I Heard Of Skipping Rocks But I Never Seen A Skipping Ducks

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Common Merganser

Did you hear the watermelon joke?

It’s pitful.

Interesting Fact: Common Mergansers spend much of their time afloat, loafing, fishing, and often sleeping on open water. They may form flocks of up to 75 individuals. They often swim in small groups along the shoreline, dipping their heads underwater to search for prey and then diving with a slight leap. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )

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I’m Sorry I Offended You Whith My Common Sense

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Common Murre

Where do polar bears vote?

The North Poll.

Interesting Fact:  In the Atlantic, some populations include “bridled” or “ringed” individuals, which have a white eye-ring and a white line extending backward from the eyes. Bridled birds are more common farther north. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Murre/overview )

If You Have Someting Stupid To Say… Please Raise Your Hand… And Put It Firmly Over Your Mouth!

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Common Yellowthroat ( Female ) 

Why are frogs always so happy?

They eat what ever bugs them

Interesting Fact: The Common Yellowthroat was one of the first bird species to be catalogued from the New World, when a specimen , from Maryland was described by Linnaeus in 1766. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Yellowthroat )/

It Will Be A Good Day As Long As You Won’t Hit Or Bite Anyone!

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Common Yellowthroat

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he neverlands.

Interesting Fact: Each male normally has only one mate in his territory during a breeding season. However, a female’s mating calls often attract other males, and she may mate with them behind her mate’s back. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Yellowthroat/ )

Eat My Shorts, Dude!

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Common Grackle 

Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?

In case they get a hole in one!

Interesting Fact: Grackles have a hard keel on the inside of the upper mandible that they use for sawing open acorns. Typically they score the outside of the narrow end, then bite the acorn open. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Grackle/lifehistory )

People That Take Advice From Duck Are Downright Loony

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Common Loon ( Nonbreeding adult )

What computer sings the best?

A Dell.

Interesting Fact: Loons are agile swimmers, but they move pretty fast in the air, too. Migrating loons have been clocked flying at speeds more than 70 mph. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Loon/lifehistory )

I Love Escorting People… I Put An Ad Out For An Escort Service And Got A LOT Of Responses. Mostly Creeps. Made A Few Friends.

common-merganser-1

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Common Merganser

A police officer was escorting a prisoner to jail when his hat blew off.

“Shall I run and get it for you?” asked the prisoner obligingly.

“Do you think I am a fool” said the officer.

“You stand here and I’ll get it.”

Interesting Fact: The oldest Common Merganser on record was a female, and at least 13 years, 5 months old. She was banded in Oklahoma in 1938 and found in Wisconsin in 1950. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )

I Dont Give A DUCK!

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Common Merganser ( Female )

Tom and Bob are talking:

Tom: “I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army.”

Bob: “And…”

Tom: “I had to pay $1000 to cover the loss. I’m starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship. ”

Interesting Fact: Often when one bird dives in a large group, the others follow the leader and disappear. They can stay under for up to 2 minutes, but they normally dive for less than 30 seconds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )

Are You Loon-ely Tonight?

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Common Loon ( Nonbreeding adult )

What do Snowmen call their offspring?

Chill-dren.

Interesting Fact: Loons are water birds, only going ashore to mate and incubate eggs. Their legs are placed far back on their bodies, allowing efficient swimming but only awkward movement on land. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Loon/lifehistory )

Let The Sea Set You Free.

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Common Terns

Why was the math textbook so sad?

He had a lot of problems!

Interesting Fact: The Common Tern is sometimes called the sea swallow. A group of common terns are collectively known as a “committee” of terns. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/mwg/_/0/identify.whatbird.com/obj/465/overview/Common_Tern.aspx )