Start Every Day With A Smile

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Azaleas

Why are trees very forgiving?

Because in the Fall they “Let It Go” and in the Spring they “turn over a new leaf”.

Interesting Fact:Azaleas/əˈzliə/ are flowering shrubs in the genus Rhododendron, particularly the former sections Tsutsuji (evergreen) and Pentanthera (deciduous). Azaleas bloom in spring, their flowers often lasting several weeks. Shade tolerant, they prefer living near or under trees. They are part of the family Ericaceae.

Play In The Dirt Because Life Is Too Short To Always Have Clean Fingernails.

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Semipalmated Plover

What did one elevator say to the other elevator?

I think I’m coming down with something!

Interesting Fact: Semipalmated plovers forage for food on beaches, tidal flats and fields, usually by sight. They eat insects, crustaceans and worms. This bird resembles the killdeer but is much smaller and has only one band. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semipalmated_plover )

I Consider Myself A Readhead!

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Common Gallinule

Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!

Interesting Fact:  Common Gallinules expanded their range northward during the twentieth century. They started breeding in Pennsylvania for the first time in 1904; now they breed as far north as the Maritime Provinces of Canada. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Gallinule )

Do You Have My Quack?

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Ruddy Duck

Did you hear about the duck with a drug problem?

He was a quackhead.

Interesting Fact:  The oldest Ruddy Duck on record was a male and at least 13 years, 7 months old. He was banded in British Columbia and 1951 and found in Oregon in 1964. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruddy_Duck )

Cliffhanger!

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Green Heron

Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?

So he could tie the score.

Interesting Fact: The oldest Green Heron on record was at least 7 years, 11 months old when it was found in Mexico in 1979. It had been banded in Oklahoma in 1971. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron )

Duck You Sucker

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Wood Duck

A really big drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”

“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.

“Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”

Interesting Fact: Wood Ducks seem to fare best when open water alternates with 50–75% vegetative cover that the ducks can hide and forage in. This cover can consist of downed trees, shrubs such as alder, willow, and buttonbush, as well as emergent herbaceous plants such as arrowhead and smartweeds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory )

Being Unique Is Better… Then Being Perfect.

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Common Gallinule

Why shouldn’t you marry a tennis player?

Because love means nothing to them!

Interesting Fact: The Common Gallinule has long toes that make it possible to walk on soft mud and floating vegetation. The toes have no lobes or webbing to help with swimming, but the gallinule is a good swimmer anyway. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Gallinule )

You Surprised Me Like A Shart.

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Hooded Merganser ( Female )

Why is chicken soccer match a bad idea?

There are too many fowls.

Interesting Fact: Hooded Merganser ducklings leave their nest cavity within 24 hours of hatching. First, their mother checks the area around the nest and calls to the nestlings from ground level. From inside the nest, the little fluffballs scramble up to the entrance hole and then flutter to the ground, which may be 50 feet or more below them. In some cases they have to walk half a mile or more with their mother to the nearest body of water. ( Hooded Merganser Overview, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

Let’s Cuddle So I Can Steal Your Body Heat!

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Green-Winged Teal

Why do fish live in salt water?

Pepper water would make them sneeze.

Interesting Fact:  Green-winged Teals have closely spaced, comblike projections called lamellae around the inner edge of the bill. They use them to filter tiny invertebrates from the water, allowing the birds to capture smaller food items than other dabbling ducks.( Green-winged Teal Overview, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )