A Wise Duck Once Told Me “QUACK” And He Meant It!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 125.

White-cheeked pintail

Why did the student wear eye-glasses in math class?

It improved DiVision!

Interesting Fact: White-cheeked Pintail: Large, heavily spotted dark and light brown duck with striking white cheek patches, blue bill with bright red base, buff pointed tail. Legs and feet are blue-gray. Feeds on aquatic plants, small invertebrates. Swift direct flight with strong rapid wing beats. AKA Bahama Duck. ( https://identify.whatbird.com/obj/1029/overview/White-cheeked_Pintail.aspx )

Drink Water Suprise Your Liver!!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 200.

Wood Duck

Want to hear a pizza joke…. nah, it’s too cheesy.

What about a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one.

Interesting Fact:  Courting males swim before a female with wings and tail elevated, sometimes tilting the head backwards for a few seconds. Males may also perform ritualized drinking, preening, and shaking movements. Both members of a pair may preen each other. (  https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory  )

I Am Coming For You!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 400.

Ruddy Duck ( Juvenile ) 

Why are elephants such poor dancers?

Because they have two left feet.

Interesting Fact: Ruddy Ducks get harassed by Horned Grebes, Pied-billed Grebes, and American Coots during the breeding season. The grebes sometimes attack Ruddy Ducks from below the water, a behavior known as “submarining.” ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruddy_Duck )

People Say Nothing Is Impossible, But I Do Nothing Every Day.

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Ruddy Duck 

Why are mountains so funny?

Because they are hill areas.

Interesting Fact: Most males pair up with one female each for the duration of the breeding season, but some take multiple mates. Their eggs are proportionally the largest of all waterfowl. The ducklings hatch well-developed and active, receiving minimal care from the mother and none from the father. Ducklings are preyed upon by Black-crowned Night-Herons, Ring-billed Gulls, California Gulls, mink, and raccoons. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruddy_Duck/lifehistory )

 

I Chill Harder Than You Party!

F/ 6.3, 1/60, ISO 320.

Wood Duck

What are those things you blow on and make wishes?

Breathalyzers

Interesting Fact: They are strong fliers and can reach speeds of 30 mph. Wood Ducks are not territorial, with the exception that a male may fight off other males that approach his mate too closely.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory )

Once You Stop Chasing The Wrong Things, The Right Ones Catch You.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 160.

Wood Duck

How does a man show he’s planning for the future?

He buys two cases of Beer instead of one.

Interesting Fact: Wood ducks cavities are typically places where a branch has broken off and the tree’s heartwood has subsequently rotted. Woodpecker cavities are used less frequently. Wood Ducks cannot make their own cavities. The nest tree is normally situated near to or over water, though Wood Ducks will use cavities up to 1.2 miles from water. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory )

 

 

Quack, Damn You!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 160.

White-Cheeked Pintail 

Did you hear the one about the airplane?

Oh, never mind, it’s probably over your head.

Joke provided by:  Russell Smith ecstaticeclectica.com

Interesting Fact: The White-cheeked Pintail was first described in 1758 by Carolus Linnaeus, Swedish botanist, physician and zoologist. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/1029/overview/White-cheeked_Pintail.aspx )

 

 

He Is On My Tail!

F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 160.

Wood Duck

What do you call an old snowman?

Water!

Interesting Fact: Breeding pairs search for nest cavities during early morning. The male stands outside as the female enters and examines the site. They typically choose a tree more than 1 foot and often 2 feet in diameter, with a cavity anywhere from 2–60 feet high (higher sites seem to be preferred). ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory

 

 

Do You Think I Give A Quack!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 160.

Wood Duck

Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

Interesting Fact: Natural cavities for nesting are scarce, and the Wood Duck readily uses nest boxes provided for it. If nest boxes are placed too close together, many females lay eggs in the nests of other females. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck )

Duck You Sucker

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 200.

Wood Duck

A really big drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”

“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.

“Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”

Interesting Fact: Wood Ducks seem to fare best when open water alternates with 50–75% vegetative cover that the ducks can hide and forage in. This cover can consist of downed trees, shrubs such as alder, willow, and buttonbush, as well as emergent herbaceous plants such as arrowhead and smartweeds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory )