If Opportunity Doesn’t Knock Build A Door

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Hairy Woodpecker

A drunk appears in front of a judge.

The judge says, “You’ve been brought here for drinking.”

The drunk says, “Okay, let’s get started!”

Interesting Fact: Across North America the Hairy Woodpecker can be found from sea level to high in the mountains. In Central America, it is restricted to higher mountain forests. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hairy_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

I Peck You!

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Hairy Woodpecker

What did the blanket say to the bed?

Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!

Interesting Fact: Hairy Woodpeckers sometimes drink sap leaking from wells in the bark made by sapsuckers. They’ve also been seen pecking into sugar cane to drink the sugary juice. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hairy_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

These Mushrooms Are Trippy!

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Downy Woodpecker

“Doctor doctor I feel that Im a pack of card. What can I do ?”

Doctor: “I deal with you later.”

Interesting Fact: Downy Woodpeckers have the undulating flight pattern typical of many woodpecker species, alternating quick wingbeats with folding the wings against the body. When having a dispute with another bird, Downy Woodpeckers fan their tails, raise their head feathers, and jerk their beaks from side to side. In spring you may see courtship displays in which males and females fly between trees with slow, fluttering wingbeats that look almost butterfly-like. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Downy_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

 

I Got A Headache!

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Downy Woodpecker

What’s the problem with twin witches?

You never know which witch is which.

Interesting Fact: Downy Woodpeckers nest in dead trees or in dead parts of live trees. They typically choose a small stub (averaging around 7 inches in diameter) that leans away from the vertical, and place the entrance hole on the underside. Nest trees are often deciduous and the wood is often infected with a fungus that softens the wood, making excavating easier. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Downy_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

 

Dont Mess With Me, I Can Peck You Up!

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Downy Woodpecker

Teacher: Bob please point to America on the map.

Bob: This is it.

Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?

Class: Bob did.

Interesting Fact: Woodpeckers don’t sing songs, but they drum loudly against pieces of wood or metal to achieve the same effect. People sometimes think this drumming is part of the birds’ feeding habits, but it isn’t. In fact, feeding birds make surprisingly little noise even when they’re digging vigorously into wood. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/downy_woodpecker/lifehistory )

I Have A Headache!

downy-woodpecker-4

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 320.

Downy Woodpecker

Why did Adele cross the road?

To sing, “Hello from the other side!”

 Interesting Fact: Downy Woodpeckers have been discovered nesting inside the walls of buildings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Downy_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

Peck Away!

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Downy Woodpecker 

What is harder to catch the faster you run?

Your breath.

Interesting Fact: An active woodpecker that moves quickly over tree trunks, branches, and stems of grasses and wildflowers, characteristically leaning against its stiffened tail feathers for support. Downy Woodpeckers move horizontally and downwards on trees much more readily than most other woodpeckers. ( Downy Woodpecker Life History, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

 

 

This Tree Taste Really Weird To Me?!

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Pileated Woodpecker

Why did the belt go to jail?

Because it held up a pair of pants!

Interesting Fact: The Pileated Woodpecker digs characteristically rectangular holes in trees to find ants. These excavations can be so broad and deep that they can cause small trees to break in half. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Pileated_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

Two Peckers One Hole

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Hispaniolan Woodpeckers

How do crazy people get through the forest?

They take the psycho path.

Interesting Fact: The Hispaniolan Woodpecker is sufficiently abundant to be considered an agricultural pest in some areas, on account of it feeding in fruit orchards, although it also regularly consumes insects and tree sap. It nests in tree-cavities and breeds in loose colonies of up to 20 pairs. ( https://neotropical.birds.cornell.edu/Species-Account/nb/species/hiswoo1/overview )

Check Out Deez Nuts!

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Downy Woodpecker

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts cost a buck twenty-five. Deer nuts are under a buck!

Interesting Fact: Downy Woodpeckers eat mainly insects, including beetle larvae that live inside wood or tree bark as well as ants and caterpillars. They eat pest insects including corn earworm, tent caterpillars, bark beetles, and apple borers. About a quarter of their diet consists of plant material, particularly berries, acorns, and grains. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Downy_Woodpecker/lifehistory )