We Are Looking At You!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Semipalmated Sandpipers

What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers?

The Telephone.

Interesting Fact: The oldest recorded Semipalmated Sandpiper was at least 14 years, 2 months old when it was recaptured and rereleased during banding operations in New Brunswick. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Semipalmated_Sandpiper/overview )

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Play In The Dirt Because Life Is Too Short To Always Have Clean Fingernails.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Semipalmated Plover

What did one elevator say to the other elevator?

I think I’m coming down with something!

Interesting Fact: Semipalmated plovers forage for food on beaches, tidal flats and fields, usually by sight. They eat insects, crustaceans and worms. This bird resembles the killdeer but is much smaller and has only one band. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semipalmated_plover )

They Were Born To Fly And Touch The Sky

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 400.

Semipalmated Sandpipers

What is a bunny’s favorite music?

Hip-hop.

Interesting Fact: The Semipalmated Sandpiper gets its common name from the short webs between its toes (“palmated” means webbed). The Western Sandpiper is the only other small sandpiper with similarly webbed toes. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Semipalmated_Sandpiper/lifehistory )

The Awkward Moment When You’re In Deep Thought, Then Realize You’re Staring Directly at Someone…

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 400.

Ring-billed Gull 

Two guys are talking:

Guy 1: I’m on a whiskey diet.

Guy 2: Really.

Guy 1: I’ve lost three days already.

Interesting Fact: Some Ring-billed Gull nests at study sites in California and Oregon contained pebbles the size and shape of gull eggs. The parents apparently pulled the pebbles into their nests from the surrounding ground, mistaking them for eggs gone astray. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-billed_Gull/lifehistory )

 

 

I May Look Like I’m Having Deep Thoughts, But Really I Need To Fart.

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 400.

Semipalmated Sandpiper

Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?

Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.

Interesting Fact:  Semipalmated Sandpipers from eastern populations probably undertake nonstop transoceanic flights of 3,000 – 4,000 km (1,900 – 2,500 mi) from New England and southern Canada to South America, powered by extensive fat reserves. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Semipalmated_Sandpiper/lifehistory )

 

We Are Not Short, We Are Just More Down To Earth Than Other Birds.

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 320.

Least Sandpiper

A termite walks into a bar and says, “Where is the bar tender?”

Interesting Fact: The Least Sandpiper is the smallest shorebird in the world, weighing in at about 1 ounce and measuring 5-6 inches long. Males are slightly smaller than females. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Least_Sandpiper/lifehistory )

I Can Fly! What’s Your Superpower?

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 160.

Common Tern

What do you call cheese that is not yours?

Nacho Cheese

Interesting Fact: Plunges into water from flight; may hover briefly before plunging. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Tern/lifehistory )

Look Out I’m A Biter!

Shark Week 2016

Bull Shark

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 320.

Deadliest Shark In The World

Bull Shark ( Baby )

For five years, two sharks and a dolphin have worked side by side every day as window washers, and every night after work they stopped for a drink. One day, disaster struck, and the dolphin fell to his death. The police came to the site and began asking questions. “Where does he live?” The sharks shrugged their shoulders. “Is he married?” The sharks didn’t know. “What is his name?” The sharks shrugged again. “You worked with this guy for five years and you don’t know anything about him?” the cop asked. “I know something about him,” one shark volunteered. “He has two assholes.” “What are you talking about?” said the cop. “Well,” said the shark, “Whenever we go for a drink after work the bartended says, ‘Here comes the dolphin with the two assholes.'”

Interesting Fact:  Bull sharks are aggressive, common, and usually live near high-population areas like tropical shorelines. They are not bothered by brackish and freshwater, and even venture far inland via rivers and tributaries. ( http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/fish/bull-shark/ )

 

Don’t Look Back You’re Not Going That Way

Least Sandpiper

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 220.

Least Sandpiper

Browsing in a pet shop, a man sees a beautiful parrot with a red
string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to its right
leg, and asks the store owner about the different colored strings.
“This is a highly-trained parrot,” the owner explains. “If you
pull the red string, he’ll speak French.  If you pull the green
string, he’ll speak Spanish.”
The customer asks, “What happens if I pull both strings?”
“I’ll fall off my perch, dummy!” screeches the parrot.

Interesting Fact: Eastern populations probably fly nonstop over the ocean from the Gulf of St. Lawrence and New England to wintering grounds in northeastern South America, a distance of about 1,800 to 2,500 miles. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Least_Sandpiper/lifehistory )

Come On In The Water Is Fine

Semipalmated Plover

F/6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.

Semipalmated Plover

Why do birds in a nest always agree?

Because they don’t want to fall out.

Interesting Fact: The Semipalmated Plover has been seen to swim short distances across small water channels during foraging while on migration. Chicks also swim short distances to follow parents to small islets on shallow lakes. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Semipalmated_Plover/lifehistory )