime before 1870. They had become abundant on all the major Hawaiian Islands by 1901 ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/House_Finch )

Freeze!

dark-eyed-junco

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Dark-eyed Junco

How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?

You wake up wet!

Interesting Fact: Male juncos are very territorial in summer, chasing off intruders in rapid flights accompanied by excited call notes. When males court females, they fan or flick open their wings and tail, hop up and down, and pick up pieces of nest material or moss; females seem to prefer males that show more white in the tail. During winter, Dark-eyed Juncos form fairly large flocks, and where wintering ranges overlap you may find several subspecies in a single flock. Juncos also forage with other sparrows and bluebirds. Junco flocks typically have a hierarchy or pecking order, and earlier arrivals tend to rank higher in the group than later arrivals. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Dark-eyed_Junco/lifehistory )

Are You Loon-ely Tonight?

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Common Loon ( Nonbreeding adult )

What do Snowmen call their offspring?

Chill-dren.

Interesting Fact: Loons are water birds, only going ashore to mate and incubate eggs. Their legs are placed far back on their bodies, allowing efficient swimming but only awkward movement on land. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Loon/lifehistory )

I’m Higher Than I Expected!

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Mount San Jacinto State Park ( Desert View Trail ) 

What kind of undies do clouds wear?

Thunderwear.

Interesting Fact: The San Jacinto Mountains, like the neighboring San Bernardino Mountains, are a humid island above the surrounding desert and semi-desert. Annual precipitation ranges from about 15 inches at the western base (and only 6 inches on the eastern, desert base) to as much as 32 inches above 5,500 feet (the mountain town of Idyllwild averages 27 inches per year). The coastal (western) side of the range receives more precipitation than the eastern (desert) side. Most of the precipitation falls between November and March, with a secondary maximum associated with thunderstorms during the summer monsoon season between July and September. The precipitation totals are highly variable from year to year. Snow usually falls above 4,000 feet elevation in winter. Above 8,000 feet, snow sometimes persists until June. Near the crest, there are often a few patches of snow that may persist all year in shady spots. ( San Jacinto Mountains – Wikipedia )

Haters Will See You Walking On Water And Say It Is Because You Can’t Swim

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Great Egret

Worker calls in to his Boss:

Worker: I can’t come to work today. I’m sick

Boss: Oh yea! What’s wrong with you now?

Worker: I have anal glaucoma.

Boss: What the hell is that?

Worker: I just can’t see my ass working today.

Interesting Fact: Great Egrets fly slowly but powerfully: with just two wingbeats per second their cruising speed is around 25 miles an hour. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/great_egret/lifehistory )

I Can Walk On Water!

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Ring-billed Gull

Two Police officers are talking:

A naked women robbed a bank.

Nobody could remember her face.

Interesting Fact: Ring-billed Gulls near Tampa Bay, Florida, became accustomed to feasting on garbage at an open landfill site. Then, in 1983, operators replaced the dumping grounds with closed incinerators. The thwarted scavengers found themselves another open dump, but the pattern continues all across the gull’s range. When waste-management practices shift from open landfills to closed incinerators, gull numbers often drop. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-billed_Gull/lifehistory )

No Matter How Long The Winter, Spring Is Sure To Follow!

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Black-capped Chickadee

What did the tree say to spring?

What a re-leaf.

Interesting Fact: Chickadee calls are complex and language-like, communicating information on identity and recognition of other flocks as well as predator alarms and contact calls. The more dee notes in a chickadee-dee-dee call, the higher the threat level. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-capped_Chickadee/lifehistory )

I Know You Are Jealous Of My Beak

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Northern Shoveler ( Female ) 

How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?

You wake up wet!

Interesting Fact: Northern shovelers feed by dabbling for plant food, often by swinging its bill from side to side and using the bill to strain food from the water. They use their highly specialized bill (from which their name is derived) to forage for aquatic invertebrates – a carnivorous diet. Their wide-flat bill is equipped with well-developed lamellae – small, comb-like structures on the edge of the bill that act like sieves, allowing the birds to skim crustaceans and plankton from the water’s surface. This adaptation, more specialized in shovelers, gives them an advantage over other puddle ducks, with which they do not have to compete for food resources during most of the year. Thus, mud-bottomed marshes rich in invertebrate life are their habitat of choices. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northern_shoveler#Behavior )