Better Days Are Coming. They Are Called: Saturday And Sunday!

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Common Eider ( Male ) 

How are hockey players like goldfish?

You tap on the glass to get their attention.

Interesting Facts: Common Eiders appear to be monogamous, though males will display to females other than their primary partner. Pairs sometimes reunite in consecutive seasons. During periods of calm weather in autumn, males begin to display, both singly and in groups, tossing their heads, stretching their necks, and flapping their wings while keeping up a soft cooing. Pairs often copulate during fall and winter, well outside of the nesting season. ( Common Eider Life History, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

People That Take Advice From Duck Are Downright Loony

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Common Loon ( Nonbreeding adult )

What computer sings the best?

A Dell.

Interesting Fact: Loons are agile swimmers, but they move pretty fast in the air, too. Migrating loons have been clocked flying at speeds more than 70 mph. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Loon/lifehistory )

I Love Escorting People… I Put An Ad Out For An Escort Service And Got A LOT Of Responses. Mostly Creeps. Made A Few Friends.

common-merganser-1

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Common Merganser

A police officer was escorting a prisoner to jail when his hat blew off.

“Shall I run and get it for you?” asked the prisoner obligingly.

“Do you think I am a fool” said the officer.

“You stand here and I’ll get it.”

Interesting Fact: The oldest Common Merganser on record was a female, and at least 13 years, 5 months old. She was banded in Oklahoma in 1938 and found in Wisconsin in 1950. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )

I Dont Give A DUCK!

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Common Merganser ( Female )

Tom and Bob are talking:

Tom: “I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army.”

Bob: “And…”

Tom: “I had to pay $1000 to cover the loss. I’m starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship. ”

Interesting Fact: Often when one bird dives in a large group, the others follow the leader and disappear. They can stay under for up to 2 minutes, but they normally dive for less than 30 seconds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )

I Heard Of Skipping Rocks But I Never Seen A Skipping Ducks

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Common Merganser

Did you hear the watermelon joke?

It’s pitful.

Interesting Fact: Common Mergansers spend much of their time afloat, loafing, fishing, and often sleeping on open water. They may form flocks of up to 75 individuals. They often swim in small groups along the shoreline, dipping their heads underwater to search for prey and then diving with a slight leap. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )

I Can Fly, Fly Away I Will Rise Up And Fly Away!

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Common Tern ( Juvenile )

Why was the computer tired when he got home?

Because he had a hard drive.

Interesting Fact: The oldest recorded Common Tern was at least 25 years, 1 month old, when it was recaptured and rereleased during banding operations in New York. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Tern/lifehistory )

Good Times And Crazy Friends Make The Best Memories.

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Common Terns 

Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Everyone’s spreading it.

Interesting Fact: Common Terns nest in colonies on the ground in areas with loose sand, gravel, shell, or cobble pebbles typically less than 350 feet from the water. They tend to choose areas with scattered, low-growing vegetation to provide cover for chicks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Tern/lifehistory )

 

I Can Fly! What’s Your Superpower?

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Common Tern

What do you call cheese that is not yours?

Nacho Cheese

Interesting Fact: Plunges into water from flight; may hover briefly before plunging. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Tern/lifehistory )

Ordinarily, Staring is Creepy. But If You Spread Your Attention Across Many Individuals, Then It’s Just People Watching.

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Common Grackle

Tom is sitting on the ice all day fishing with no luck, not even a nibble. Cold and tired he is about to leave, when a guy walks up cuts a hole in the ice beside him, and starts pulling out fish as fast a he can drop his hook in the water. Tom cant believe it, he yells over ” whats your secret?” “woogatkakeptewrwm” he answers back. “what did you say?” replies Tom. The man spits a large ball of worms on the ice and says to Tom, ” you have to keep your worms warm”.

Interesting Fact: Those raggedy figures out in cornfields may be called scare-crows, but grackles are the #1 threat to corn. They eat ripening corn as well as corn sprouts, and their habit of foraging in big flocks means they have a multimillion dollar impact. Some people have tried to reduce their effects by spraying a foul-tasting chemical on corn sprouts or by culling grackles at their roosts. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Grackle/lifehistory )

 

I Have A Date Tonight, With My Bed. We Are Totally Gonna Sleep Together.

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Common Eider ( Female ) 

Where do vegetables go to get drunk?

The Salad Bar.

Interesting Fact: Eiders are colonial breeders. They nest on coastal islands in colonies ranging in size of less than 100 to upwards of 10,000-15,000 individuals.[13] Female eiders frequently exhibit a high degree of natal philopatry, where they return to breed on the same island where they were hatched. This can lead to a high degree of relatedness between individuals nesting on the same island, as well as the development of kin-based female social structures.[14] This relatedness has likely played a role in the evolution of co-operative breeding behaviours amongst eiders. Examples of these behaviours include laying eggs in the nests of related individuals[15] and crèching, where female eiders team up and share the work of rearing ducklings. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_eider )