I Am Not A Patient Person

F/7.1, 1/160, ISO 320.

Wild Turkey 

How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.

Interesting Fact: Despite their weight, wild turkeys, unlike their domesticated counterparts, are agile, fast fliers. In ideal habitat of open woodland or wooded grasslands,[20] they may fly beneath the canopy top and find perches. They usually fly close to the ground for no more than 400 m (a quarter mile). ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wild_turkey )

 

You Wanna To Go Bro!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 400.

Northern Flickers 

Who do you call when a giant fly attacks the city?

The SWAT team.

Interesting Fact: Nests are generally placed 6-15 feet off the ground, but on rare occasions can be over 100 feet high. Northern Flickers have been known to nest in old burrows of Belted Kingfishers or Bank Swallows. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Flicker/lifehistory )

 

 

Do Not Swallow!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 320.

Barn Swallow

What did the blanket say to the bed?

Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!

Interesting Fact: According to legend, the Barn Swallow got its forked tail because it stole fire from the gods to bring to people. An angry deity hurled a firebrand at the swallow, singeing away its middle tail feathers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/lifehistory )

I Have Been Thinking To Buy A Drill.

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 500.

Northern Flicker 

What is a mattress’ favorite season?

Spring.

Interesting Fact: Northern Flickers usually excavate nest holes in dead or diseased tree trunks or large branches. In northern North America look for nests in trembling aspens, which are susceptible to a heartrot that makes for easy excavation. Unlike many woodpeckers, flickers often reuse cavities that they or another species excavated in a previous year. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Flicker/lifehistory )

 

 

I Enjoy Long Romantic Walks To The Fridge.

F/6.3, 1/100, ISO 250.

Wild Turkey

What did the lawyer name his daughter?

Sue.

Interesting Fact: The English name of the bird may be a holdover from early shipping routes that passed through the country of Turkey on their way to delivering the birds to European markets. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wild_Turkey/lifehistory )

Shh… I’m Hiding From Negative People.

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 320.

Northern Flicker 

What did the math text book say to the Shakespeare text book?

I’ve already got a lot of problems, and I don’t need any of your drama.

Interesting Fact: Although it can climb up the trunks of trees and hammer on wood like other woodpeckers, the Northern Flicker prefers to find food on the ground. Ants are its main food, and the flicker digs in the dirt to find them. It uses its long barbed tongue to lap up the ants. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Flicker/ )

 

 

Don’t Be Such A Turkey!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 500.

Wild Turkeys

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

Because it wanted to get to the bottom.

Interesting Fact: Wild Turkeys nest on the ground in dead leaves at the bases of trees, under brush piles or thick shrubbery, or occasionally in open hayfields. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wild_Turkey/lifehistory )

 

 

 

OH SH*T!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Tree Swallow

Why do ghosts ride in elevators?

It keeps their spirits up.

Interesting Fact: They bathe by flying low over the water and skimming their bodies against the surface, then rising quickly while shaking off droplets. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

My Life Feels Like A Test I Didn’t Study For.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Peregrine Falcon

What is the difference between inlaws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted! (or You can shoot outlaws!)

Interesting Fact: When hunting, Peregrines start by watching from a high perch or by flapping slowly or soaring at great height. Stoops begin 300–3,000 feet above their prey and end either by grabbing the prey or by striking it with the feet hard enough to stun or kill it. They then catch the bird and bite through the neck to kill it. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Peregrine_Falcon/lifehistory )

 

Life Is Only A Reflection Of What We Allow Ourselves To See

mallard-5

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Mallard

A duck waddles into a card shop, he waddles his way to the front desk asking the clerk, Do you got any tape?

The clerk replies, No. So the duck waddles away. The very next day at the same time the same duck waddles into the Card Shop he waddles right up to that same clerk asking him, Do you have any tape?

The clerk looking irritated replying in a stern voice, No! We are a card shop we sell cards not tape! And if you ask me again I will nail your bill to the counter!

So the duck just waddles away. At the same time the next day the Duck is waddling into that same card shop He waddles right up to that same clerk asking him, do you have any nails? The clerk says, no. Then the duck replied good!! So do you have any tape?

Interesting Fact: Mallard pairs form long before the spring breeding season. Pairing takes place in the fall, but courtship can be seen all winter. Only the female incubates the eggs and takes care of the ducklings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )