Release The Quackin!

ring-necked-ducks

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Ring-necked Ducks

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

Because it’s pointless!

Interesting Fact: During fall migration, Ring-necked Ducks can form immense flocks. Several hundred thousand congregate each fall on certain lakes in Minnesota to feed on wild rice. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-necked_Duck/lifehistory )

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It Time To Get My Beak Wet!

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Common Loon ( Nonbreeding adult )

Where do snowmen keep their money?

In snow banks.

Interesting Fact: Loons are like airplanes in that they need a runway for takeoff. In the case of loons, they need from 30 yards up to a quarter-mile (depending on the wind) for flapping their wings and running across the top of the water in order to gain enough speed for lift-off. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Loon )

I Heard Of Skipping Rocks But I Never Seen A Skipping Ducks

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Common Merganser

Did you hear the watermelon joke?

It’s pitful.

Interesting Fact: Common Mergansers spend much of their time afloat, loafing, fishing, and often sleeping on open water. They may form flocks of up to 75 individuals. They often swim in small groups along the shoreline, dipping their heads underwater to search for prey and then diving with a slight leap. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )

Chill The Duck Out!

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Ring-necked Duck

Why did the duck go to jail?

Because he got caught selling quack.

Interesting Fact: Ring-necked Ducks on their breeding grounds occasionally get attacked by the much larger Common Loon, the Red-necked Grebe, and even the much smaller Pied-billed Grebe. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-necked_Duck/lifehistory )

If I’m Going To Get Wet, I May As Well Swim.

horned-grebe

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Horned Grebe

Why won’t they allow elephants in public swimming pools?

Because they might let down their trunks.

Interesting Fact: The Horned Grebe regularly eats some of its own feathers, enough that its stomach usually contains a matted plug of them. This plug may function as a filter or may hold fish bones in the stomach until they can be digested. The parents even feed feathers to their chicks to get the plug started early. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Horned_Grebe/lifehistory )

Beware Of The Quacks!

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Ring-necked Ducks

Two friends are talking:

Bobby: Where will you be in two years?

Tommy: I don’t know. I don’t have 2020 vision.

Interesting Fact: On migration, Ring-necked Ducks stop to rest and feed on shallow lakes and impoundments with dense stands of cattails, bulrushes, and other emergent vegetation. They can form very large flocks on some lakes. During the winter, look for them in swamps, river floodplains, brackish portions of estuaries, shallow inland lakes, sloughs, marshes, reservoirs, and other managed freshwater impoundments. (  https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-necked_Duck/lifehistory#habitat  )

People That Take Advice From Duck Are Downright Loony

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Common Loon ( Nonbreeding adult )

What computer sings the best?

A Dell.

Interesting Fact: Loons are agile swimmers, but they move pretty fast in the air, too. Migrating loons have been clocked flying at speeds more than 70 mph. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Loon/lifehistory )

I Love Escorting People… I Put An Ad Out For An Escort Service And Got A LOT Of Responses. Mostly Creeps. Made A Few Friends.

common-merganser-1

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Common Merganser

A police officer was escorting a prisoner to jail when his hat blew off.

“Shall I run and get it for you?” asked the prisoner obligingly.

“Do you think I am a fool” said the officer.

“You stand here and I’ll get it.”

Interesting Fact: The oldest Common Merganser on record was a female, and at least 13 years, 5 months old. She was banded in Oklahoma in 1938 and found in Wisconsin in 1950. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )

I Will, I Will, Quack You!

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Canvasback ( Female ) 

Guy in a restaurant calls a waiter over

Guy: “Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup.”

Waiter: “And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?!”

Interesting Fact: The breeding habitat of the canvasback is in North Americaprairie potholes. The bulky nest is built from vegetation in a marsh and lined with down. Loss of nesting habitat has caused populations to decline. The canvasback usually takes a new mate each year, pairing in late winter on ocean bays.[5] It prefers to nest over water on permanent prairie marshes surrounded by emergent vegetation, such as cattails and bulrushes, which provide protective cover. Other important breeding areas are the subarctic river deltas in Saskatchewan and the interior of Alaska. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canvasback )

I Dont Give A DUCK!

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Common Merganser ( Female )

Tom and Bob are talking:

Tom: “I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army.”

Bob: “And…”

Tom: “I had to pay $1000 to cover the loss. I’m starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship. ”

Interesting Fact: Often when one bird dives in a large group, the others follow the leader and disappear. They can stay under for up to 2 minutes, but they normally dive for less than 30 seconds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )