I Had A Very Unhappy Egghood…

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Brown-headed Cowbird

What did the traffic light say to the car?

Don’t look, I’m changing.

Interesting Fact: Cowbird eggs hatch faster than other species eggs, giving cowbird nestlings a head start in getting food from the parents. Young cowbirds also develop at a faster pace than their nest mates, and they sometimes toss out eggs and young nestlings or smother them in the bottom of the nest. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown-headed_Cowbird/lifehistory )

 

 

 

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It’s Better To Swallow Words Than To Have To Eat Them Later

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Tree Swallow

What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?

Flood lights!

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows have helped researchers make major advances in several branches of ecology, and they are among the best-studied bird species in North America. Still, we know little about their lives during migration and winter. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

It’s Electrifyin

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Monk Parakeets

What do you get when you cross a parrot and a centipede?

A walkie-talkie.

Interesting Fact: Monk Parakeets in North America live in urban and suburban environments, especially around city parks. They are one of the few parrot species able to survive temperate-zone winters. In their native range in South America, Monk Parakeets live in dry savannas with scattered woods up to about 6,000 feet elevation.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Monk_Parakeet/lifehistory )

This Is Really Hard To Swallow

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 320.

Barn Swallow

Why did the computer break up with the internet?

There was no “Connection”.

Interesting Fact: Long-distance migrant. Barn Swallows fly from North American breeding grounds to wintering areas in Central and South America. Southbound fall migration may begin by late June in Florida or early July in Massachusetts. They return as early as late January in southern California to mid-May at Alaskan breeding sites. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/lifehistory )

I’m Super Fly!

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Northern Harrier

What did one toilet roll say to the other toilet roll? 

“People keep on ripping me off!”

Interesting Fact: Male Northern Harriers can have as many as five mates at once, though most have only one or two. The male provides most of the food for his mates and their offspring, while the females incubate the eggs and brood the chicks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Harrier/overview )

 

Those Who Fear The Thorns Cannot Pic The Roses.

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Savannah Sparrow

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?

Because she ran away from the ball.

Interesting Fact: Raising young is hard work: a female Savannah Sparrow must gather 10 times her weight in food to feed herself and her young during the 8 days they are in the nest. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Savannah_Sparrow/ )

The Time You Enjoy Wasting Is Not Wasted Time!

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Palm Warbler

What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

Interesting Fact: Though the Palm Warbler’s name might imply it is a tropical bird, it’s actually one of the northernmost breeding of all warblers (only the Blackpoll Warbler breeds farther north). They got their name from J. P. Gmelin who named them based on a specimen collected on Hispaniola, a Caribbean island with a lot of palm trees. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Palm_Warbler )

If You Dare Come A Little Closer!

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Black-crowned Night-Heron

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

“You’re too young to smoke.”

 Interesting Fact: Some populations stay in one place year-round, while others disperse short distances of 5–60 miles. Others migrate farther, such as from Massachusetts to Florida and the Caribbean, or from Alberta to Mexico and Cuba. Migrants follow the coast or the Mississippi River flyway. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-crowned_Night-Heron/lifehistory )

Why You All Up In My Business!

osprey

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Osprey

What does the man in the moon do when his hair gets too long?

Eclipse it!

Interesting Fact: Ospreys hunt by diving to the water’s surface from some 30 to 100 feet (9 to 30 meters) up. They have gripping pads on their feet to help them pluck fish from the water with their curved claws and carry them for great distances. In flight, ospreys will orient the fish headfirst to ease wind resistance. ( https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/birds/o/osprey/ )

Daydreaming Again!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 160.

Hispaniolan Woodpecker

Bacon and eggs walk into a bar and order a beer,

the bartender says sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.

Interesting Fact: This woodpecker is quite vocal, emitting a range of sounds including yapping, squeaking, rolling and nasal calls. Drumming is done only occasionally. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hispaniolan_woodpecker )