The Truth Is Hard To Swallow When You’re Choking On Your Pride!

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Tree Swallows

What do you call a guy who never farts in public?

A private tutor.

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows have helped researchers make major advances in several branches of ecology, and they are among the best-studied bird species in North America. Still, we know little about their lives during migration and winter. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

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Get Your Green On!

Happy St Patrick’s Day!

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Monk Parakeets

Why don’t you iron 4-Leaf clovers?

Because you don’t want to press your luck.

Interesting Fact: Monk Parakeets kept in captivity can learn to mimic human speech. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Monk_Parakeet/lifehistory )

Interesting Fact: Saint Patrick’s Day, or the Feast of Saint Patrick(Irish: Lá Fhéile Pádraig, “the Day of the Festival of Patrick”), is a cultural and religious celebration held on 17 March, the traditional death date of Saint Patrick (c. AD 385–461), the foremost patron saint of Ireland. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Patrick%27s_Day )

You Want A Little Bit Of The Top?!

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Sandhill Crane

A guy walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables…

the bartender says, buddy, I’ll serve you as long as you don’t start anything.

Interesting Fact:  Sandhill Crane chicks can leave the nest within 8 hours of hatching, and are even capable of swimming. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Sandhill_Crane/overview )

I Can Walk On Water!

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Ring-billed Gull

Two Police officers are talking:

A naked women robbed a bank.

Nobody could remember her face.

Interesting Fact: Ring-billed Gulls near Tampa Bay, Florida, became accustomed to feasting on garbage at an open landfill site. Then, in 1983, operators replaced the dumping grounds with closed incinerators. The thwarted scavengers found themselves another open dump, but the pattern continues all across the gull’s range. When waste-management practices shift from open landfills to closed incinerators, gull numbers often drop. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-billed_Gull/lifehistory )

Let The Sea Set You Free.

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Common Terns

Why was the math textbook so sad?

He had a lot of problems!

Interesting Fact: The Common Tern is sometimes called the sea swallow. A group of common terns are collectively known as a “committee” of terns. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/mwg/_/0/identify.whatbird.com/obj/465/overview/Common_Tern.aspx )

 

We Are Not Short, We Are Just More Down To Earth Than Other Birds.

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Least Sandpiper

A termite walks into a bar and says, “Where is the bar tender?”

Interesting Fact: The Least Sandpiper is the smallest shorebird in the world, weighing in at about 1 ounce and measuring 5-6 inches long. Males are slightly smaller than females. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Least_Sandpiper/lifehistory )

Don’t Just Stand There, Summer Is Here!

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Greater Yellowlegs

What did the pig say on a hot summer day?

I’m bacon!

Interesting Fact:  Greater Yellowlegs eats small aquatic and terrestrial invertebrates, small fish, frogs, and occasionally seeds and berries. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Greater_Yellowlegs/lifehistory )

 

You looking at me? Owl Do Something About It!

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Great Horned Owlets

What do you call an owl get together?

A HOO-tenanny

Interesting Fact: When clenched, a Great Horned Owl’s strong talons require a force of 28 pounds to open. The owls use this deadly grip to sever the spine of large prey. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Horned_Owl/lifehistory )

 

 

Oops, Wrong Tern!

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Common Tern

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me and we will go places!

Interesting Fact:  The incubating adult Common Tern flies off its nest to defecate 5-50 m (16-160 ft) away. It deposits its feces indiscriminately in nearby water or on the territories of other terns. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Tern/lifehistory )

Be Different!

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Western-Grebe

Why did the traffic light turn red?

You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!

Interesting Fact:  The Western Grebe, like other grebes, spends almost all its time in water and is very awkward when on land. The legs are so far back on the body that walking is very difficult. Western Grebes are adept swimmers and divers. Courtship happens entirely in the water, including a well-known display known as “rushing,” where two birds turn to one side, lunge forward in synchrony, their bodies completely out of the water, and race across the water side by side with their necks curved gracefully forward. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Western_Grebe/lifehistory )