Everything In Your Life Is Reflection Of A Choice You Have Made, If You Want A Difrent Result, Make A Different Choice.

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Mute Swan

A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, “1 enemy ship on the horizont.”

The captain says, “Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die.”

So the watchman comes to him and asks, “Why did you want your red shirt?”

The captain says, “Because if i get injured they won’t see and keep on fighting.”

So the watchman comes to him again and says, “20 enemy ships on the horizont.”

The captain says, “Bring me my brown pants.”

Interesting Fact:  Mute Swans can adapt to degraded habitat and actually benefit from the spread of the invasive common reed Phragmites australis, which flourishes in disturbed sites. As the reeds spread into lakes and ponds, the swans can build nests farther offshore in the reed beds, where they’re safer from egg predators. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

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A Top Of The Tree To You

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Great Blue Heron

A neutron walks into a bar and says,

“I’d like a beer. How much will that be?”

The bartender responds,

“For you? No charge!”

Interesting Fact:  Great Blue Herons congregate at fish hatcheries, creating potential problems for the fish farmers. A study found that herons ate mostly diseased fish that would have died shortly anyway. Sick fish spent more time near the surface of the water where they were more vulnerable to the herons.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )

I Had A Very Unhappy Egghood…

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Brown-headed Cowbird

What did the traffic light say to the car?

Don’t look, I’m changing.

Interesting Fact: Cowbird eggs hatch faster than other species eggs, giving cowbird nestlings a head start in getting food from the parents. Young cowbirds also develop at a faster pace than their nest mates, and they sometimes toss out eggs and young nestlings or smother them in the bottom of the nest. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown-headed_Cowbird/lifehistory )

 

 

 

It’s Better To Swallow Words Than To Have To Eat Them Later

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Tree Swallow

What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?

Flood lights!

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows have helped researchers make major advances in several branches of ecology, and they are among the best-studied bird species in North America. Still, we know little about their lives during migration and winter. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

Do Not Cross Me I Have My Fancy Pants On Today!

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Snowy Egret

What did the triangle say to the circle?

You are pointless!

Interesting Fact: Male Snowy Egrets fight for breeding territories, choose nest sites, and perform noisy courtship displays to attract mates. A ring of other egrets often gathers around a displaying male as he pumps his body up and down, points his bill skyward, and calls. He also performs aerial displays, including one that ends with him dropping toward the ground while tumbling around and around. After pairing up, Snowy Egrets continue defending the immediate area around the nest, raising their crests and giving rasping calls. Some of their nest predators include raccoons, Great Horned Owls, Barred Owls, American Crows, Fish Crows, American alligators, and gray rat snakes. Highly social all year long, Snowy Egrets forage with gulls, terns, ibises, and other herons, and they nest in colonies alongside many other species, including Great Egrets, night-herons, Glossy Ibises, Little Blue Herons, Tricolored Herons, Cattle Egrets, and Roseate Spoonbills. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Snowy_Egret/lifehistory )

Baby Time!

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Canada Goose Goslings

What did the blanket say to the bed?

Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!

Interesting Fact: Canada Geese eat grain from fields, graze on grass, and dabble in shallow water by tipping forward and extending their necks underwater. During much of the year they associate in large flocks, and many of these birds may be related to one another. They mate for life with very low “divorce rates,” and pairs remain together throughout the year. Geese mate “assortatively,” larger birds choosing larger mates and smaller ones choosing smaller mates; in a given pair, the male is usually larger than the female. Most Canada Geese do not breed until their fourth year; less than 10 percent breed as yearlings, and most pair bonds are unstable until birds are at least two or three years old. Extra-pair copulations have been documented. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/lifehistory )

Something Is Flickering!

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Northern Flicker

What did the math book say to its therapist?

I’ve got a lot of problems.

Interesting Fact: Northern Flickers usually excavate nest holes in dead or diseased tree trunks or large branches. In northern North America look for nests in trembling aspens, which are susceptible to a heartrot that makes for easy excavation. Unlike many woodpeckers, flickers often reuse cavities that they or another species excavated in a previous year. Nests are generally placed 6-15 feet off the ground, but on rare occasions can be over 100 feet high. Northern Flickers have been known to nest in old burrows of Belted Kingfishers or Bank Swallows. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Flicker/lifehistory )

Chip And Dale!

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Eastern chipmunks

What did the lawyer name his daughter?

Sue.

Interesting Fact: It can climb trees well, but constructs underground nests with extensive tunnel systems, often with several entrances. To hide the construction of its burrow, the eastern chipmunk carries soil to a different location in its cheek pouches. It also lines the burrow with leaves, rocks, sticks, and other material, making it even harder to see. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eastern_chipmunk )

 

I Claim This Branch!

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Eastern Phoebe 

Why can’t you take a nap during a race?

Because if you snooze, you loose!

Interesting Fact: The Eastern Phoebe is a loner, rarely coming in contact with other phoebes. Even members of a mated pair do not spend much time together. They may roost together early in pair formation, but even during egg laying the female frequently chases the male away from her. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Eastern_Phoebe/lifehistory )

For That Reason, I’M OUT!

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Common Gallinule

Wanna hear a joke about construction?

Never mind, I’m still working on it.

Interesting Fact: Common Gallinules nest in marshes, lakes, and ponds with emergent vegetation. They tend to build nests on top of thick mats of aquatic plants near the water’s edge, but sometimes nest in trees or shrubs. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Gallinule/lifehistory )