F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 320.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.
What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A private tutor.
Interesting Fact: The Black-and-white Warbler is the only member of the genus Mniotilta. The genus name means “moss-plucking,” a reference to its habit of probing bark and moss for insects. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-and-white_Warbler )
F/9.0, 1/1250, ISO 400.
Teacher: Bob please point to America on the map.
Bob: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Bob did.
Interesting Fact: Woodpeckers don’t sing songs, but they drum loudly against pieces of wood or metal to achieve the same effect. People sometimes think this drumming is part of the birds’ feeding habits, but it isn’t. In fact, feeding birds make surprisingly little noise even when they’re digging vigorously into wood. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/downy_woodpecker/lifehistory )
F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 160.
A police officer pulled over two nuns riding on a motorcycle, and said to the rider, ‘Ma’am, you’re driving much too slowly, could you please drive faster?”
And the nun says, ‘Oh, I saw the sign with the “21” and assumed the speed limit was 21 mph”
The officer explains: ‘No ma’am, the speed limit is 65. The highway number is Interstate 21.”
Then the police officer look at the passenger and see the other nun shaking like a leaf.
“Excuse me sister, but what’s wrong with your passenger?”
“Oh, that’s probably because we just got off Highway 205.”
Interesting Fact: The first internal combustion, petroleum fueled motorcycle was the Daimler Reitwagen. It was designed and built by the German inventors Gottlieb Daimler and Wilhelm Maybach in Bad Cannstatt, Germany in 1885. This vehicle was unlike either the safety bicycles or the boneshaker bicycles of the era in that it had zero degrees of steering axis angle and no fork offset, and thus did not use the principles of bicycle and motorcycle dynamics developed nearly 70 years earlier. Instead, it relied on two outrigger wheels to remain upright while turning. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motorcycle#History )
F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.
A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
Interesting Fact: As warblers go, Black-and-white Warblers are combative: they’ll attack and fight with other species that enter their territory, including Black-capped Chickadees, Red-breasted Nuthatches, and American Redstarts. This aggressive behavior extends to the wintering grounds, where they defend territories and when feeding in mixed flocks will drive other Black-and-white Warblers away. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-and-white_Warbler/lifehistory )
F/ 13.0, 1/60, ISO 200, Photoshop CS6.
Day 351 / 365
A man was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile. When the foreman asked the man why he kept painting less each day.
He replied “I just can’t do any better. Each day I keep getting further away from the paint can”.
Interesting Fact: Ancient colored walls at Dendera, Egypt, which were exposed for years to the elements, still possess their brilliant color, as vivid as when they were painted about 2,000 years ago. The Egyptians mixed their colors with a gummy substance, and applied them separately from each other without any blending or mixture. They appear to have used six colors: white, black, blue, red, yellow, and green. They first covered the area entirely with white, then traced the design in black, leaving out the lights of the ground color. They used minium for red, and generally of a dark tinge. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paint#History )
F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 1600.
Day 256 / 365
Have you heard the skunk joke?
You don’t want to; it really stinks!
Interesting Fact: Skunks are legendary for their powerful predator-deterrent—a hard-to-remove, horrible-smelling spray. A skunk’s spray is an oily liquid produced by glands under its large tail. To employ this scent bomb, a skunk turns around and blasts its foe with a foul mist that can travel as far as ten feet (three meters). ( http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/skunk/ )
F/5.6, 1/30, ISO 800.
Day 240 / 365
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: “You can’t drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately.” The guy says OK, and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they’re all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands: “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?”
The guy replies: “I did… today I’m taking them to the beach!”
Interesting Fact: In the early days of automobile manufacturing, vehicles were sold as a chassis only, and third parties added bodies on top. In 1913 the Galion Allsteel Body Company, an early developer of the pickup and dump truck, built and installed hauling boxes on slightly modified Ford Model T chassis, and from 1917 on the Model TT. Seeking part of this market share, Dodge introduced a 3/4-ton pickup with cab and body constructed entirely of wood in 1924. In 1925 Ford followed up with a Model T-based steel-bodied, half-ton with an adjustable tailgate and heavy-duty rear springs. Billed it as the “Ford Model T Runabout with Pickup Body,” it sold for US$281. 34,000 were built. In 1928 it was replaced by the Model A which had a closed-cab, safety glass windshield, roll-up side windows and three-speed transmission. In 1931 Chevrolet produced its first factory-assembled pickup. Ford Australia produced the first Australian “ute” in 1932. During the second world war, the United States government halted the product of privately-owned pickup trucks. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pickup_truck )
F/3.5, 1/60, ISO 100.
Day 232 / 365
Why did the orange fail his driving test?
He kept peeling out.
Interesting Fact: Because oranges do not spoil easily and are full of vitamin C during the years of world exploration sailors planted orange and other citrus trees along trade routes to prevent scurvy which is a disease that develops from a deficiency of vitamin C. ( http://snip.ly/LNaQ#http://www.sciencekids.co.nz/sciencefacts/food/oranges.html )
F/5.6, 1/40, ISO 320, Photoshop CS6.
Day 168 / 365
What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
Interesting Fact: The water lily is a big balanced plant that floats above the water. Usually the lily has white female flowers and also pink male flowers. The flowers are the size of soccer balls. The plants come from seeds that come from water that rises 10 cm. a day. Soon it will produce 5-10 leaves a month. The large lilies provide food for fish and wildlife. ( http://interestingfacts.blog.com/2010/07/14/beautiful-water-lily/ )