I’m Higher Than I Expected!

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Mount San Jacinto State Park ( Desert View Trail ) 

What kind of undies do clouds wear?

Thunderwear.

Interesting Fact: The San Jacinto Mountains, like the neighboring San Bernardino Mountains, are a humid island above the surrounding desert and semi-desert. Annual precipitation ranges from about 15 inches at the western base (and only 6 inches on the eastern, desert base) to as much as 32 inches above 5,500 feet (the mountain town of Idyllwild averages 27 inches per year). The coastal (western) side of the range receives more precipitation than the eastern (desert) side. Most of the precipitation falls between November and March, with a secondary maximum associated with thunderstorms during the summer monsoon season between July and September. The precipitation totals are highly variable from year to year. Snow usually falls above 4,000 feet elevation in winter. Above 8,000 feet, snow sometimes persists until June. Near the crest, there are often a few patches of snow that may persist all year in shady spots. ( San Jacinto Mountains – Wikipedia )

Bring On The Night!

jersey-city-downtown-park

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Newport Green Park Downtown Jersey City

A man asked his wife what she’d like for her birthday. “I’d love to be six again,” she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park.
What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was!
Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of
the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down.
Right to a McDonald’s they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog, popcorn, Pepsi, and M&Ms.
What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
He leaned over and lovingly, asked, “Well, dear, what was it like being six again?”
One eye opened. “You idiot, I meant my dress size.”
The moral of this story: Even when the man is listening, he’s still gonna get it wrong.

Interesting Fact: Newport is a 600-acre (2.4 km2) master-planned, mixed-use community in Downtown Jersey City, New Jersey, United States, consisting of retail, residential, office, and entertainment facilities. The neighborhood is situated on the Hudson Waterfront opposite the Tribeca area of Lower Manhattan in New York City, on what had been the yards of Erie Railroad‘s Pavonia Terminal. Redevelopment of the neighborhood began in 1986 as a $10 billion project led by real-estate tycoon Samuel J. LeFrak and his firm The LeFrak Organization.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newport,_Jersey_City )

 

 

Believe You Can And You’re Halfway There.

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Dark-eyed Junco

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

Interesting Fact: The female chooses the nest site, typically in a depression or niche on sloping ground, rock face, or amid the tangled roots of an upturned tree. Around people, juncos may nest in or underneath buildings. Occasionally, juncos nest above the ground on horizontal branches (rarely as high as 45 feet), window ledges, and in hanging flower pots or light fixtures. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Dark-eyed_Junco/lifehistory )

Just Sit And Enjoy The View!

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Castello di Amorosa, Calistoga, CA 

Where does spaghetti go to dance?

The Meatball.

Interesting Fact: Castello di Amorosa is a castle and a winery located near Calistoga, California. First opening its doors to the public in April 2007, the castle is the project of 4th generation vintner, Dario Sattui, who also owns and operates the V. Sattui Winery named after his great-grandfather, Vittorio Sattui, who originally established a winery in San Francisco in 1885 after emigrating from Italy to California. ( Castello di Amorosa – Wikipedia )

Do You Even LIFT BRO?l

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Mount San Jacinto State Park 

What is a pretzel’s favorite dance?

The twist.

Interesting Facts: The Palm Springs Aerial Tramway in Palm Springs, California, is the largest rotating aerial tramway in the world. It was opened in September 1963 as a way of getting from the floor of the Coachella Valley to near the top of San Jacinto Peak and was constructed in rugged Chino Canyon. Before its construction, the only way to the top of the mountain was to hike hours from Idyllwild. The rotating cars were added in 2000. ( Palm Springs Aerial Tramway – Wikipedia)

A Good Mood Is Like A Balloon, One Little Prick Is All It Takes To Ruin It.

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Rio Rancho, New Mexico. 

Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Well, I’m not going to spread it!

Interesting Fact: The great majority of Rio Rancho was originally part of the Town of Alameda Grant, which was founded by Spanish settlers in 1710. By the early 20th century, much of the land grant had been sold to land investment companies. Amrep Corporation purchased 55,000 acres (22,000 ha) in 1961 and turned the land into a housing development called “Rio Rancho Estates”, with the first families moving in the early 1960s. Amrep contracted with Ezio Valentini, one of the original developers of Cape Coral, Florida, to design and implement a unique marketing plan to conduct land-sales, dinner-party program in northern states to open offices in 14 states. The population grew ten-fold between 1970 and 1980 and the City of Rio Rancho was incorporated in 1981. The opening of a large Intel Corporation plant in 1981 had a major economic impact on the city. ( Rio Rancho, New Mexico – Wikipedia )

 

 

Happy New Year! Here’s To Having A Fresh Start At Binge Eating, Boozing, And Slacking Off!

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What Does it Mean If You Were Born In September?

That your parents started the new year with a BANG!

Interesting Fact: During the Middle Ages in Western Europe, while the Julian calendar was still in use, authorities moved New Year’s Day, depending upon locale, to one of several other days, including March 1, March 25, Easter, September 1, and December 25. Beginning in 1582, the adoptions of the Gregorian calendar has meant that many national or local dates in the Western World and beyond have changed to using one fixed date for New Year’s Day, January 1. ( New Year – Wikipedia )

I’m So High!

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Red-tailed Hawk

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.

“What’s wrong, dearest?” asked the confused husband.

“Oh darling,” sobbed the wife,

“I was cleaning little Jen’s room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?”

“Well,” replied the man, “I guess a spanking is out of the question?”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known wild Red-tailed Hawk was at least 30 years, 8 months old when it was found in Michigan in 2011, the same state where it had been banded in 1981. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/overview )

Together We Fly!

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Mallard

As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field.

But hay, it’s in my jeans.

Interesting Fact: Mallards, like other ducks, shed all their flight feathers at the end of the breeding season and are flightless for 3–4 weeks. They are secretive during this vulnerable time, and their body feathers molt into a concealing “eclipse” plumage that can make them hard to identify. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard )

HELLO From The Other Side!

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American Kestrel

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

“I love you with all my art!”

Interesting Fact: It can be tough being one of the smallest birds of prey. Despite their fierce lifestyle, American Kestrels end up as prey for larger birds such as Northern Goshawks, Red-tailed Hawks, Barn Owls, American Crows, and Sharp-shinned and Cooper’s Hawks, as well as rat snakes, corn snakes, and even fire ants. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Kestrel )