doctor joke

These Mushrooms Are Trippy!

January 7, 2023 — 15 Comments

F/6.3, 1/50, ISO 320.

Downy Woodpecker

“Doctor doctor I feel that Im a pack of card. What can I do ?”

Doctor: “I deal with you later.”

Interesting Fact: Downy Woodpeckers have the undulating flight pattern typical of many woodpecker species, alternating quick wingbeats with folding the wings against the body. When having a dispute with another bird, Downy Woodpeckers fan their tails, raise their head feathers, and jerk their beaks from side to side. In spring you may see courtship displays in which males and females fly between trees with slow, fluttering wingbeats that look almost butterfly-like. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Downy_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

 

My Eyes Always Come Out Red In Photos

January 6, 2023 — 15 Comments

F/ 6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.

Canvasback

“Doctor, doctor, my wife thinks she’s a duck.”

“You better bring her in to see me straight away.”

“I can’t do that – she’s already flown south for the winter.”  

Interesting Fact: The species name of the Canvasback, Aythya valisineria, comes from Vallisneria americana, or wild celery, whose winter buds and rhizomes are its preferred food during the nonbreeding period.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canvasback/lifehistory )

I Got A Headache!

November 19, 2022 — 8 Comments

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO  320.

Downy Woodpecker

What’s the problem with twin witches?

You never know which witch is which.

Interesting Fact: Downy Woodpeckers nest in dead trees or in dead parts of live trees. They typically choose a small stub (averaging around 7 inches in diameter) that leans away from the vertical, and place the entrance hole on the underside. Nest trees are often deciduous and the wood is often infected with a fungus that softens the wood, making excavating easier. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Downy_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

 

Who Dyed Your Hair!

March 15, 2022 — 18 Comments

F/8.0, 1/1000, ISO 400.

Red-Bellied Woodpecker

Teacher: “Bobby what do you want to be when you grow up?”

Bobby: “A doctor.”

Teacher: “And why’s that?”

Bobby: “Because it’s the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill.”

Interesting Fact:  These birds often stick to main branches and trunks of trees, where they hitch in classic woodpecker fashion, leaning away from the trunk and onto their stiff tail feathers as they search for food hiding in bark crevices. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-bellied_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

Lets Get Carried Away!

October 6, 2021 — 4 Comments

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 250.

Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta

What did the balloon say to the doctor?

“I feel lightheaded!”

Interesting Fact: In 1975 Albuquerque was looking at hosting the World Championships again, but the event was scheduled for October. So the fiesta was moved to correspond with the championships. To maintain interest in Albuquerque’s bid to host the championships, a balloon rally was held in February of that year. Autumn being a far better flying time than February, the event has remained in early October to the present day.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albuquerque_International_Balloon_Fiesta#History )

Peek A Boo, I See You!

September 21, 2021 — 16 Comments

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 160.

Green Heron

Patient: “Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in several places”

Doctor: “Well don’t go to those places.”

Interesting Fact: Each breeding season, Green Herons pair up with one mate apiece, performing courtship displays that include stretching their necks, snapping their bills, flying with exaggerated flaps, and calling loudly. They often nest solitarily, although they may join colonies with other Green Herons or with other species. They defend breeding areas from each other and from birds like crows and grackles that prey on their nests. Other predators include snakes and raccoons. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )

Blue Me!

November 5, 2020 — 16 Comments

F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 400.

Eastern Bluebird

Doctor is talking to a patient.

Doctor:  “Do you do sports?”

Patient:  “Does sex count?”

Doctor:  “Yes.”

Patient:  “Then no.”

Interesting Fact: Eastern Bluebirds typically have more than one successful brood per year. Young produced in early nests usually leave their parents in summer, but young from later nests frequently stay with their parents over the winter.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Eastern_Bluebird/lifehistory )

Patience, Young Grasshopper.

September 27, 2019 — Leave a comment

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Grasshopper

Why don’t some doctors like being on hold?

They don’t have a lot of patients.

Interesting Fact: A large grasshopper, such as a locust, can jump about a metre (twenty body lengths) without using its wings; the acceleration peaks at about 20 g.[26] Grasshoppers jump by extending their large back legs and pushing against the substrate (the ground, a twig, a blade of grass or whatever else they are standing on); the reaction force propels them into the air.[27] They jump for several reasons; to escape from a predator, to launch themselves into flight, or simply to move from place to place. For the escape jump in particular there is strong selective pressure to maximize take-off velocity, since this determines the range. This means that the legs must thrust against the ground with both high force and a high velocity of movement. A fundamental property of muscle is that it cannot contract with high force and high velocity at the same time. Grasshoppers overcome this by using a catapult mechanism to amplify the mechanical power produced by their muscles. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grasshopper )

 

 

It Is Hard To Fly When Something Is Weighing You Down

June 16, 2019 — 18 Comments

 

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Great Egret 

What did the banana say to the doctor?

I’m not peeling well.

Interesting Fact: The Great Egret walks with its neck extended and its wings held close to its body. In flight, it is graceful and buoyant, with its neck tucked back against its shoulders and its legs trailing behind. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret/lifehistory )

Don’t Drink And Fly!

June 12, 2019 — 22 Comments

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Bumblebee

Why Did The Bee Go To The Doctor?

It Had Hives!

Interesting Fact:  Only queen and worker bees have stingers. Besides lack of stingers, drones can be identified by size – they are the smallest type of bumblebees in the colony. ( http://www.softschools.com/facts/animals/bumblebee_facts/582/ )