Keep Your Beak Clean

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 640.

Ruddy Duck

Can your mother predict the future with cards?

Yes! She takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home.

Interesting Fact: The nest is usually made of dead, dry plant materials, though some are built entirely with green vegetation. It starts as a platform and becomes more bowl-like throughout the construction process, with an inner cup measuring 4–12 inches across and 0.5–5 inches deep. Ruddy Ducks usually weave a canopy of vegetation over their nests. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruddy_Duck/lifehistory )

 

Giggity, Giggity, Quack!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 500.

Ruddy Duck

What did the calculator say to the cashier?

You can count on me.

Interesting Fact:  Most males pair up with one female each for the duration of the breeding season, but some take multiple mates. Their eggs are proportionally the largest of all waterfowl. The ducklings hatch well-developed and active, receiving minimal care from the mother and none from the father. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruddy_Duck/lifehistory )

I Am Happy To See You!

F11.0, 1/500, ISO 400.

Ruddy Ducks

What do you call a bee that lives in America?

A USB

Interesting Fact: Ruddy Ducks are very aggressive toward each other and toward other species, especially during the breeding season. Unlike most ducks, they form pairs only after arriving on the breeding grounds each year. Males perform unusual courtship displays in which they stick their tails straight up while striking their bills against their inflated necks, creating bubbles in the water as air is forced from their feathers. They punctuate the end of the display with a belch-like call. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruddy_Duck/lifehistory )

 

Once You Stop Chasing The Wrong Things, The Right Ones Catch You.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 160.

Wood Duck

How does a man show he’s planning for the future?

He buys two cases of Beer instead of one.

Interesting Fact: Wood ducks cavities are typically places where a branch has broken off and the tree’s heartwood has subsequently rotted. Woodpecker cavities are used less frequently. Wood Ducks cannot make their own cavities. The nest tree is normally situated near to or over water, though Wood Ducks will use cavities up to 1.2 miles from water. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory )

 

 

Which Way Do We Go?

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Ruddy Ducks

Where do sheep go to get haircuts?

To the Baa Baa shop!

Interesting Fact: Ruddy Ducks spend the vast majority of their time on the water. They are fast fliers but have little maneuverability in the air, and they tend to swim and dive rather than fly to escape predators—which include Red-tailed Hawks, Great Horned Owls, mink, raccoons, and red foxes.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruddy_Duck/lifehistory )

Keep Calm And Quack On!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Merganser  

A motorist in a B.M.W. was driving through the countryside on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, having a lovely time, when he came to an area of the road that was covered with a rather large puddle of water from a previous rain storm. Worried that he was going to damage the car and its engine in the deep water, he spotted a nearby farmer and asked how deep the water was. “Arr”, said the local farmer “That water only be a few inches deep!” Relieved, the motorist edged his car into the water, expecting to come out the other side in no time. Instead, as he drove in, the water came right up the side of the car, and the engine sputtered to a halt. Sitting there in his soaking wet luxury car, the motorist yelled at the local angrily: “I thought you said this water was only a few inches deep!!!” “Well,” replied the local farmer “It only come up to the waist of them there ducks!”

Interesting Fact: It prefers salt water more than the other two species of merganser. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/115/overview/Red-breasted_Merganser.aspx )

Grow Old With Me.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Mergansers

Why did the boy eat his homework?

Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!

Interesting Fact: The oldest recorded Red-breasted Merganser was a female, and at least 9 years, 6 months old when she was shot in Alaska, the same state where she had been banded. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-breasted_Merganser/lifehistory )

I Have My Goldeneye On You!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 160.

Common Goldeneye

Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

He felt crummy!

Interesting Fact: In winter and early spring, male Common Goldeneyes perform a complex series of courtship displays that includes up to 14 moves with names like “masthead,” “bowsprit,” and “head throw kick,” in which the male bends his head back to touch his rump, then thrusts forward and kicks up water with his feet. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Goldeneye/

Duck You Sucker

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 200.

Wood Duck

A really big drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”

“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.

“Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”

Interesting Fact: Wood Ducks seem to fare best when open water alternates with 50–75% vegetative cover that the ducks can hide and forage in. This cover can consist of downed trees, shrubs such as alder, willow, and buttonbush, as well as emergent herbaceous plants such as arrowhead and smartweeds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory )

Let’s Swim Away Together!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Wood Ducks

A man and a woman have just had their 50th wedding anniversary.

The husband turns to his wife and asks, “What do you want to do to celebrate our anniversary dear?”

She replies, “Let’s run upstairs and make love.”

He turns to her and says, “Well make up your mind, we can’t do both!”

Interesting Fact: Egg-dumping, or “intraspecific brood parasitism” is common in Wood Ducks—females visit other Wood Duck cavities, lay eggs in them, and leave them to be raised by the other female. This may have been made more common by the abundance and conspicuousness of artificial nest boxes; in some areas it happens in more than half of all nests. Individual females typically lay 10-11 eggs per clutch, but some very full nests have been found containing 29 eggs, the result of egg-dumping. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory#behavior )