Duck You Sucker

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 200.

Wood Duck

A really big drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”

“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.

“Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”

Interesting Fact: Wood Ducks seem to fare best when open water alternates with 50–75% vegetative cover that the ducks can hide and forage in. This cover can consist of downed trees, shrubs such as alder, willow, and buttonbush, as well as emergent herbaceous plants such as arrowhead and smartweeds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory )

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Eat My Bubbles!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Merganser  

Tom and Bobby are talking:

Bobby: “Holy crap, I just fell off a 50 ft ladder.”

Tom: “Oh my God, are you okay?”

Bobby: “Yeah it’s a good thing I fell off the first step.”

Interesting Fact: Its breedinghabitat is freshwater lakes and rivers across northern North America, Greenland, Europe, and Asia. It nests in sheltered locations on the ground near water. It is migratory and many northern breeders winter in coastalwaters further south. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-breasted_merganser#Behaviour )

Don’t You Flap Your Wings At Me!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Hooded Merganser

In School

Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Bob, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Bob: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”

Interesting Fact:  The Hooded Merganser is the second-smallest of the six living species of mergansers (only the Smew of Eurasia is smaller) and is the only one restricted to North America. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/lifehistory )

Eat Like No One Is Watching You!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Merganser  

Why do bananas use sunscreen?

Because they peel.

Interesting Fact: The red-breasted merganser (Mergus serrator) is a diving duck, one of the sawbills. The genus name is a Latin word used by Pliny and other Roman authors to refer to an unspecified waterbird, and serrator is a sawyer from Latin serra, “saw”.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-breasted_merganser#Behaviour )

Let’s Swim Away Together!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Wood Ducks

A man and a woman have just had their 50th wedding anniversary.

The husband turns to his wife and asks, “What do you want to do to celebrate our anniversary dear?”

She replies, “Let’s run upstairs and make love.”

He turns to her and says, “Well make up your mind, we can’t do both!”

Interesting Fact: Egg-dumping, or “intraspecific brood parasitism” is common in Wood Ducks—females visit other Wood Duck cavities, lay eggs in them, and leave them to be raised by the other female. This may have been made more common by the abundance and conspicuousness of artificial nest boxes; in some areas it happens in more than half of all nests. Individual females typically lay 10-11 eggs per clutch, but some very full nests have been found containing 29 eggs, the result of egg-dumping. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory#behavior )

When you are with the right person, every day is Valentine’s Day!

Happy Valentines Day

F/5.6, 1/1600, ISO 400.

Mute Swan

What’s the best part about Valentines Day?

The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.

Interesting Fact:  The Mute Swan is reported to mate for life. However, changing of mates does occur infrequently, and swans will remate if their partner dies. If a male loses his mate and pairs with a young female, she joins him on his territory. If he mates with an older female, they go to hers. If a female loses her mate, she remates quickly and usually chooses a younger male.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

Rain Makes Everything Wet

F/6.3, 1/125, ISO 320.

Red-breasted Merganser

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up.

One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised.

She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?”

He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

Interesting Fact: The fastest duck ever recorded was a red-breasted merganser that attained a top airspeed of 100 mph while being pursued by an airplane. This eclipsed the previous speed record held by a canvasback clocked at 72 mph. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-breasted_merganser )

Which Way Do We Go?

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Ruddy Ducks

Where do sheep go to get haircuts?

To the Baa Baa shop!

Interesting Fact: Ruddy Ducks spend the vast majority of their time on the water. They are fast fliers but have little maneuverability in the air, and they tend to swim and dive rather than fly to escape predators—which include Red-tailed Hawks, Great Horned Owls, mink, raccoons, and red foxes.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruddy_Duck/lifehistory )

Grow Old With Me.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Mergansers

Why did the boy eat his homework?

Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!

Interesting Fact: The oldest recorded Red-breasted Merganser was a female, and at least 9 years, 6 months old when she was shot in Alaska, the same state where she had been banded. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-breasted_Merganser/lifehistory )

Emo Ducks

red-breasted-mergansers

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Mergansers

Is it dangerous to swim on a full stomach?

Yes. It’s better to swim in water.

Interesting Fact: The Red-breasted Merganser breeds farther north and winters farther south than the other American mergansers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-breasted_Merganser/lifehistory )