I Have A Date Tonight, With My Bed. We Are Totally Gonna Sleep Together.

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Common Eider ( Female ) 

Where do vegetables go to get drunk?

The Salad Bar.

Interesting Fact: Eiders are colonial breeders. They nest on coastal islands in colonies ranging in size of less than 100 to upwards of 10,000-15,000 individuals.[13] Female eiders frequently exhibit a high degree of natal philopatry, where they return to breed on the same island where they were hatched. This can lead to a high degree of relatedness between individuals nesting on the same island, as well as the development of kin-based female social structures.[14] This relatedness has likely played a role in the evolution of co-operative breeding behaviours amongst eiders. Examples of these behaviours include laying eggs in the nests of related individuals[15] and crèching, where female eiders team up and share the work of rearing ducklings. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_eider )

 

Don’t Be Jealous Of My Beak.

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Common Loon 

Why is sex like math?

You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying!

Interesting Fact: A hungry loon family can put away a lot of fish. Biologists estimate that loon parents and their 2 chicks can eat about a half-ton of fish over a 15-week period.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Loon )

Why The Long Face?

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Common Eider 

What did one toilet say to the other toilet?

You look a bit flushed.

Interesting Facts: This species dives for crustaceans and molluscs, with mussels being a favoured food. The eider will eat mussels by swallowing them whole; the shells are then crushed in their gizzard and excreted. When eating a crab, the eider will remove all of its claws and legs, and then eat the body in a similar fashion. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_eider )

I Feel Loonly.

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Common Loon ( Nonbreeding adult )

What did the chicken say when it got to the library?

“Book book book book book book book…”

Interesting Fact: Migrating Common Loons occasionally land on wet highways or parking lots, mistaking them for rivers and lakes. They become stranded without a considerable amount of open water for a long takeoff. A loon may also get stranded on a pond that is too small. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Loon/ )

I Like To Be Alone But I Hate Being Lonely

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Common Goldeneye

What did the salad say when the cabbage interrupted their meal?

Lettuce alone!

Interesting Fact: The eyes of a Common Goldeneye are gray-brown at hatching. They turn purple-blue, then blue, then green-blue as they age. By five months of age they have become clear pale green-yellow. The eyes will be bright yellow in adult males and pale yellow to white in females. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Goldeneye )

 

F.L.Y. ( First Love Yourself )

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Common Tern

Why do you always see teen girls in groups of three?

Because they literally can’t even.

Interesting Fact: Males and females make a small scrape on the ground. Females add dead vegetation that has washed onshore, shell fragments, bones, stones, and sometimes plastic to the nest scrape before and after laying eggs.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Tern/lifehistory )

 

 

 

Let The Sea Set You Free.

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Common Terns

Why was the math textbook so sad?

He had a lot of problems!

Interesting Fact: The Common Tern is sometimes called the sea swallow. A group of common terns are collectively known as a “committee” of terns. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/mwg/_/0/identify.whatbird.com/obj/465/overview/Common_Tern.aspx )

 

Fish Out Of The Water!

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Common Terns

How do birds fly?

They just wing it!

Interesting Fact: Common Terns nest in colonies on the ground in areas with loose sand, gravel, shell, or cobble pebbles typically less than 350 feet from the water. They tend to choose areas with scattered, low-growing vegetation to provide cover for chicks.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Tern/lifehistory )

You’re Duckie And Thats No Wise Quacky!

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Common Eider ( Males )

What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?

“I hope I didn’t quack any!”

Interesting Fact: A colorful duck of the northern seacoasts, the Common Eider is the largest duck in the Northern Hemisphere. ( https://identify.whatbird.com/obj/1095/overview/Common_Eider.aspx )

Take Off And See Whats Out There!

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Common Merganser ( Female )

Why was the baby strawberry crying?

Because her mom and dad were in a jam.

Interesting Fact: The female chooses the nest site, which is usually in a natural cavity or woodpecker hole in a live or dead tree, up to 100 feet off the ground and within a mile of water. Common Mergansers nest less frequently in rock crevices, old sheds, chimneys, lighthouses, holes in banks, holes in the ground, hollow logs, and burrows. They readily nest in boxes, including those designed for the much smaller Common Goldeneye. Sometimes they nest on the ground. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )