Sleeping Beauty.

F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 200.

Common Snapping Turtle

What do you get when you mix an elephant with a rhino?

Elephino!!!

Joke complementary of: robinwrites

F/5.6, 1/125, ISO 200.

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 400.

Interesting Fact: Snapping turtles ambush their prey from the bottom of the water. Fish mistake their tongue for warms and viola dinner is served. yum

Make A Splash!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Killdeer

How does a man take a bubble bath?

He eats beans for dinner.

Interesting Fact: Often seen in dry, flat landscapes, running and halting on the ground in search of insects and earthworms. Although the Killdeer is common around human habitation it is often shy, at first running away rather than flying. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Killdeer/lifehistory )

Hey, these are my nuts!

F/5.6, 1/160, ISO 800.

Eastern Chipmunk

Why did the skeleton burp?

Because it didn’t have the guts to fart.

Interesting Fact: A chipmunk’s cheeks can expand to three times the size of its head and they have pouches in their cheeks where they hold their food until they get back to store it in their burrows ( http://www.pets4homes.co.uk/pet-advice/fun-interesting-facts-about-chipmunks.html )

 

 

Don’t Forget To Duck!

F/14.0, 1/800, ISO 640.

Northern Shoveler 

To whom do fish go to borrow money?

The loan shark!

Interesting Fact: They are fairly social ducks, occurring in groups with shovelers and other dabbling ducks, especially during the winter. During the breeding season, they are less tolerant of other shovelers encroaching on their territory. Defensive males often chase intruders on the water and in the air. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Shoveler/lifehistory )

 

 

Peck Me If You Can!

F/9.0, 1/1250, ISO 800.

Red-Bellied Woodpecker

Why did the owl, owl?

Because the woodpecker would peck ‘er!

Interesting Fact: A Red-bellied Woodpecker can stick out its tongue nearly 2 inches past the end of its beak. The tip is barbed and the bird’s spit is sticky, making it easier to snatch prey from deep crevices. Males have longer, wider-tipped tongues than females, possibly allowing a breeding pair to forage in slightly different places on their territory and maximize their use of available food. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-bellied_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

 

HEY BOO BOO!!!

F/6.3, 1/60. ISO 640.

American Black Bear

How does a tree get on the internet?

He logs in

Interesting Fact: American black bears have better eyesight and hearing than humans. Their keenest sense is their sense of smell, which is about seven times more sensitive than a domestic dog’s.[64] American black bears are excellent and strong swimmers, swimming for pleasure and to feed (largely on fish). ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_black_bear )

Double Check!

F/5.6, 1/1600, ISO 400.

Mute Swan

What did the digital clock say to his mother?

Look ma, no hands!

Interesting Fact: All of the Mute Swans in North America descended from swans imported from Europe from the mid 1800s through early 1900s to adorn large estates, city parks, and zoos. Escapees established breeding populations and are now established in the Northeast, Midatlantic, Great Lakes, and Pacific Northwest of the U.S. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan )

Life Is Like A Cactus, Full Of Pricks, But Also Very Beautiful.

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 250.

Loggerhead Shrike

What is a soldiers least favorite month of the year?

March

Interesting Fact: Loggerhead Shrikes impale noxious prey such as monarch butterflies and eastern narrow-mouthed toads—then wait for up to three days to eat them, which allows time for the poisons to break down. These shrikes also eat the heads and abdomens of toxic lubber grasshoppers, while discarding the insect’s poisonous thorax. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Loggerhead_Shrike )

 

 

In Three Words I Can Sum Up Everything I’ve Learned About Life. IT GOES ON.

F/6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.

Canvesback

What do you call it when you have your Grandma on speed dial?

Instagram

Interesting Fact: Canvasbacks are social outside of the breeding season; they gather in large rafts by the thousands to tens of thousands. Only when winter food is scarce or clumped do they defend foraging areas against other Canvasbacks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canvasback/lifehistory )

 

 

I Was Going To Give You A Nesty Look… But I See You Already Have One…

osprey-1

F/7.1, 1/800, ISO 200.

Osprey

Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?

Because he is a pain in the neck.

Interesting Fact: An Osprey may log more than 160,000 migration miles during its 15-to-20-year lifetime. Scientists track Ospreys by strapping lightweight satellite transmitters to the birds’ backs. The devices pinpoint an Osprey’s location to within a few hundred yards and last for 2-3 years. During 13 days in 2008, one Osprey flew 2,700 miles—from Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts, to French Guiana, South America.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Osprey/lifehistory )