You Need A Bodyguard To Go Out

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Brant Goose

What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

Interesting Fact: It used to be a strictly coastal bird in winter, seldom leaving tidal estuaries, where it feeds on eel-grass (Zostera marina) and the seaweed, sea lettuce (Ulva). On the east coast of North America, the inclusion of sea lettuce is a recent change to their diet, brought about by a blight on eelgrass in 1931. This resulted in the near-extirpation of the brant. The few that survived changed their diet to include sea lettuce until the eelgrass eventually began to return. Brants have maintained this diet ever since as a survival strategy.[6] In recent decades, it has started using agricultural land a short distance inland, feeding extensively on grass and winter-sown cereals. This may be behavior learned by following other species of geese. Food resource pressure may also be important in forcing this change, as the world population has risen over 10-fold to 400,000-500,000 by the mid-1980s, possibly reaching the carrying capacity of the estuaries. In the breeding season, it uses low-lying wet coastal tundra for both breeding and feeding. The nest is bowl-shaped, lined with grass and down, in an elevated location, often in a small pond. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brant_(goose) )

Hey There Ace!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 220.

Brant Goose

What did the big flower say to the little one?

You’re really growing, bud!

Interesting Fact: The oldest recorded Brant was a female, and was over 27 years, 6 months old. It had been banded in Alaska and was found in Washington. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brant )

Let Me Play In The Mud!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 160.

Semipalmated Sandpiper

What is the difference between erotic and kinky?

Erotic is using a feather… kinky is using the whole chicken.

Interesting Fact: Their breeding habitat is the southern tundra in Canada and Alaska near water. They nest on the ground. The male makes several shallow scrapes; the female chooses one and adds grass and other material to line the nest. The female lays 4 eggs; the male assists in incubation. After a few days, the female leaves the young with the male; the young feed themselves. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semipalmated_sandpiper )

 

Don’t Stand So, Don’t Stand So, Don’t Stand So, Close To Me!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 125.

Semipalmated Sandpipers 

Where do you learn to make ice cream?

Sundae school.

Interesting Fact: Semipalmated Sandpipers from eastern populations probably undertake nonstop transoceanic flights of 3,000 – 4,000 km (1,900 – 2,500 mi) from New England and southern Canada to South America, powered by extensive fat reserves. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Semipalmated_Sandpiper/ )

That’s Not A Wild Goose Chase. That’s Bingo.

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 400.

Domestic Geese in Wild

Which two letters in the alphabet are always jealous?

NV.

Interesting Fact: In Europe, northern Africa, and western Asia, the original domesticated geese are derived from the greylag goose Anser anser. In eastern Asia, the original domesticated geese are derived from the swan goose Anser cygnoides; these are commonly known as Chinese geese. Both have been widely introduced in more recent times, and modern flocks in both areas (and elsewhere, such as Australia and North America) may consist of either species, and/or hybrids between them. Chinese geese may be readily distinguished from European geese by the large knob at the base of the bill, though hybrids may exhibit every degree of variation between them. ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_goose )

I Think We’re Going To Need A Bigger Rock!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 200.

American Black Ducks ( Juveniles )

Why can’t you trust an atom?

Because they make up everything.

Interesting Fact:  Normally found in eastern North America, American Black Ducks occasionally show up on the West Coast, Europe, and even Asia. Some of these birds may be escaped pets, but others are known to be wild ducks: for instance, one female banded in New Brunswick, Canada, turned up later in France. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Black_Duck/lifehistory )

 

If You Can’t Convince Them, Confuse Them.

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 200.

Brant

What kind of shoes do you make with banana skins?

Slippers!

Interesting Fact: The Brant is also known as the Brent Goose. The spelling “Brant” is the original one, with “Brent” being a later folk-etymological idea that it was derived from a classical Greek water bird name brenthos. It actually came from the guttural call note of the species. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/290/overview/Brant.aspx )

 

 

I Have A Funny Feeling It’s Going To Be One Of Those Days!

F/5.6, 1/125, ISO 250.

Black Vulture

A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster. As soon as he brings him home, the
young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmers hens. The farmer is impressed.
At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer is not just impressed anymore,he is worried. Next morning,not only is the rooster screwin…g the hens but he is screwing the turkeys,ducks even the cow.
Later farmer looks out into the barnyard and finds the rooster stretched out, limp as a rag, his eyes closed, dead and vultures circling overhead.
The farmer runs out, looks down at the young roosters limp body and says: “You deserved it, you horny bastard!”
And the young rooster opens one eye, points up at the vultures with his wing, and says, Shhhh!,they are about to land.”

Interesting Fact: One-on-one at a carcass, Black Vultures lose out to the slightly larger Turkey Vulture. But flocks of Black Vultures can quickly take over a carcass and drive the more solitary Turkey Vultures away. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black_Vulture/lifehistory )

Sometimes I Get Road Rage From Standing In Lines.

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 125.

Semipalmated Sandpipers

Why do ghosts ride in elevators?

It keeps their spirits up.

Interesting Fact: Semipalmated Sandpiper: Breeds in lower Arctic regions from western Alaska to Labrador. Migrates through central North America to the Atlantic coast to reach its wintering grounds, which extend from the extreme southern U.S. to the Caribbean Islands and South America. Preferred habitats include shorelines and mudflats. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/427/overview/Semipalmated_Sandpiper.aspx )

 

Goose On The Loose!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 400.

Domestic Goose in Wild

What did the tooth brush want to become when he grew older?

A broom.

Interesting Fact: The domestication, as Charles Darwin remarks (The Variation of Animals and Plants under Domestication i. 287), is of very ancient date, with archaeological evidence for domesticated geese in Egypt more than 4,000 years ago.[2] They are much larger, and they have been selected for that larger size, with domesticated breeds weighing up to 10 kilograms (22 lb),[2] compared to the maximum of 3.5 kilograms (7.7 lb) for the wild swan goose and 4.1 kilograms (9.0 lb) for the wild greylag goose.[3] This affects their body structure; whereas wild geese have a horizontal posture and slim rear end, domesticated geese lay down large fat deposits toward the tail end, giving a fat rear and forcing the bird into a more upright posture. Although their heavy weight affects their ability to fly, most breeds of domestic geese are capable of flight. ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_goose )