If You Talking About My Neck, I’m Not Responsible For What Happens Next…

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Great Egret 

Why are pirates so mean?

I don’t know, they just arrrrrrrrr!

Interesting Fact: Males choose the display areas, where nests are later constructed. The nest itself is up to 100 feet off the ground, often over water, usually in or near the top of a shrub or tree such as a redwood, tamarisk, live oak, eastern redcedar, yaupon holly, wax myrtle, mangrove, Australian pine, buttonwood, Brazilian pepper, black willow, or privet. Great Egrets occasionally nest on the ground or on artificial platforms. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret/lifehistory )

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Look Into My Eyes And Jump Into My Mouth… Fish!

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Green Heron

Where do bees go to the bathroom?

At the BP station!

Interesting Fact: Both the male and female brood and feed the chicks, which may stay with their parents for more than a month after leaving the nest, as they learn to forage. Green Herons protect their feeding areas by driving away other species, such as American Coots, that approach too closely. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )

You See Me Rollin!

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Great Egret

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school?

Bison.

Interesting Fact: The Great Egret walks with its neck extended and its wings held close to its body. In flight, it is graceful and buoyant, with its neck tucked back against its shoulders and its legs trailing behind. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret/lifehistory )

Peek A Boo, I See You!

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Green Heron

Patient: “Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in several places”

Doctor: “Well don’t go to those places.”

Interesting Fact: Each breeding season, Green Herons pair up with one mate apiece, performing courtship displays that include stretching their necks, snapping their bills, flying with exaggerated flaps, and calling loudly. They often nest solitarily, although they may join colonies with other Green Herons or with other species. They defend breeding areas from each other and from birds like crows and grackles that prey on their nests. Other predators include snakes and raccoons. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )

I Forgot My Swimsuit!

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Pied-Billed Grebe

Breaking news!

Energizer Bunny arrested – charged with battery!

Interesting Fact: Pied-billed Grebes are fairly poor fliers and typically stay on the water—although rare individuals have managed to fly as far as the Hawaiian Islands, Europe, the Azores, and the Canary Islands. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Pied-billed_Grebe/ )

I Used My Last “Chill-Pill” Yesturday. This Is Your ONLY Warning!

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Palmchat

What happened when you go inside with a snowsuit on?

It melts

Interesting Fact: The breeding season is mainly from March to June. The birds build large, messy, communal nests of twigs in the crowns of palms (mainly royal palms Roystonea sp.). Occasionally, in the absence of palms, other trees or even telephone poles, may be used. The whole nesting structure may be up to 2 m across, containing up to 30 adjoining nests with their own separate chambers and entrances. The females lay clutches of 2-4 thickly spotted, grey-purple eggs.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palmchat )

Shh… I’m Hiding From Negative People.

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Green Heron

Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy!

Interesting Fact: Occasionally Green Herons hunt in deeper water by plunging on prey from above. They hunt at all times of the day and night in the shallows of swamps, creeks, marshes, ditches, ponds, and mangroves. They usually forage among thick vegetation in water that is less than 4 inches deep, avoiding the deeper and more open areas frequented by longer-legged herons. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )

Does Running Late Count As Exercise?

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Gray Kingbird

What do bulls do when they go shopping?

They CHARGE!

Interesting Fact: Gray kingbirds wait on an exposed perch high in a tree, occasionally sallying out to feed on insects, their staple diet. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gray_kingbird  )

You Never Realize How Boring Your Life Is Until Someone Asks What You Like To Do For Fun.

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Palmchat

What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and wooden engine?

It wooden go!

Interesting Fact: The species is endemic to the island of Hispaniola (Haiti and the Dominican Republic), including the adjacent Saona and Gonâve Islands, where it is common and widespread. It inhabits areas from sea-level to 1500 m asl where palm savannas can be found, or other open areas with scattered trees. Where its food trees are present, it has adapted well to city parks and gardens.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palmchat )

Cliffhanger!

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Green Heron

Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?

So he could tie the score.

Interesting Fact: The oldest Green Heron on record was at least 7 years, 11 months old when it was found in Mexico in 1979. It had been banded in Oklahoma in 1971. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron )