Swallows

Take A Chill Pill!

May 15, 2021 — 19 Comments

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Tree Swallow

What do you get when cross a donkey and an onion?

A piece of ass that’ll bring a tear to your eye!

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows line their nests with feathers, and they seem to display or even play with these feathers during the early nesting season. A bird flies above the nest with a feather held in its bill; sometimes this leads to chases, and sometimes the bird drops the feather, causing an aerial free-for-all to see which bird retrieves it. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

Do Not Swallow!

July 29, 2020 — 18 Comments

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 320.

Barn Swallow

What did the blanket say to the bed?

Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!

Interesting Fact: According to legend, the Barn Swallow got its forked tail because it stole fire from the gods to bring to people. An angry deity hurled a firebrand at the swallow, singeing away its middle tail feathers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/lifehistory )

OH SH*T!

April 14, 2020 — 20 Comments

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Tree Swallow

Why do ghosts ride in elevators?

It keeps their spirits up.

Interesting Fact: They bathe by flying low over the water and skimming their bodies against the surface, then rising quickly while shaking off droplets. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

Nooo, Go Away You Are Bothering Me!

September 3, 2019 — 14 Comments

Tree Swallow

F/5,6, 1/400, ISO 125.

Tree Swallow

How do you make a water bed more bouncy?

Use spring water.

Interesting Fact: The Tree Swallow—which is most often seen in open, treeless areas—gets its name from its habit of nesting in tree cavities. They also take readily to nest boxes.  ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/tree_swallow/lifehistory )

Don’t You Think We Should Go Wireless?!

May 30, 2019 — 29 Comments

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 250.

Barn Swallow

Husband and Wife are having a conversation.

Wife: How many women have u slept with?

Husband: Only you darling, I was awake with the other women.

Interesting Fact: The Barn Swallow is the most abundant and widely distributed swallow species in the world. It breeds throughout the Northern Hemisphere and winters in much of the Southern Hemisphere. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/lifehistory )

 

 

If You Can’t Win An Argument, Correct Their Grammar Instead.

April 29, 2019 — 12 Comments

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 250.

Tree Swallow

Nurse: “The invisible man is here for his appointment.”

Doctor: “Tell him I’m sorry I can’t see him right now.”

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows nest in natural cavities of standing dead trees, old woodpecker cavities, or nest boxes. On occasion they nest in hollow stumps, building eaves, Wood Duck nest boxes, holes in the ground, old Cliff Swallow burrows, or other unconventional sites.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

The Truth Is Hard To Swallow When You’re Choking On Your Pride!

April 9, 2018 — 6 Comments

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 250.

Tree Swallows

What do you call a guy who never farts in public?

A private tutor.

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows have helped researchers make major advances in several branches of ecology, and they are among the best-studied bird species in North America. Still, we know little about their lives during migration and winter. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

No. Stop Don’t SWALLOW That!

April 3, 2016 — 22 Comments

Tree Swallow

F/ 5.6, 1/500, ISO 125.

Tree Swallow

What do you call a chicken in the 1960’s?

A funky chicken.

Interesting Fact: Migrating and wintering Tree Swallows can form enormous flocks numbering in the hundreds of thousands. They gather about an hour before sunset and form a dense cloud above a roost site (such as a cattail marsh or grove of small trees), swirling around like a living tornado. With each pass, more birds drop down until they are all settled on the roost. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

Kissing Burns 6.4 Calories A Minute Wanna Work Out!

July 17, 2015 — 22 Comments

Barn Swallow 1

F/6.3, 1/640, ISO 800.

 Barn Swallow

Day 198 / 365

If the bird of wisdom is an owl, and the bird of peace is the dove, what is the bird of TRUE love?

Interesting Fact: Barn Swallow parents sometimes get help from other birds to feed their young. These “helpers at the nest” are usually older siblings from previous clutches, but unrelated juveniles may help as well.  ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/lifehistory )