I Can Freeze Time! What’s Your Superpower?

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Anna’s Hummingbird ( Female )

Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor.

What did one say to the other?

Dill with it.

Interesting Fact: Hummingbirds have tiny legs and can neither hop nor walk, though they can sort of scoot sideways while perched.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Annas_Hummingbird )

You Just Been Mooned, Now Go Moon Someone Else!

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Lockheed Martin C-130J Super Hercules

Why wasn’t the moon hungry?

Because it was full!

Interesting Fact: The moon rotates at 10 miles per hour compared to the earth’s rotation of 1000 miles per hour. ( http://www.moonconnection.com/moon_facts.phtml )

 

Get Your Green On!

Happy St Patrick’s Day!

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Monk Parakeets

Why don’t you iron 4-Leaf clovers?

Because you don’t want to press your luck.

Interesting Fact: Monk Parakeets kept in captivity can learn to mimic human speech. ( https://www.t.org/guide/Monk_Parakeet/lifehistory )

Interesting Fact: Saint Patrick’s Day, or the Feast of Saint Patrick(Irish: Lá Fhéile Pádraig, “the Day of the Festival of Patrick”), is a cultural and religious celebration held on 17 March, the traditional death date of Saint Patrick (c. AD 385–461), the foremost patron saint of Ireland. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Patrick%27s_Day )

It’s Been A Rough Week So Far… But On Positive Note, I Didn’t Need Any Bail Money And Didn’t Have To Hide Any Bodies!

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Rough-legged Hawk

Daughter: “Mom, where do tampons go?”

Mom: “Where the babies come from, darling.”

Daughter “In the stork?”

Check out this really funny jokes: http://www.short-funny.com/#ixzz5540ew6c6

Interesting Fact: The Rough-legged Hawk’s cliffside nest, a bulky mass of sticks, sometimes contains caribou bones. Nesting pairs need a lot of space: usually only a single pair will nest on a quarter-mile-long cliff. However, the pair may nest within 100 feet of Gyrfalcons, Peregrine Falcons, or Common Ravens. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Rough-legged_Hawk/lifehistory  )

I Patrol The Sky And I Am Super High!

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Peregrine Falcon

A Jen caught her husband Bob on the weight scale, sucking in his stomach.

Jen: “That won’t help you, Bob, you know?”

Bob: “Oh it helps a lot,” says the man, “it’s the only way I can see the numbers!”

Interesting Fact: People have trained falcons for hunting for over a thousand years, and the Peregrine Falcon was always one of the most prized birds. Efforts to breed the Peregrine in captivity and reestablish populations depleted during the DDT years were greatly assisted by the existence of methods of handling captive falcons developed by falconers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Peregrine_Falcon/lifehistory )

Fly Eagles Fly!!!

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Bald Eagles ( Juveniles )

Why did the football coach shake the vending machine?

I don’t know?

Because he needed a quarter back.

Interesting Fact: Sometimes even the national bird has to cut loose. Bald Eagles have been known to play with plastic bottles and other objects pressed into service as toys. One observer witnessed six Bald Eagles passing sticks to each other in midair. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle/lifehistory

Hold It Until We Find A Clean Car!

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Brown Pelican

How do you make holy water?

Boil the hell out of it!

Interesting Fact: Though they have an awkward gait on land, Brown Pelicans are strong swimmers and masterful fliers. They fly to and from their fishing grounds in V-formations or lines just above the water’s surface. They and the closely related Peruvian Pelican are the only pelican species to perform spectacular head-first dives (typically ending in a huge splash visible from far away) to trap fish.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Pelican/lifehistory )

He Can Be A Real Pecker !

red-bellied-woodpecker-1

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Red-Bellied Woodpecker

An New York woodpecker and a Florida woodpecker were in New York arguing about which state had the toughest trees to peck. The New Yorker

woodpecker said that they had a tree there that no woodpecker can peck.

The Florida woodpecker challenged him and was able to peck a hole in the tree with no problem. The New Yorker woodpecker was in awe!

The Florida woodpeck then challenged the New Yorker woodpecker to come to Florida and try to peck this certain tree there that no woodpecker had

ever been able to peck successfully.

The NewYorker woodpecker said he was sure he would be able to do it. So, after flying down to Florida, he successfully pecked the tree!

The two woodpeckers then had a discussion about why they were each unable to peck those trees in their own states. After thinking about this problem

for some time, they both came to the same conclusion: “Your pecker is always harder when you’re away from home…”

 

Interesting Fact: You may sometimes see Red-bellied Woodpeckers wedge large nuts into bark crevices, then whack them into manageable pieces using their beaks. They also use cracks in trees and fence posts to store food for later in the year, a habit it shares with other woodpeckers in its genus. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-bellied_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

 

 

 

Use Your Head!

yellow-bellied-sapsucker-2

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Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker

What did the trees wear to Mother Nature’s pool party?

Swimming trunks!

Interesting Fact: The Yellow-bellied Sapsucker frequently uses human-produced materials to help in its territorial drumming. Street signs and metal chimney flashing amplify the irregular tapping of a territorial sapsucker. The sapsucker seems to suffer no ill effects of whacking its bill on metal, and a bird will return to a favorite sign day after day to pound out its Morse code-like message. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Yellow-bellied_Sapsucker/lifehistory  )

Here’s Looking At You, Kid

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Red-tailed Hawk

Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

Interesting Fact: Birds are amazingly adapted for life in the air. The Red-tailed Hawk is one of the largest birds you’ll see in North America, yet even the biggest females weigh in at only about 3 pounds. A similar-sized small dog might weigh 10 times that. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )