Shh… I’m Hiding From Negative People.

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 320.

Northern Flicker 

What did the math text book say to the Shakespeare text book?

I’ve already got a lot of problems, and I don’t need any of your drama.

Interesting Fact: Although it can climb up the trunks of trees and hammer on wood like other woodpeckers, the Northern Flicker prefers to find food on the ground. Ants are its main food, and the flicker digs in the dirt to find them. It uses its long barbed tongue to lap up the ants. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Flicker/ )

 

 

Don’t Be Such A Turkey!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 500.

Wild Turkeys

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

Because it wanted to get to the bottom.

Interesting Fact: Wild Turkeys nest on the ground in dead leaves at the bases of trees, under brush piles or thick shrubbery, or occasionally in open hayfields. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wild_Turkey/lifehistory )

 

 

 

OH SH*T!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Tree Swallow

Why do ghosts ride in elevators?

It keeps their spirits up.

Interesting Fact: They bathe by flying low over the water and skimming their bodies against the surface, then rising quickly while shaking off droplets. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

My Life Feels Like A Test I Didn’t Study For.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Peregrine Falcon

What is the difference between inlaws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted! (or You can shoot outlaws!)

Interesting Fact: When hunting, Peregrines start by watching from a high perch or by flapping slowly or soaring at great height. Stoops begin 300–3,000 feet above their prey and end either by grabbing the prey or by striking it with the feet hard enough to stun or kill it. They then catch the bird and bite through the neck to kill it. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Peregrine_Falcon/lifehistory )

 

Life Is Only A Reflection Of What We Allow Ourselves To See

mallard-5

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Mallard

A duck waddles into a card shop, he waddles his way to the front desk asking the clerk, Do you got any tape?

The clerk replies, No. So the duck waddles away. The very next day at the same time the same duck waddles into the Card Shop he waddles right up to that same clerk asking him, Do you have any tape?

The clerk looking irritated replying in a stern voice, No! We are a card shop we sell cards not tape! And if you ask me again I will nail your bill to the counter!

So the duck just waddles away. At the same time the next day the Duck is waddling into that same card shop He waddles right up to that same clerk asking him, do you have any nails? The clerk says, no. Then the duck replied good!! So do you have any tape?

Interesting Fact: Mallard pairs form long before the spring breeding season. Pairing takes place in the fall, but courtship can be seen all winter. Only the female incubates the eggs and takes care of the ducklings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

Dont Be Afraid to Stick Your Neck Out!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Ring-necked Duck

Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?

Because you can see right through him.

Interesting Fact:  Ring-necked Ducks feed by diving underwater, rather than by tipping up as “dabbling” ducks do. When diving, they leap forward in an arc to plunge underwater, and they swim using only their feet for propulsion. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-necked_Duck/lifehistory )

Cold Doesn’t Bother Me Anyway.

F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 320.

Dark-eyed Junco 

What do ghosts serve for dessert?

I Scream.

Interesting Fact: The female chooses the nest site, typically in a depression or niche on sloping ground, rock face, or amid the tangled roots of an upturned tree. Around people, juncos may nest in or underneath buildings. Occasionally, juncos nest above the ground on horizontal branches (rarely as high as 45 feet), window ledges, and in hanging flower pots or light fixtures. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Dark-eyed_Junco/lifehistory )

 

 

 

Let It Snow!

F/10.0, 1/800, ISO 250.

Dark-eyed Junco

What do you call an old snowman?

Water!

Interesting Fact: The oldest recorded Dark-eyed Junco was at least 11 years, 4 months old when it was recaptured and rereleased during banding operations in West Virginia in 2001. It had been banded in the same state in 1991. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Dark-eyed_Junco/lifehistory )

REMEMBER! You Are What You Eat!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERONE!!!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 400.

Wild Turkey Female

What did the turkey say to the computer?

Google, Google, Google

Interesting Fact: The female scratches a shallow depression in the soil, about 1 inch deep, 8–11 inches wide, and 9–13 inches long. Wild Turkeys use only the dead leaves or other plant materials already present at the nest site. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wild_Turkey/lifehistory )

 

I Feel The Need… The Need For Speed.

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 400.

Peregrine Falcon

Why did the cranberries turn red?

Because they saw the turkey dressing!

Interesting Fact: When hunting, Peregrines start by watching from a high perch or by flapping slowly or soaring at great height. Stoops begin 300–3,000 feet above their prey and end either by grabbing the prey or by striking it with the feet hard enough to stun or kill it. They then catch the bird and bite through the neck to kill it. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Peregrine_Falcon/lifehistory )