Yes I Walked Away Mid-Conversation. You Were Boring Me To Death And My Survival Instincts Kicked In.

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 400.

Great Blue Heron 

What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny!

Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons can hunt day and night thanks to a high percentage of rod-type photoreceptors in their eyes that improve their night vision. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron )

 

Shh… I’m Hiding From Negative People.

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 320.

Northern Flicker 

What did the math text book say to the Shakespeare text book?

I’ve already got a lot of problems, and I don’t need any of your drama.

Interesting Fact: Although it can climb up the trunks of trees and hammer on wood like other woodpeckers, the Northern Flicker prefers to find food on the ground. Ants are its main food, and the flicker digs in the dirt to find them. It uses its long barbed tongue to lap up the ants. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Flicker/ )

 

 

When In Doubt Chill Out!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 250.

Great Blue Heron

Why was strawberry sad?

Because her mom was in a jam.

Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons nest mainly in trees, but will also nest on the ground, on bushes, in mangroves, and on structures such as duck blinds, channel markers, or artificial nest platforms. Males arrive at the colony and settle on nest sites; from there, they court passing females. Colonies can consist of 500 or more individual nests, with multiple nests per tree built 100 or more feet off the ground. ( https://throughopenlens.com/tag/great-blue-heron/ )

Danger Mouth Operates Faster Than Brain!

F/10.0, 1/640, ISO 250.

Belted Kingfisher

What did the salad say to the fridge?

Shut the door, I’m dressing!

Interesting Fact: Pleistocene fossils of Belted Kingfishers (to 600,000 years old) have been unearthed in Florida, Virginia, Tennessee, and Texas. The oldest known fossil in the kingfisher genus is 2 million years old, found in Alachua County, Florida. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Belted_Kingfisher )

 

 

 

OH SH*T!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Tree Swallow

Why do ghosts ride in elevators?

It keeps their spirits up.

Interesting Fact: They bathe by flying low over the water and skimming their bodies against the surface, then rising quickly while shaking off droplets. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

Don’t Look Back You’re Not Going That Way

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 220.

Least Sandpiper

Browsing in a pet shop, a man sees a beautiful parrot with a red
string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to its right
leg, and asks the store owner about the different colored strings.
“This is a highly-trained parrot,” the owner explains. “If you
pull the red string, he’ll speak French.  If you pull the green
string, he’ll speak Spanish.”
The customer asks, “What happens if I pull both strings?”
“I’ll fall off my perch, dummy!” screeches the parrot.

Interesting Fact: Eastern populations probably fly nonstop over the ocean from the Gulf of St. Lawrence and New England to wintering grounds in northeastern South America, a distance of about 1,800 to 2,500 miles. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Least_Sandpiper/lifehistory )

 

Sing… The World Needs Your Music In It.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Eastern Wood-Pewee

Why can’t you write with a broken pencil?

Because it’s pointless.

Interesting Fact: The Eastern Wood-Pewee’s lichen-covered nest is so inconspicuous that it often looks like a knot on a branch. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Eastern_Wood-Pewee )

 

 

My Life Feels Like A Test I Didn’t Study For.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Peregrine Falcon

What is the difference between inlaws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted! (or You can shoot outlaws!)

Interesting Fact: When hunting, Peregrines start by watching from a high perch or by flapping slowly or soaring at great height. Stoops begin 300–3,000 feet above their prey and end either by grabbing the prey or by striking it with the feet hard enough to stun or kill it. They then catch the bird and bite through the neck to kill it. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Peregrine_Falcon/lifehistory )

 

Fly Above The Negativity!

F/6.3, 1/1000, ISO 500.

Great Blue Heron 

Why was Frosty told to leave the grocery store?

Because he was caught picking his nose in the produce isle.

Interesting Fact: Despite their impressive size, Great Blue Herons weigh only 5 to 6 pounds thanks in part to their hollow bones—a feature all birds share.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/overview )

 

Time Is Just Flying By

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 250.

Northern Pintail Duck 

A man walks into an army surplus store and asks if they have any camouflage jackets.

“Yes, we do,” replies the assistant. “But we can’t find any of them.”

Interesting Fact: The female makes several scrapes in the ground before she starts building the nest, ultimately choosing the last scrape made. She slowly adds grasses and down to the depression while laying eggs to form a shallow bowl approximately 7–10 inches wide and 2–4 inches deep. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Pintail/lifehistory )