I Swear, I Am One Cocktail Away From Telling Everyone What I Really Think!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 160.

Least Sandpiper

A Sandwich walks into a bar.

The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve food here”

Interesting Fact: Researchers studying Least Sandpipers discovered a new feeding mechanism. While probing damp mud with their bills, the sandpipers use the surface tension of the water to transport prey quickly from their bill tips to their mouths. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Least_Sandpiper/ )

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Being Small Works For Me!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 220.

Least Sandpiper

Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

Because he was stuffed.

Interesting Fact: The Least Sandpiper is the smallest shorebird in the world, weighing in at about 1 ounce and measuring 5-6 inches long. Males are slightly smaller than females. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Least_Sandpiper )

Play In The Dirt Because Life Is Too Short To Always Have Clean Fingernails.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Semipalmated Plover

What did one elevator say to the other elevator?

I think I’m coming down with something!

Interesting Fact: Semipalmated plovers forage for food on beaches, tidal flats and fields, usually by sight. They eat insects, crustaceans and worms. This bird resembles the killdeer but is much smaller and has only one band. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semipalmated_plover )

We Are Not Short, We Are Just More Down To Earth Than Other Birds.

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 320.

Least Sandpiper

A termite walks into a bar and says, “Where is the bar tender?”

Interesting Fact: The Least Sandpiper is the smallest shorebird in the world, weighing in at about 1 ounce and measuring 5-6 inches long. Males are slightly smaller than females. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Least_Sandpiper/lifehistory )

Don’t Look Back You’re Not Going That Way

Least Sandpiper

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 220.

Least Sandpiper

Browsing in a pet shop, a man sees a beautiful parrot with a red
string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to its right
leg, and asks the store owner about the different colored strings.
“This is a highly-trained parrot,” the owner explains. “If you
pull the red string, he’ll speak French.  If you pull the green
string, he’ll speak Spanish.”
The customer asks, “What happens if I pull both strings?”
“I’ll fall off my perch, dummy!” screeches the parrot.

Interesting Fact: Eastern populations probably fly nonstop over the ocean from the Gulf of St. Lawrence and New England to wintering grounds in northeastern South America, a distance of about 1,800 to 2,500 miles. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Least_Sandpiper/lifehistory )

Come On In The Water Is Fine

Semipalmated Plover

F/6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.

Semipalmated Plover

Why do birds in a nest always agree?

Because they don’t want to fall out.

Interesting Fact: The Semipalmated Plover has been seen to swim short distances across small water channels during foraging while on migration. Chicks also swim short distances to follow parents to small islets on shallow lakes. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Semipalmated_Plover/lifehistory )

 

 

Tern It Up!

Forster's Tern

F/8.0, 1/1000, ISO 200.

Forster’s Tern

What did the bird say when her boyfriend bought her the wrong perfume?

Cheep cheep!

Interesting Fact: Forster’s Tern is the only tern restricted almost entirely to North America throughout the year. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Forsters_Tern/lifehistory )

Keep Calm And Quack On!

Red-breasted Merganser

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Merganser  

A motorist in a B.M.W. was driving through the countryside on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, having a lovely time, when he came to an area of the road that was covered with a rather large puddle of water from a previous rain storm. Worried that he was going to damage the car and its engine in the deep water, he spotted a nearby farmer and asked how deep the water was. “Arr”, said the local farmer “That water only be a few inches deep!” Relieved, the motorist edged his car into the water, expecting to come out the other side in no time. Instead, as he drove in, the water came right up the side of the car, and the engine sputtered to a halt. Sitting there in his soaking wet luxury car, the motorist yelled at the local angrily: “I thought you said this water was only a few inches deep!!!” “Well,” replied the local farmer “It only come up to the waist of them there ducks!”

Interesting Fact: It prefers salt water more than the other two species of merganser. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/115/overview/Red-breasted_Merganser.aspx )

Quack Pack!

Harlequin Ducks

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 400.

Harlequin Duck  

What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers!

Interesting Fact: Also called the Sea mouse because of its very unducklike squeaks. Other names include Circus duck or painted duck for its beautiful colors. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/360/overview/Harlequin_Duck.aspx )

And Now My Beak Is Stuck!

Marbled Godwit

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 200.

Marbled Godwit

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?

Because they spend years at C!

Interesting Fact: It often inserts its entire bill into the mud, and its head is totally submerged at times. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/251/overview/Marbled_Godwit.aspx )